will i be informed of what’s happening?
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ex partner arrested december 2024 for sexual communication with a child. there are circumstances (long story) that do line up to it potentially not being him, and obviously part of me doesn't believe it, i've known him 8 years blah blah blah
but part of me does because wtf basically
have 2 twin toddlers together. i very rarely communicate with him because pretty much, if he has done this - i don't want to have been nice to him if that makes sense. if he has done this to a child (not a decoy) then he is dead to me.
anyway, will the police keep me updated? they've said they will and social services said they would but because they're happy with my plan (basically no contact with him, not even supervised) they discharged me at the start of february so i don't even have them as a liaison anymore. and i really do not trust the police to inform me of anything.
i hate the way this is handled. because i'm not a "victim" i am in no way shape or form allowed to know anything? it's disgsuting. we are just classed as collateral damage in this and we ARE victims! the police do not care about the families wellbeing within all of this.
but part of me does because wtf basically
have 2 twin toddlers together. i very rarely communicate with him because pretty much, if he has done this - i don't want to have been nice to him if that makes sense. if he has done this to a child (not a decoy) then he is dead to me.
anyway, will the police keep me updated? they've said they will and social services said they would but because they're happy with my plan (basically no contact with him, not even supervised) they discharged me at the start of february so i don't even have them as a liaison anymore. and i really do not trust the police to inform me of anything.
i hate the way this is handled. because i'm not a "victim" i am in no way shape or form allowed to know anything? it's disgsuting. we are just classed as collateral damage in this and we ARE victims! the police do not care about the families wellbeing within all of this.
Hi sorry about your situation, no unfortunately the police don't prioritise telling us a great deal of anything, his solicitor will be able to find out more but even then they don't have to tell you all information /: we're 2 years into a case and haven't heard anything other than "it's still been looked at"
hope you get sorted soon x
hope you get sorted soon x
Hi, because of data protection, the only way you'd be informed of anything would be if he gave the Police permission for you to be informed. The case is against him. Personally, I see no difference whatsoever between abuse of a real child and that of a decoy. The intent was there and the accused doesn't know its a decoy in the vast majority of cases therefore they think they're dealing with a child at the time of the offences. I'm really sorry he's done this to you and your family, potentially. You will be in this for the long road. Many many of these cases are taking years to get to court even if they plead guilty. If you get to the sentencing date and feel you don't know the facts, attending court on that day is a very good way to get them. Anyone can attend the sentencing and watch the case unfold with all the details and then the sentencing. Wishing you all the very best. X
Littlerobbin
The difference is a child wouldn't necessarily be looking for anything (the male would be looking for the child and convincing them to interact)
A decoy physicaly looks for it then plays on people's mental health problems to force them into situations they wouldn't usually put themselves into..I've seen the disclosure at first contact my person knew the age so he pulled back but unfortunately still engaged in harmless conversation the decoy wasn't interested in the harmless conversation so badly replied right up until his mental health was bought into the conversation how mentally his still a child (bad childhood wasn't bought up after his mom past away his dad basically put a leash around him and never let him grow up) about how his lonely (my person is my ex husband) so on top of all his mental health problems we divorced he fell even deeper into depression and lonleynes)
So after the decoy learned about his mental health problems they was suddenly intreasted and pulled him in (I'm not saying he didn't do anything wrong if he was stronger he should have just ended things here and he knows this but we are were we are)
So once the decoy learned all this they were suddenly intreasted asking for photos of him saying they liked him pulling him into a conversation he wouldn't have usually done.
Decoys prey on the weak I'm not saying they don't catch real dangerous people becouse they probably do.
I'm saying there used incorrectly there used to get there crime rap sheets up and manage to catch some dangerous people in the process but the weak are the vast majority of the people they prey on.
So the difference between a decoys are dangerous.
Decoys make criminals out of mentally ill men mostly but some woman also.
Just to clarify one last time I'm not in any means saying that mentally ill people should be let off for it.they still interacted with a child/decoy and still need to face the consequences of there actions and my person says this to me all the time (he knows he wouldn't have done this with a real child)
The truth is the police can't cath the real dangerous criminals so they have to make one's out of the weak just to make them look good in the papers and keep the public satisfied.
Sorry about the long post
The difference is a child wouldn't necessarily be looking for anything (the male would be looking for the child and convincing them to interact)
A decoy physicaly looks for it then plays on people's mental health problems to force them into situations they wouldn't usually put themselves into..I've seen the disclosure at first contact my person knew the age so he pulled back but unfortunately still engaged in harmless conversation the decoy wasn't interested in the harmless conversation so badly replied right up until his mental health was bought into the conversation how mentally his still a child (bad childhood wasn't bought up after his mom past away his dad basically put a leash around him and never let him grow up) about how his lonely (my person is my ex husband) so on top of all his mental health problems we divorced he fell even deeper into depression and lonleynes)
So after the decoy learned about his mental health problems they was suddenly intreasted and pulled him in (I'm not saying he didn't do anything wrong if he was stronger he should have just ended things here and he knows this but we are were we are)
So once the decoy learned all this they were suddenly intreasted asking for photos of him saying they liked him pulling him into a conversation he wouldn't have usually done.
Decoys prey on the weak I'm not saying they don't catch real dangerous people becouse they probably do.
I'm saying there used incorrectly there used to get there crime rap sheets up and manage to catch some dangerous people in the process but the weak are the vast majority of the people they prey on.
So the difference between a decoys are dangerous.
Decoys make criminals out of mentally ill men mostly but some woman also.
Just to clarify one last time I'm not in any means saying that mentally ill people should be let off for it.they still interacted with a child/decoy and still need to face the consequences of there actions and my person says this to me all the time (he knows he wouldn't have done this with a real child)
The truth is the police can't cath the real dangerous criminals so they have to make one's out of the weak just to make them look good in the papers and keep the public satisfied.
Sorry about the long post
What sort of decoys? You're not talking about Police decoys are you? They aren't allowed to entrap. Other decoys are a law unto themselves.
Littlerobbin
It was a police decoy and the conversation between then was exactly how I seen it..
I won't get started on vigilante groups there just a bunch of thugs beating mentally challenged men.
And the police do nothing because there stats are rising
It was a police decoy and the conversation between then was exactly how I seen it..
I won't get started on vigilante groups there just a bunch of thugs beating mentally challenged men.
And the police do nothing because there stats are rising