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Children should be dealt with differently

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Ajustcopingparent

Member since
August 2024

127 posts

This whole situation with my 16yr old son is so frustrating and the impact on his life even when its over I feel will never go away.

For me children caught up in this should not be treated the same as adults. The fact at such a young age this could potentially ruin their lives when many it will be something that is not done intentionally.

Reading up on things the recommendations state that children should not be put in a police cell like my son was. That alone can cause damage to a child.

The length of time it takes to have devices checked is ridiculous. The whole system needs looking at.

A support worker at the police station said they are getting more and more cases where the accused is a child themselves. Where is the protection for these children.

Children that are caught up on the other side of this need protecting but where is the protection for children who find themselves accused of this and like in our case and many others we've been told if nothing found then that's the end of it. So potentially my sons life will have been ruined for nothing.

The problem is no one wants to raise these issues and say what it's like because of the stigma around it all. People hear terms of IIOC and automatically think peado but reading a lot of the children accused (which is in the eyes of the law up to 18) it seems to relate to things like Snapchat and those around their own age.

I wish I'd done more to protect my son. I wish I could take away this horrible situation for him. I also wish the OIC would tell us exactly how or what he's supposed to have done other than his email and our IP address.

Posted Sun May 11, 2025 8:02amReport post

Granny1

Member since
January 2025

15 posts

Totally agree with you. There should be a different way of handling teens caught up in this nightmare. Their maturity and understanding of the impact on the youngsters involved in these awful pictures is far different to what an adult would/should comprehend and the consequnces of them viewing such material not realised. I don't know how they go on to have a normal life if on the register for 5 years, how do they go on to meet a girl and have a normal relationship when restrictions are in place, get a job etc etc. Obviously there needs to be consequences for them but different from what is in place, depending on the circumstance of the offence, for adults.

Posted Sun May 11, 2025 1:16pmReport post

Momma bear

Member since
September 2024

9 posts

Totally agree with you.

My son was 18, arrested at 19 and still waiting nearly 21.

At a time when he should be living his best life he's in his room, struggling, wishing he was dead.



I'm utterly disgusted at the system.

Posted Sun May 11, 2025 7:05pmReport post

edel2020

Member since
March 2022

533 posts

There is a completely different set of charging rules for under 18s. Prosecutions are far less likely to be considered in the public interest and very few get taken to court, with youth courts also operating in a different way.

In 2021 for example, there were nearly 5,000 convictions for image offences and only 23 of them were aged under 18.

Different police forces operate in different ways, with some returning devices faster than others. I agree that the long waiting times are ridiculous, but prioritising one group over another is difficult because until the devices are checked, the police do not really know the full extent of someones offending and how serious it might be.

Posted Mon May 12, 2025 10:51amReport post

Granny1

Member since
January 2025

15 posts

I don't know if it's true that often under 18 aren't.taken to court, this site doesn't seem to back that.up and grandsons solicitor said it is happening a lot to teens. The thing is it is taking so long to get to court that once they are over 18 even if offence happened under 18 they seem to procecute.

Posted Mon May 12, 2025 12:07pmReport post

Winnie07

Member since
April 2022

69 posts

What an excellent thread and it mirrors my thoughts exactly but like has been said, the stigma surrounding this whole issue prevents many people feeling like they can speak out .

Slightly different but my Son (23 at the time) was locked up in a cell overnight after online chat with an underage girl . He is Autistic and has learning difficulties. We are 3 yrs down the line now and praying he doesn't end up in prison especially as the Psychiatrist who has just assessed him believes there was no criminal intent and he would "come out ten times worse ". How can this be allowed to happen ?

it's been 3 yrs of absolute hell and I feel totally broken with the way it has overwhelmed our lives.

of course special rules/and dealing with young people and vulnerable should apply

Posted Mon May 12, 2025 12:17pmReport post

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

420 posts

I completely agree children should be dealt with differently but sadly from our experience I don't believe that to be the case.

Ajustcopingparent- I am so sorry to read your son was put into a police cell. The knock itself was truely traumatic to us, so for your son to also end up in a police cell I can not begin to imagine how he (and you) coped with that on top. This, too me, is clearly an example of them treated your son as an adult.

Edel 2020 - The young person in our family attended Youth Court in 2021 and received a referral order for 1 year. I would be very interested if you could share where you found the figure of 23 convictions for under 18's in 2021. I am somewhat surprised by this figure as I thought it would be higher than that.

Our young person received the knock in 2020. It saddens me that in five years it appears that very little has changed with how young people are being treated by the police and long timescales.

Posted Mon May 12, 2025 1:22pmReport post

Ajustcopingparent

Member since
August 2024

127 posts

Alison20

He told me after he sat on floor rolled pieces of toilet paper up and tried to throw them in a cup. It does break my heart.

And reading recommendations on how to deal with children it should not have happened.

Posted Mon May 12, 2025 10:24pmReport post

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

420 posts

Hi Ajustcopingparent

I am so sorry this happened. It maybe worth considering complaining about this if you feel able to. We did a complaint letter to the police for a number of things we felt were dealt with very poorly during the whole process. We did this once the young person in our family had been sentenced at court. We did not feel safe to complain before sentencing as we did not have any trust in the police.

Posted Mon May 12, 2025 11:12pmReport post

edel2020

Member since
March 2022

533 posts

I was trying to recall the numbers from memory, but the source is the Ministry of Justice Criminal Justice statistics. The data is from 2018, but was published in 2021 I believe.

Table 22: Defendants found guilty at all courts for child sexual abuse offences, by offence type, sex and age group, year ending December 2014 to 2018.

23 is actually the number of females found guilty of image offences in 2018. Something we never see on this forum curiously.

The total number for males was 2433, of which 39 were juveniles. That compares to 36 juveniles in 2017. The numbers are consistently low and although we do see quite a few under 18s arrested on this forum, the number of those that make it all the way to court is another issue.

Posted Tue May 13, 2025 4:25pmReport post

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

420 posts

Edel - Thanks for sharing these stats.

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 11:25amReport post

Winnie07

Member since
April 2022

69 posts

Alison20, may I ask who you complained to ? Thanks

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 7:11pmReport post

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

420 posts

Hello Winnie

We sent a letter of complaint to the Chief Constable of our local police force. Every constabulary should have information on their complaints procedure on their website.

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 9:17pmReport post

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