Does anyone just sit and think this time of night why oh why? We had everything .... two amazing children/good jobs/nice home and good friends and family/no financial issues/ holidays every year/good health. We now sit here in separate houses me and the kids at the family home and my husband staying at which ever family member will have him ...awaiting the CPS for my husbands online sexual communication offence with a decoy. It's another half term for the children another bank holiday! I'm trying to stay focused and be strong but this is so so hard! I'm trying to juggle work and have someone look after my children so I can physically go to work. I work until 6:30pm x4 days a week so now have to rely on family to pick the children up from school. I also work x2 weekends a month which has never been an issue but now I have to work a weekend whilst the kids have football matches ect and family have to do all of this. Although my husband is on bail and lots of restrictions he can get up when he wants go to work ect and do what he likes after without rushing about like a looney trying to juggle absolotely everything! I feel so so punished for my husband's stupid actions! Police involvement and social service involvement for his stupid actions! Just one of them days today!
My situation is slightly different because it's my 16yr old son who was 15 at time he supposed to have done something. Exactly what that is we don't know.
But at this time of night I can be sat and just starting thinking why us. How did we end up here. Everything goes through my mind. My son is now always sat downstairs with us, he plays on PlayStation, he reports people on vinted for selling same item twice, he plays Fortnite and reports hackers. And even reported violations on Snapchat.
I then start thinking how they put him in a cell and reading reports a child should not be put through that. So I worry about his mental health and how this will impact him long term.
I wake wondering will this be the day we get an update.
Currently I'm off work with stress because of all this.
But at this time of night I can be sat and just starting thinking why us. How did we end up here. Everything goes through my mind. My son is now always sat downstairs with us, he plays on PlayStation, he reports people on vinted for selling same item twice, he plays Fortnite and reports hackers. And even reported violations on Snapchat.
I then start thinking how they put him in a cell and reading reports a child should not be put through that. So I worry about his mental health and how this will impact him long term.
I wake wondering will this be the day we get an update.
Currently I'm off work with stress because of all this.
It's a world no one really knows exists until your in it! The kids keep me going so so much and keep me strong. My husbands situation has been fairly quick so far compared to some peoples on here we are only approaching x4 months since arrest and already at the CPS stage. I just can't believe how much everything has changed since Christmas! I also feel so so sad that my whole marriage has been based on one big lie!
Every. Single. Day.
You're not alone. I am in a very similar situation... holding it together with 3 small children (ages 7 and under). We had everything. My husband had one conversation with a police decoy posing as an adult. He wrote things to try and shock the person on the other end knowing it wasn't a real person. Unfortunately for him, it was mission accomplished. They found nothing else (no images, no other communications, no intention to meet, it wasn't even real to him). I am not condoning what he did. Who in their right mind does that? Idiot, idiot, idiot!
And now he has thrown everything away for all of us. Social services are involved (closed until he is sentenced). Schools/ nursery informed. He can not set foot in the family home. I feel so ashamed and humiliated. Life is a total struggle having to work and juggle 3 small children. Family are helping but it all just feels so hard. I barely have time to think about how I am feeling emotionally. Constantly putting in a brave face at work and in front of the children. This all happened at the end of March. The initial shock has gone but it all still feels completely surreal.
Goodness knows what the future may look like now. All I know is that life will never be the same and everything feels a little bit scary. Just trying to survive one day at a time and deal with things as I have to. I find if I think too much about what might be, I can spiral a bit.
Sending lots of love from one struggling mum to another xxx
You're not alone. I am in a very similar situation... holding it together with 3 small children (ages 7 and under). We had everything. My husband had one conversation with a police decoy posing as an adult. He wrote things to try and shock the person on the other end knowing it wasn't a real person. Unfortunately for him, it was mission accomplished. They found nothing else (no images, no other communications, no intention to meet, it wasn't even real to him). I am not condoning what he did. Who in their right mind does that? Idiot, idiot, idiot!
And now he has thrown everything away for all of us. Social services are involved (closed until he is sentenced). Schools/ nursery informed. He can not set foot in the family home. I feel so ashamed and humiliated. Life is a total struggle having to work and juggle 3 small children. Family are helping but it all just feels so hard. I barely have time to think about how I am feeling emotionally. Constantly putting in a brave face at work and in front of the children. This all happened at the end of March. The initial shock has gone but it all still feels completely surreal.
Goodness knows what the future may look like now. All I know is that life will never be the same and everything feels a little bit scary. Just trying to survive one day at a time and deal with things as I have to. I find if I think too much about what might be, I can spiral a bit.
Sending lots of love from one struggling mum to another xxx
Your situation sounds so so similar to mine! Apart from I believe our safety plan looks a little different to yours as my husband is aloud in the home ect as long as I am supervising contact at all times. He just isn't aloud to stay the night. I also don't know what the future looks like right now but also believe it will never be the same! From arrest my husband has been 100% honest and has admitted he has been on chat rooms for years talking to women and unfortantly came across this one person ( decoy) who said they was 13 and he continued. Nothing else has been found on his device's so it's just the one conversation but he did send x3 inappropriate photos! How stupid of him! Big hugs xxx
Honestly my answer to the Why? question is just that some men are trash - selfish, attention-seeking, sexually sick, sexually incontinent. I'm sure that's not what I'm 'meant' to say, but it's the answer for me.
Absolutely. My ex had it all. A family who loved him and I encouraged him to do a degree which took 7 years so we could get out of the benefit trap. As soon as he got the degree, he offended and I'll now be on benefits for the rest of my life. And I hate it. X
Sosad
I've just read what lead to your persons arrest. Oh my. How frustrated and disappointed you must feel. What an incredibly stupid thing to do! I'm so sorry. X
I've just read what lead to your persons arrest. Oh my. How frustrated and disappointed you must feel. What an incredibly stupid thing to do! I'm so sorry. X
Every. Single. Day, for the last 4 months. Its exhausting and I don't have children, so how everyone who do is getting through this is beyond me. You're bloomin' amazing. Xx
I haven't written much on this forum but I have read so many posts. What an incredible group of women... reading everyone's stories and replies, I am struck by how courageous, kind and supportive this community is. I am in awe of the strength of the women who are left picking up the all pieces - we just need to keep on keeping on <3
That is the question! My son had it all and by his actions lost it all.
As humans we need to hear reasons perhaps to give us peace. There are so many different reasons for this crime as we know, and sometimes - I'm sure it can be the case that the offenders don't have a black and white answer as to why they ended up on this journey.
As humans we need to hear reasons perhaps to give us peace. There are so many different reasons for this crime as we know, and sometimes - I'm sure it can be the case that the offenders don't have a black and white answer as to why they ended up on this journey.