1 charge of attempted communication - no images
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Everything's rattled along at a pace since early May and the CPS have just approved a single charge of 'attempted communication- no images'. Decoy posing as 13 year old girl. Ugh.
Next week he'll get his magistrates court date.
The elephant on the room is perhaps only a small elephant, but the hat and sunglasses have been removed and we now have to deal with reality.
There's a chance - though I'm sceptical - that he'll be dealt with entirely in the magistrate's court. I know that's rare and I suspect they'll want the judge to have full range of sentencing powers including suspended sentence.
Emotions? Relief / reality / anger / sadness / resolve / pride in myself and my children / gratitude for my friends and the forum / knowledge I'll get through this with my magnificent children.
Hopefully we're ~3 months from conclusion.
1. I'd love to hear anyone else's outcome for the same charge. Including how long on the SOR.
2. I'm assuming I can confidently assert he cannot come and live at home, due to social services' fairly blanket view on this. I do not want him to live at home and will be relieved if this is backed up by people's experiences of social services; I do not want to be manipulated or cornered by him.
Next week he'll get his magistrates court date.
The elephant on the room is perhaps only a small elephant, but the hat and sunglasses have been removed and we now have to deal with reality.
There's a chance - though I'm sceptical - that he'll be dealt with entirely in the magistrate's court. I know that's rare and I suspect they'll want the judge to have full range of sentencing powers including suspended sentence.
Emotions? Relief / reality / anger / sadness / resolve / pride in myself and my children / gratitude for my friends and the forum / knowledge I'll get through this with my magnificent children.
Hopefully we're ~3 months from conclusion.
1. I'd love to hear anyone else's outcome for the same charge. Including how long on the SOR.
2. I'm assuming I can confidently assert he cannot come and live at home, due to social services' fairly blanket view on this. I do not want him to live at home and will be relieved if this is backed up by people's experiences of social services; I do not want to be manipulated or cornered by him.
My partner had 3 charges; attempted communication, inciting and another charge that I forget the wording of around sending pornography to a minor.
He received a 3 year community order, 5 years SHPO (online only) and 5 year SOR, a small fine and the horizon course.
If you don't want him to live at home then that is your choice, how you manage the situation around the house and finances I'm unsure of as this wasn't an issue for me as everything is in my name. For us, social services have been happy to be led by what I want to happen regarding our daughter although I'm unsure if that would be the case if I had wanted him to come back straight after sentencing. We are 4 years post sentencing and he has recently started a phased return. He has done a lot of work on understanding his offending etc. I've also done a lot of work which I wouldn't have done if I hadn't wanted to resume the relationship xxx
He received a 3 year community order, 5 years SHPO (online only) and 5 year SOR, a small fine and the horizon course.
If you don't want him to live at home then that is your choice, how you manage the situation around the house and finances I'm unsure of as this wasn't an issue for me as everything is in my name. For us, social services have been happy to be led by what I want to happen regarding our daughter although I'm unsure if that would be the case if I had wanted him to come back straight after sentencing. We are 4 years post sentencing and he has recently started a phased return. He has done a lot of work on understanding his offending etc. I've also done a lot of work which I wouldn't have done if I hadn't wanted to resume the relationship xxx
Hi just wanted to say your situation sounds similar to my husbands. one single communication offence with a decoy who said they was 13 years old. My husband was unfortantly stupid enough to send x3 inappropriate pictures of his self also. Devices have came back and nothing has been found at all. It's now work the CPS and we are awaiting the outcome from this .... how long did the CPS take for you guys? My husband has told the truth throughout this process and admitted to being on a chat room for years and this particular conversation didn't stop ???? how very stupid of him!
That sounds very similar. I know my husband had been exchanging pics with many many women once apps became a thing, and then as he became increasingly addicted his threshold for acceptable behaviour, and ages, dropped and he has messaged more than just the decoy... His devices showed plenty of risky online sexual behaviour (in my view appalling even if not illegal) going back years but that was the only offence they found.
He has been incredibly lucky tbh, and imho your husband's behaviour is no worse than mine so it feels so unfair that yours may face worse charges.
Timeframe for us was 9 working days (11 calendar days) between referral to CPS and decision to charge. OIC specifically told CPS (and us) what charge he proposed, and CPS agreed. Have you had an indication of what charges are proposed?
He has been incredibly lucky tbh, and imho your husband's behaviour is no worse than mine so it feels so unfair that yours may face worse charges.
Timeframe for us was 9 working days (11 calendar days) between referral to CPS and decision to charge. OIC specifically told CPS (and us) what charge he proposed, and CPS agreed. Have you had an indication of what charges are proposed?
Just to add my husband admitted everything at arrest and was very honest (horrifyingly so) with me thereafter, about what he'd been up to online. He's working with a stopso therapist and goes to 3x a week SAA meetings.
My son also admitted everything during his arrest. He received 3 charges relating to sexual communication with the most serious being inciting. He received a 2 year suspended sentence, 300 hours community payback, a fine and 10 years SHPO and SOR.
The communication took place on Snapchat on and off for a couple of weeks. My sons solicitor was concerned that the prosecution might claim grooming behaviour had been used which would mean the case fell into culpability A. The solicitor only found out just before they were called into court that this wasn't the case and that the case was in culpability B which meant the starting point was lower.
Wishing you both all the best in your outcome.
The communication took place on Snapchat on and off for a couple of weeks. My sons solicitor was concerned that the prosecution might claim grooming behaviour had been used which would mean the case fell into culpability A. The solicitor only found out just before they were called into court that this wasn't the case and that the case was in culpability B which meant the starting point was lower.
Wishing you both all the best in your outcome.
This all sounds very similar to my OH also - we have 2nd interview on Monday.
He admitted everything at arrest - online conversations and porn for some months prior to arrest - for a convo - no photos - with a '13 year old' (still swears he didn't realise the age and given his mental health at the time I tend to believe him). Still not sure if a decoy or not but they do all seem to say they are 13 - perhaps I will find out on Monday - as well as if he has been totally honest with me.......
He admitted everything at arrest - online conversations and porn for some months prior to arrest - for a convo - no photos - with a '13 year old' (still swears he didn't realise the age and given his mental health at the time I tend to believe him). Still not sure if a decoy or not but they do all seem to say they are 13 - perhaps I will find out on Monday - as well as if he has been totally honest with me.......
The charge the OIC has put forward to the CPS is online sexual communication with a minor. Like I explained he also sent x3 pictures .... the wait continues! X