Unbelievably and uncontrollably sad
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Hi,
no real point to this post. Just, I'm at my very saddest right now. 8 months post knock for my person. Learnt a lot, done the courses, nothing happened since knock. Just feel so so so sad, the tears started a few hours ago and I can't stop them.
I miss my person, I'm heartbroken he isn't a part of really important stuff with our family. That I can't just see him for bits like I used to...a cup of coffee, help with my car, just a bit of company. I have a little one and we just aren't allowed, SS have been so awful. I'm bitter and resentful of others and how easy they have it. I just don't know who I am anymore, this process has changed me beyond belief. I don't know how I'm still standing really.
just wanted somewhere to put this. I can't really talk to anyone
no real point to this post. Just, I'm at my very saddest right now. 8 months post knock for my person. Learnt a lot, done the courses, nothing happened since knock. Just feel so so so sad, the tears started a few hours ago and I can't stop them.
I miss my person, I'm heartbroken he isn't a part of really important stuff with our family. That I can't just see him for bits like I used to...a cup of coffee, help with my car, just a bit of company. I have a little one and we just aren't allowed, SS have been so awful. I'm bitter and resentful of others and how easy they have it. I just don't know who I am anymore, this process has changed me beyond belief. I don't know how I'm still standing really.
just wanted somewhere to put this. I can't really talk to anyone
I don't have any magic words of advice or comfort but just wanted to send you a hug and remind you that it's ok to be sad and to miss your OH. Despite their offences they were our favourite people once and that doesn't just disappear. It's ok to grieve for the life you had and could have and may or may not continue to have. It's part of the process. You're doing great just being able to share on here xxx
It's heart breaking isn't it?
I don't have anything to advise or recommend- what you wrote sums up how I feel completely too. We just have to take it one step at a time. One day at a time. Manage that grief the best we can.
Have you got the opportunity to see a professional (counsellor, therapist) at all? Mine has SAVED me.
its shit having to be strong- you shouldn't have to be- but you can do it.
I don't have anything to advise or recommend- what you wrote sums up how I feel completely too. We just have to take it one step at a time. One day at a time. Manage that grief the best we can.
Have you got the opportunity to see a professional (counsellor, therapist) at all? Mine has SAVED me.
its shit having to be strong- you shouldn't have to be- but you can do it.
I felt like you did - to the point where I considered taking my own life.
I'm now 3 years down the line and when I look back I can't believe what I went through and how I felt. Sometimes it feels like a different person but I have to say my life is now divided between my life before the knock and my life afterwards.
I grieved for the life I had lost and thought I'd never be happy again.
I'm still on the rollercoaster but it has now slowed down and not so much up and down.
Just the marital home to sell and then a divorce. A whole new fresh start in front of me. I will admit I'm a bit scared but it will be an adventure. To top it off I've found love again - I certainly wasn't looking for it but he is a lovely bloke and a total relief to live a life without lies.
Hang in there. It takes a long time but there will be light at the end of the tunnel whichever direction you choose
I'm now 3 years down the line and when I look back I can't believe what I went through and how I felt. Sometimes it feels like a different person but I have to say my life is now divided between my life before the knock and my life afterwards.
I grieved for the life I had lost and thought I'd never be happy again.
I'm still on the rollercoaster but it has now slowed down and not so much up and down.
Just the marital home to sell and then a divorce. A whole new fresh start in front of me. I will admit I'm a bit scared but it will be an adventure. To top it off I've found love again - I certainly wasn't looking for it but he is a lovely bloke and a total relief to live a life without lies.
Hang in there. It takes a long time but there will be light at the end of the tunnel whichever direction you choose
I think that is what chokes me up the most. Looking at my 3 young children and thinking how things should have been vs how things are. I feel heartbroken for me but completely devastated for them and the future they should have had. It's all so hard :(