Family and Friends Forum

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

53 posts

In our meeting before action letter it says that I allowed sleepovers at the house knowing what my husband had done (he doesn't live with us, visits for dinner but wouldn't fome when other children where here) I asked if she could have a sleepover he said not unless I told the parents of the situation. I didn't want to share so she didn't have one.
they also said he's been attending family holidays again this didn't happen. I asked about a 2 night stay somewhere staying in different hotels. was told they couldn't stop it but wouldn't advise it so we didn't go.


I asked daughters new social worker about these inaccuracies and she told me, oh it's just the way it's worded. Sounds fishy to me, doesn't sound like wrong wording at all, or is it just me?
Sorry for waffling again, we have the meeting on Thursday and I'm crapping myself. Just trying to get in my head what I can complain about without them turning it around and making it my fault x

Posted Mon June 9, 2025 1:11pmReport post

Upset mother

Member since
March 2025

121 posts

I was going to message you as I've thinking about when your PLO meeting is. Share all these concerns with your solicitor. In the PLO meeting they will go through each concern- make sure you clarify that its a mistake and hopefully your solicitor will speak up aswell :)

Posted Mon June 9, 2025 1:57pmReport post

sadso

Member since
December 2023

142 posts

I wouldn't accept that im sorry , i would want it worded and noted that these things did not go ahead and keep every ounc of correspondence you send or receive every email every message everything x

Posted Mon June 9, 2025 2:29pmReport post

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

549 posts

Hi!

We have had experience where, because our son asked about the actual expectations of his conditions concerning where he could stay overnight which were very vague as written in his bail conditions ie he wondered if he could sleep in the summer house in our garden or in a tent, he was accused of being likely to break the conditions. This was the police, not SS. It seems as if he couldn't win - by being super vigilant about everything because he didn't want to get something wrong, he was accused of being likely to actually get something wrong! Your situation sounds similar to ours and it's ridiculous. Wouldn't they rather you kept on the right side of any expectations? Surely that's a no brainer but at times it feels like the opposite. I would firstly assure them firmly that you haven't had that holiday and any other misrepresenations and then point out to them that you have asked about things so that you get it 100% right for safeguarding purposes and to show you are working alongside SS and NOT because you are considering doing something wrong. That will highlight how silly their assumptions are and avoid you having to accuse them of careless incompetence writing up their notes or worse, outright lying. Sorry you have this additional headache.

And I would write this in an email rather than just a conversation so you have a paper trail.

Posted Mon June 9, 2025 5:40pm
Edited Mon June 9, 2025 5:47pmReport post

Kit953

Member since
January 2025

5 posts

No it's not you. Like the others, I would also follow up with written correspondence to confirm and request that it is changed. We had inaccuracies on a SS report years ago and I ensured it was changed as I didn't want any misunderstandings when read by another party. X

Posted Mon June 9, 2025 5:58pmReport post

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

53 posts

Thanks guys.
The social worker has said I can bring it all up in the meeting before action. I will tell them then that I'm not signing anything till it's changed as by signing it, it means I'm agreeing to what they said.

Posted Mon June 9, 2025 7:32pmReport post

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

401 posts

Hi Livvy,

If you can, I would re-write the letter yourself with the accurate information. Trying to present verbally in these meetings can be very challenging and you will do yourself a favour by having it written out in advance and being able to read from it.

It also demonstrates your understanding of the genuine risks and that you are only challenging the inaccuracies

Best of luck

Posted Tue June 10, 2025 12:57pmReport post

Upset mother

Member since
March 2025

121 posts

Good Luck today, hope the meeting went ok xx

Posted Thu June 12, 2025 1:15pmReport post

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

53 posts

Thank you!

The meeting itself was ok, solicitor was great. The fallout at work today not so great.
I was told because things were being escalated they were advised by LADO, I would have to let my manager know. I told him this morning, but apparently safeguarding need more info, so I've been sent home full pay till next week. I'm absolutely heart broken, I do moan but I love my job. Wondering whether to tell the solicitor, can't stop crying at the moment. Boss is hopefully I'll be back for next Friday shift but have to wait till Tuesday till he hears from them

Posted Fri June 13, 2025 2:27pmReport post

Upset mother

Member since
March 2025

121 posts

Is this because you work with children? I've never hearfd of LADO, not sure what that is. What do you have to do as part of the PLO process? Hope your ok xx

Posted Fri June 13, 2025 3:18pmReport post

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

53 posts

With work I can come into contact with children. Local authority designated officer. Don' t really know to much about them
Im gutted ????

Posted Fri June 13, 2025 3:36pmReport post

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

53 posts

They wanted to sign a written agreement that husband wouldn't come to house when daughter was here and would only have supervised contact via my mum. Until the risk assessment came through then they would review. Solicitor advised not to sign and asked for things to stay as they were until the assessment as results due in 2 weeks. They were going to speak to legal and get back to us but haven't done yet.

Posted Fri June 13, 2025 3:42pmReport post

Livvy

Member since
February 2022

53 posts

They wanted to sign a written agreement that husband wouldn't come to house when daughter was here and would only have supervised contact via my mum. Until the risk assessment came through then they would review. Solicitor advised not to sign and asked for things to stay as they were until the assessment as results due in 2 weeks. They were going to speak to legal and get back to us but haven't done yet.

Posted Fri June 13, 2025 3:42pmReport post

Quick exit