Finding Balance
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Hello and happy Friday everyone.
I'm doing ok.work is good, the kids are good, my husband and I are getting closer again.
I am ready to not think about this situation every waking second. It's become clear that if I want that to happen, I'm going to have to change some things.
I think I've developed an unhealthy obsession with checking this forum multiple times a day. At first, I came to not feel alone. Then I came for hope, which was rare but still every once in a while I would read a hopeful post and get some comfort. But most of the time I feel worse after checking the form then better.
I'm not ready to leave completely. This forum has got me through my darkest Days. I'd like to think that maybe I can also provide the Hope that I so desperately needed to others starting out.
Is this something other people have struggled with too? Has anyone else found balance?
I'm doing ok.work is good, the kids are good, my husband and I are getting closer again.
I am ready to not think about this situation every waking second. It's become clear that if I want that to happen, I'm going to have to change some things.
I think I've developed an unhealthy obsession with checking this forum multiple times a day. At first, I came to not feel alone. Then I came for hope, which was rare but still every once in a while I would read a hopeful post and get some comfort. But most of the time I feel worse after checking the form then better.
I'm not ready to leave completely. This forum has got me through my darkest Days. I'd like to think that maybe I can also provide the Hope that I so desperately needed to others starting out.
Is this something other people have struggled with too? Has anyone else found balance?
I ebb and flow on checking. Some days I check multiple times and sometimes I go days without checking the forum. Like you it's for various reasons. It's hard! It's a sense of control, a sense of somewhere I "belong" I read so much that resonates with me, it's hard not to drift back.
But like you I'm self aware I sometimes check too much. I don't know at the moment how to handle that, we're still in investigation stage and I'm not ready to break away.
It's hard right?
But like you I'm self aware I sometimes check too much. I don't know at the moment how to handle that, we're still in investigation stage and I'm not ready to break away.
It's hard right?
I am the same i went from daily even hourly pushing me further into depression, wanting to share more but not daring to because i feeling like people are wtaching me - the paranoia is so real, i then went from not checking it at all but nearly three years on and still living in limbo and i have found myself spiralling and feeling the need to check it in the hope there is some hope - my story has had some twists and alot of mess ups by people we should be able to trust and this is still not over x
I was glad to have found this forum in the very early days as it helped to validate my feelings and experiences and it made me feel that I wasn't so alone. I have learnt a lot.
However, almost 3 months since I joined and I rarely check the forum and post even less often. The pain, distress, confusion and anger is often palpable and I feel that I am currently managing quite well and do not want to spiral again as I find some posts very triggering.
I don't think it's possible to delete accounts on this forum? But I have deleted many of my original posts as I don't recognise the person who wrote them (in a state of shock and disbelief) and I don't want to go back to that.
However, almost 3 months since I joined and I rarely check the forum and post even less often. The pain, distress, confusion and anger is often palpable and I feel that I am currently managing quite well and do not want to spiral again as I find some posts very triggering.
I don't think it's possible to delete accounts on this forum? But I have deleted many of my original posts as I don't recognise the person who wrote them (in a state of shock and disbelief) and I don't want to go back to that.
Thank you for replying. I'm so grateful for this forum it was a lifeline when I found it. I think I need to stop thinking of it as All or nothing. Maybe I just check once a week when I can follow it up with something that makes me happy afterwards.
Totally agree, can't offer any advice as I feel I'm in a bit of an obsession stage at the moment. I check the forum daily!
I hope as time goes on it's not the case, but at the moment I find comfort in knowing others are going through the same and also that this feels like such a supportive, non-judgemental place
I hope as time goes on it's not the case, but at the moment I find comfort in knowing others are going through the same and also that this feels like such a supportive, non-judgemental place
I started reading posts on the forum soon after the arrest and quickly became obsessed with it checking it over and over again every day. At this point my anxiety was really bad and my mental health poor so I made the decision to step away from it completely. As soon as we were through sentencing I joined again and have been here ever since. I tend to check most evenings to see if there is anyone I can offer any help or support to.
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Pararie x
I can definitely resonate, in the early days I was reading posts to find hope etc , some posts I found comfort others could trigger my anxiety
As you know I did the Friday check in for a good few years , my way of just bringing some normality for us all ( despite this journey we all have to pick up the pieces and get through each day)
I now just pop in once a week and still post to offer help and support xx
Without the forum I deffinatly would have felt so isolated at the beginning but now I'm just grateful to have met so many wonderful friends xxx
I can definitely resonate, in the early days I was reading posts to find hope etc , some posts I found comfort others could trigger my anxiety
As you know I did the Friday check in for a good few years , my way of just bringing some normality for us all ( despite this journey we all have to pick up the pieces and get through each day)
I now just pop in once a week and still post to offer help and support xx
Without the forum I deffinatly would have felt so isolated at the beginning but now I'm just grateful to have met so many wonderful friends xxx