Do you ever get over been used
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I met me person when I left college, very young niave and absolutely adored and admired him. Together 18yrs, gave up so much to constantly please him over the years as I thought that was what you did for your soul mate. although I realise now I was living with a true narcissist but ultimately he has admitted to his friend he has been interested in children since he was a teenager. (so our relationship was always a lie/cover up)
I feel like I was simply a great cover story all these years, he wanted to project to the world how he had a great normal life.
How can i ever trust myself to have a normal relationship when I've just been a cover story, I feel groomed and scared and so dam used and abused and tossed aside the moment I was no longer useful to him. I know I shouldn't be I don't feel I have anything to offer a relationship and long term probably will never have the confidence to pursue another emotional and especially a physical relationship.
I feel like I was simply a great cover story all these years, he wanted to project to the world how he had a great normal life.
How can i ever trust myself to have a normal relationship when I've just been a cover story, I feel groomed and scared and so dam used and abused and tossed aside the moment I was no longer useful to him. I know I shouldn't be I don't feel I have anything to offer a relationship and long term probably will never have the confidence to pursue another emotional and especially a physical relationship.
I know it's really hard to come to terms with my OH when I met him. Had just completed 12 months of a 24 month prison sentence and he swore to me it would never ever happen again but it did and I cannot describe how it makes you feel the hurt the pain the police turning your house upside down it is very difficult and hard to understand why they would do it
18 months down the line since the knock and I'm still trying to understand why he's done it again and get my head round it all at the end of the day I think it's something you just have to learn to live with whether you stay with them or not it really is a horrible situation and a very difficult situation that they put you in In short I don't think you ever do truly get over it. You just learnt how to deal with it and how to move on from it
have you tried ringing the helpline and talking to somebody? They're very good and very helpful and I'm sure you'll get a lot of support on this forum
sending you love x
18 months down the line since the knock and I'm still trying to understand why he's done it again and get my head round it all at the end of the day I think it's something you just have to learn to live with whether you stay with them or not it really is a horrible situation and a very difficult situation that they put you in In short I don't think you ever do truly get over it. You just learnt how to deal with it and how to move on from it
have you tried ringing the helpline and talking to somebody? They're very good and very helpful and I'm sure you'll get a lot of support on this forum
sending you love x
Hi Bondi
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You don't deserve this. You deserve much better and to be valued. What your ex has done is truly awful and on him! I think it will be useful to truly understand the dynamics of what he has done. Courses like LF one, might be helpful.
I can say that one of the most fundamental things I've had to deal with and I'm still dealing with - is the damage to my sense of self that has been caused my my husband's offending. I gave him everything and he apparently had little problem taking it for granted and betraying our family. It has profoundly shaken my trust in others and worse yet my trust in myself. It was hard acknowledging this. I'm healing from this through therapy, journalling and lots of walking.
If you're able to, I would strongly recommend therapy. I've found it very helpful in my recovery.
Take care
Hx
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You don't deserve this. You deserve much better and to be valued. What your ex has done is truly awful and on him! I think it will be useful to truly understand the dynamics of what he has done. Courses like LF one, might be helpful.
I can say that one of the most fundamental things I've had to deal with and I'm still dealing with - is the damage to my sense of self that has been caused my my husband's offending. I gave him everything and he apparently had little problem taking it for granted and betraying our family. It has profoundly shaken my trust in others and worse yet my trust in myself. It was hard acknowledging this. I'm healing from this through therapy, journalling and lots of walking.
If you're able to, I would strongly recommend therapy. I've found it very helpful in my recovery.
Take care
Hx