Family and Friends Forum

Hi Livy have you had any risk assment done to see wht his risk is and your daughter is 14 how comes she can't have unsupervised contact if you did keep safe work with her I am sure she will be able two .

Agree with Pinky, they should be doing a risk assessment. As your child is 14 has she been attending the conferences or her views being taken into account?

You can do keep safe work with her, it doesn't have to be done by ss. At 14, providing she has no issues that prevent it, then she should be told the full picture of what your OH has done. This can lead to a conversation about how she feels around him, if anything has made her feel uncomfortable or if any of her friends have ever expressed concerns. If you aren't comfortable having these discussions then is there somebody you trust that she trusts too? Giving her opportunity to speak freely and making her aware of who her support network of trusted adults are may help her to engage with ss. She might feel that you don't like or want them involved so she's doing her best not to say the wrong thing. You or whoever does the chat with her needs to remain neutral and allow her to express her emotions as her emotions that are valid and she is entitled to whatever she says. In terms of "keep safe" work I would like to think that she would know most of that; staying safe online, privacy, the law around sending nudes even to peers, who to come to if she feels in danger and the signs of grooming by adults whilst she is still young and vulnerable to being groomed. It's important to acknowledge that older people who hang around with teenagers, buy them alcohol, drugs or things their parents wouldn't likely don't have good motives so making her aware of this is something I would do as priority if you haven't already. How does she feel about seeing your OH daily? My kids at 14 would have kicked off about not having enough time to spend with friends, although that may just be my kids lol xxx

My daughter was 13 when we got the knock ss arrived a few days later they spoke to myself and my oh then when she came in from school they spoke to her on there own we took the dog a 15 minute walk we never heard another thing from ss even after sentencing, my daughter had a psychologist at school she had access too when she wanted and then after sentencing was given a mentor which she still sees regular, my oh was 5 images all inaccessible 2 cat a and 3 cat b was given 180 community pay back 1 year supervision and 1 year on register

Hi Livvy

Unfortunately it sounds like they want to escalate to PLO which is what I have just started to go through. They have to justify the reasons for this and do an updated assessment. Make sure you are being involved in the whole process and they are explaining things to you x

They did an updated Child and Family assessment for us, didn't include us in the assessment or ask any questions, and it's full of lies, opinions, assumptions and accusations. They then used that to escalate to PLO. We are livid and they would not let us discuss the assessment in the CP conference review. If they have told you they are seeking legal advice and stepping up from CP, that indicates PLO. Just prepare yourself x

We are submitting a complaint about the assessment. We are currently escalating an open complaint to stage 3 about how the whole case was handled from the beginning.

Don't be afraid to ask them on how they have made decisions without your involvement and opinions x

Did SS's interview your daughter very soon after Dads arrest? By their reasoning, she would have been most likely to tell them the truth about how she felt about him at that point. SS's will say ANYTHING to get you to comply. Its so much easier for them that way. They don't have to do anywhere near as much work! X

Not sure if you have already but if SS are talking about escalating to PLO then I would suggest you seek legal advice yourself.