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Never in a million years did I think I would be turning to a forum like this. It's my ex partner who was exposed by a vigilante group on Facebook after communicating online with one of their decoys posing as a child. I had no idea he was capable of anything like this and it's come as a huge shock.
We'd already cut contact due to his lies (not about anything like this) and I'm finding this the hardest part - not knowing what's going on because he's (thankfully) not in my life anymore and yet still caring about him and not wanting him to try to harm himself. I've sent him a message but I assume the police will have his devices. Does anyone know whether he will be allowed to access emails?
I'm just reeling. Wondering whether he was messaging others online all the while he was telling me he loved me and would never try to replace me. Only a few weeks later he was sexually messaging who he thought was a teenage boy! Some of the things he was accused of in the vigilante video sound so similar to the types of messages he sent me and it makes me feel like I was also one of his victims even though I'm an adult.
Really confused and feeling all the emotions right now. I assumed it would be all over the press by now, but it isn't, but am also thrown by reading here about how long it could be before the police take any action. Trying to work out how best I move on when I have so many questions and no way to get answers.
We'd already cut contact due to his lies (not about anything like this) and I'm finding this the hardest part - not knowing what's going on because he's (thankfully) not in my life anymore and yet still caring about him and not wanting him to try to harm himself. I've sent him a message but I assume the police will have his devices. Does anyone know whether he will be allowed to access emails?
I'm just reeling. Wondering whether he was messaging others online all the while he was telling me he loved me and would never try to replace me. Only a few weeks later he was sexually messaging who he thought was a teenage boy! Some of the things he was accused of in the vigilante video sound so similar to the types of messages he sent me and it makes me feel like I was also one of his victims even though I'm an adult.
Really confused and feeling all the emotions right now. I assumed it would be all over the press by now, but it isn't, but am also thrown by reading here about how long it could be before the police take any action. Trying to work out how best I move on when I have so many questions and no way to get answers.
I feel like I'm going insane. I can't stop thinking about it and I want to interrogate him and ask all the questions I have. I've called but assume he won't have access to his devices.
Firstly I'm so sorry this has happened to you. While he won't have his devices, he should still have be able to log onto his email account. But as someone who desparately wanted answers in the early days, I think it might be worth trying to accept that perhaps there are no solid answers. Anything he tells you may or may not be true (especially if he has already lied to you repeatedly), and you may never really know, even after the investigation concludes. I've done plenty of interrogating, and in many ways feel none the wiser, as who knows whats a lie and what isn't. The investigation outcome will eventually tell you what, but not why, if that makes sense. I guess seeing as you are already NC, I would think really really carefully before trying to get in touch.
Thanks for replying. That's interesting then that he might be able to access emails. I have sent one, mostly because I was worried that he might hurt himself.
You are right about being careful about contact. I know I need to move on and I am cursing him that I am back in the headspace that I was in when in the relationship - constantly second guessing and trying to make sense of his actions. This is so much worse than anything that went before. It will never make sense will it?
You are right about being careful about contact. I know I need to move on and I am cursing him that I am back in the headspace that I was in when in the relationship - constantly second guessing and trying to make sense of his actions. This is so much worse than anything that went before. It will never make sense will it?
Hi, I'm sorry you find yourself here.
I've just been though all this for the second time.
Feel free to ask any questions or offload here. It's a safe and supportive place. Lucy Faithful run an online course called "inform" for partners/family members and it goes into all the legal stuff etc. It might be of use to you. X
I've just been though all this for the second time.
Feel free to ask any questions or offload here. It's a safe and supportive place. Lucy Faithful run an online course called "inform" for partners/family members and it goes into all the legal stuff etc. It might be of use to you. X