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Feeling heartbroken

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Poppet

Member since
February 2025

181 posts

No-one can really help with this, but I just needed to get it written down in words and out of my head.

After my husband was arrested in early Feb for downloading and viewing IIOC, its been the rollercoaster of emotions that we've all been going through. His bail has been extended once, and will likely be extended again, bringing it to November. This trauma is mixed with resentment after 6 years of no intimacy and flimsy excuses as to why, which I feel is now explained as this situation has exposed his unhealthy porn habit/addiction. I really don't know if I can get past it all. We're still in the same house, platonically for now while we figure this out. I've said I can't have him at home once charges are brought and court becomes a reality. I have to protect myself and my business. I also have more info on sentencing guidelines, which has brought everything back into sharp focus.

His mums is the only place he can go. She has had cancer for years, which has been managed by medication, but that's no longer working, and its spreading. She's going to need him more now, so I suggested that he should start thinking about moving in with her. Not yet, but just have it in his mind, to help her, and to be away from me. He looked absolutely crushed. And now I feel heartbroken. I'm frozen in misery today, I cant seem to do anything but cry. I know its an inevitability that he'll have to go, but now I'm questioning whether I can lose him and our marriage. And then I remember it took me a year to end a past relationship because I couldn't bear hurting him. Its all so damn confusing.

Can I ask, if any of you have people that have downloaded, viewed, deleted and not stored IIOC, all categories, what sentences they were given? I know every case is different but it might help to hear what other people have been given.

Thanks for listening xx

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 12:57pm
Edited Fri May 16, 2025 8:49pmReport post

Pinkey2019

Member since
July 2022

97 posts

Hi my anise was sentenced for possession for all categories he sentence was suspended for 2 years and unpaid work and on register for 10 years and has app on his phone for 10 years .

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 1:15pmReport post

Poppet

Member since
February 2025

181 posts

Thanks Pinkey. That's the kind of sentence I'm expecting, as making is classed as possession, regardless of whether content was deleted or not. Its a harsh harsh reality that's becoming all too clear. X

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 1:19pmReport post

Pinkey2019

Member since
July 2022

97 posts

It's is very harsh honestly I was married to him only for one year and my son was only 6 months at the time my world fell apart . Do you have kids ?

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 1:24pmReport post

Poppet

Member since
February 2025

181 posts

I'm so sorry Pinkey. Its just so so unfair for us. Have you stayed together? No, we don't have kids, thankfully. X

Posted Fri May 16, 2025 1:26pmReport post

Quick exit