Plea hearing today
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I'm unexpectedly calm about this. He's got support from someone who's been through the process and I've got the day off work. I have friends lined up for the whole day, so I'm not alone if I don't want to be.
Even a couple of months ago I expected to be a wreck at this point, and almost certainly signed off work until it's all over, but honestly I'm finding work such a great distraction and source of self esteem.
I am anxious about procedural issues - whether this'll be a straightforward two-hearing job, with the end date confirmed today.
Or alternatively they'll get an adjournment for PSR before it's listed for sentencing. That's what his solicitor is recommending, and they've said the outcome may be better with sentencing in crown court. It seems v drawn out and uncertain to me but I'm very much taking the stance of 'not my circus nor my monkeys'.
My main trigger is contact with the children: I currently supervise and we have a lovely routine of 4 days a week where they spend quality time together in the evening/ weekend afternoons. The children are happy and settled and social services have closed the case following charges, on the basis that supervision continues following the safety plan. I'm very aware there's a disconnect between the likely terms of the SHPO and the restrictions placed by social services, and he's under the impression there'll be 'no restrictions around children'.
I am absolutely adamant he's not to have unsupervised access at least for the next few years. I have honestly no idea what he's capable! The disclosure over the past 366 days has told me I do not know or trust this man. He's changed and is now 'sober' but his pre-knock behaviour was so appalling I cannot envisage unsupervised contact. I also refuse to open the family up to social services scrutiny again, when they and I are in agreement about the risks. So that's where my anxiety is - rocking the boat with the children's stability.
Even a couple of months ago I expected to be a wreck at this point, and almost certainly signed off work until it's all over, but honestly I'm finding work such a great distraction and source of self esteem.
I am anxious about procedural issues - whether this'll be a straightforward two-hearing job, with the end date confirmed today.
Or alternatively they'll get an adjournment for PSR before it's listed for sentencing. That's what his solicitor is recommending, and they've said the outcome may be better with sentencing in crown court. It seems v drawn out and uncertain to me but I'm very much taking the stance of 'not my circus nor my monkeys'.
My main trigger is contact with the children: I currently supervise and we have a lovely routine of 4 days a week where they spend quality time together in the evening/ weekend afternoons. The children are happy and settled and social services have closed the case following charges, on the basis that supervision continues following the safety plan. I'm very aware there's a disconnect between the likely terms of the SHPO and the restrictions placed by social services, and he's under the impression there'll be 'no restrictions around children'.
I am absolutely adamant he's not to have unsupervised access at least for the next few years. I have honestly no idea what he's capable! The disclosure over the past 366 days has told me I do not know or trust this man. He's changed and is now 'sober' but his pre-knock behaviour was so appalling I cannot envisage unsupervised contact. I also refuse to open the family up to social services scrutiny again, when they and I are in agreement about the risks. So that's where my anxiety is - rocking the boat with the children's stability.
Work is definitely a distraction. Keep busy today. Hope the process isn't drawn out. Thinking about you and sending a hug x
Wishing you all the best. You sound like you very strongly have this man sussed, that's a good thing! X
Sounds like he was first on the list as he was all done before 11am. Next hearing is back in Magistrates court in 5 weeks ish, for either sentencing or committal to crown court. I really hope it's not another 5 weeks after that but I can live with it.
I just feel so tired now all the adrenaline and cortisol has dissipated.
I just feel so tired now all the adrenaline and cortisol has dissipated.
Glad to hear you are feeling okay and that today is done with! Pleased it went as well as it could X
Well done for being so strong, admirable! Keep going Xx
Thank you all xx
Well done on remaining calm and getting through the day. I'm pleased that round one went smoothly and that you've got an end in sight.
Well done getting through today! One step closer to getting out of this awful limbo. You seem so admirally strong and to really have your head screwed on. I am absolutely with you regarding social services. I am almost more worried about that side of things. Our case is closed until my husband is convicted (the knock came at the end of March so I fear we have a long way to go). It's wild how quickly life can change. I still have to pinch myself sometimes :(
So apparently the Hope is that it'll stay in magistrates court and sentencing will be done on the hearing date in 5 weeks' time. CPS's starting point is custodial and they're arguing the offences are 2 levels higher than defence case. So there are reasons to want to avoid Crown Court. It's all feeling rather real and scary tbh. I'm much more anxious and lost in thought than yesterday.
This really is so hard the waiting around for sentencing and thinking about what could happen. Thinking of you hope the next five weeks comes around fast for you and it gets dealt with then. X
Hope you're doing ok and the anxiety has worn off.
Sounds like your timeline is similar to mine, with the exception that SS have already expressly told us that no matter what the restrictions set at sentencing they wont allow unsupervised access and realistically I don't think the courts will allow it either. Like your family mine are settled into the new routine and my person has massively minimised what went on. He doesn't realise that there was a press article so I know what he's done. And like you the fact he could stoop so low to get into this situation in the first place has shattered any trust I had in him and the depths of deceit and lying are so out of character I don't recognise him as the same person. I understand how he got where he did and the triggers but...Now I've seen his dark side I can't forget it or risk dropping my guard. My child is too precious and so is my own peace of mind. He's already on his last chance.
Sounds like your timeline is similar to mine, with the exception that SS have already expressly told us that no matter what the restrictions set at sentencing they wont allow unsupervised access and realistically I don't think the courts will allow it either. Like your family mine are settled into the new routine and my person has massively minimised what went on. He doesn't realise that there was a press article so I know what he's done. And like you the fact he could stoop so low to get into this situation in the first place has shattered any trust I had in him and the depths of deceit and lying are so out of character I don't recognise him as the same person. I understand how he got where he did and the triggers but...Now I've seen his dark side I can't forget it or risk dropping my guard. My child is too precious and so is my own peace of mind. He's already on his last chance.