Stress impact on my job!
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So I'm currently off sick with stress relating to this and my 16yr old son. I've been off 4 weeks, the initial time off was recommended by my manager I work in healthcare. So I've triggered the 4 week review. My manager as the basic details of what I'm going through but this meeting will also have HR there and I don't want to tell them.
I'm stressing because only started last September in my dream job that I worked so hard for. I know they just want to check when I'm going back (I planned next week).
The thing is I've had 4 weeks off, I feel no different, I need my job. I actually love my new career. But the point is even phased return or whatever isn't going to make a difference until this with my son is sorted. The only positive for the next few month is he's no college so don't have to worry about how the situation is impacting his A levels.
None of us ask to be here but this is another example how the whole family is impacted in all of this and without choice.
Just needed to sound off and get this off my chest.
I'm stressing because only started last September in my dream job that I worked so hard for. I know they just want to check when I'm going back (I planned next week).
The thing is I've had 4 weeks off, I feel no different, I need my job. I actually love my new career. But the point is even phased return or whatever isn't going to make a difference until this with my son is sorted. The only positive for the next few month is he's no college so don't have to worry about how the situation is impacting his A levels.
None of us ask to be here but this is another example how the whole family is impacted in all of this and without choice.
Just needed to sound off and get this off my chest.
Hi Adjust,
I really feel for you but here is my experience in terms of my own work situation.
I have been off sick since February. I work in Healthcare on a really busy Chemotherapy Unit so have a mega stressful job. I actually didn't plan on being off since for the last 3 yrs since Vigilantes stung my autistic son I have soldiered on, don't know how but it was so hard. When he was charged in Early Feb this year, my head just snapped and I crumbled .
Since he was charged and things are now moving on, I am so bogged down with assessments/solicitors, Court etc that I just come around to thinking about a phased return and I crumble again.
My Manager has been fantastic, she knows everything and although she consults and updates HR, I have not yet had to speak to them. She is in no way pressurising me to return and I know my pay will drop soon but I have come to the conclusion that I just need to support my Son and go back when I can.
Only a few people at work know who I totally trust but when it's all over and I am mentally stronger I hope I can deal calmly with it all and not dissolve into tears which I do now.
Dont let them pressure you into anything, you and your son come first. Remember, it is very hard to get dismissed from your job but it is too easy and tempting to return too soon - just to get them off your back !
Get someone to email you a copy of the sickness policy at work. You will be classed as Long Term Sick after 4 weeks sick leave so the terms are different to short term sickness.
Non of the above is to say I don't feel guilty being off, I do , I would feel a million times worse if I caused harm to a patient.
Good luck with it all - it's such a hard road x
I really feel for you but here is my experience in terms of my own work situation.
I have been off sick since February. I work in Healthcare on a really busy Chemotherapy Unit so have a mega stressful job. I actually didn't plan on being off since for the last 3 yrs since Vigilantes stung my autistic son I have soldiered on, don't know how but it was so hard. When he was charged in Early Feb this year, my head just snapped and I crumbled .
Since he was charged and things are now moving on, I am so bogged down with assessments/solicitors, Court etc that I just come around to thinking about a phased return and I crumble again.
My Manager has been fantastic, she knows everything and although she consults and updates HR, I have not yet had to speak to them. She is in no way pressurising me to return and I know my pay will drop soon but I have come to the conclusion that I just need to support my Son and go back when I can.
Only a few people at work know who I totally trust but when it's all over and I am mentally stronger I hope I can deal calmly with it all and not dissolve into tears which I do now.
Dont let them pressure you into anything, you and your son come first. Remember, it is very hard to get dismissed from your job but it is too easy and tempting to return too soon - just to get them off your back !
Get someone to email you a copy of the sickness policy at work. You will be classed as Long Term Sick after 4 weeks sick leave so the terms are different to short term sickness.
Non of the above is to say I don't feel guilty being off, I do , I would feel a million times worse if I caused harm to a patient.
Good luck with it all - it's such a hard road x
I took just 2 days off and went back to work. Work kept me sane no matter how bad I felt inside. I'm not sure I would have got through it without work and my colleagues. My boss is ex police and he guessed what had happened so knew from the start. Not sure I could have stayed at home wallowing in my own misery.
But everyone is different.
But everyone is different.
Positive response from work and even recommended not to go back yet because would be due back for 4 days and then annual leave.
Agree everyone is different and it was starting to impact my clinical judgement at work. I guess in my role their is also that risk of impact on the people I'm caring for.
At least having the support of work is a positive.
Agree everyone is different and it was starting to impact my clinical judgement at work. I guess in my role their is also that risk of impact on the people I'm caring for.
At least having the support of work is a positive.
Only you can decide if you have the mental capacity to work safely, I do think the longer you are off work, the more challenging it can be to return and the more help and support you may need to do so.
I self referred to occupational health very early on in my journey. The advisor I turned to for support was a mental health specialist, and was the first person to tell me 'its far more common than you realise'.
I was fortunate in that I managed to remain at work for most of the months it took between arrest and sentencing but was eventually forced to take sick leave following urgent surgery which meant I was off sick the weeks of both court appearances. By the time I was well enough to return to work, the case had hit the media and work colleges knew what my son had done. To support me in my return I reached out again to the occupational health advisor who talked me through my return, accompanied me to the department and stayed with me until I felt safe for him to leave.
I'm pleased you've had a positive response from work and that you feel supported. The reason I shared my experience of occupational health with you, is simply to let you know there may be similar support in your workplace that you could reach out to when you feel ready to consider what a return may look like.
I self referred to occupational health very early on in my journey. The advisor I turned to for support was a mental health specialist, and was the first person to tell me 'its far more common than you realise'.
I was fortunate in that I managed to remain at work for most of the months it took between arrest and sentencing but was eventually forced to take sick leave following urgent surgery which meant I was off sick the weeks of both court appearances. By the time I was well enough to return to work, the case had hit the media and work colleges knew what my son had done. To support me in my return I reached out again to the occupational health advisor who talked me through my return, accompanied me to the department and stayed with me until I felt safe for him to leave.
I'm pleased you've had a positive response from work and that you feel supported. The reason I shared my experience of occupational health with you, is simply to let you know there may be similar support in your workplace that you could reach out to when you feel ready to consider what a return may look like.
There are no prizes for soldiering on. I had 6 months off after my husband's arrest, it was absolutely harrowing and I'm a lawyer. I couldn't think straight until he'd moved out and I'd got my medication right. Since then I've been consistently ok and am enjoying work.
i think if you're in a clinical role you have to take a step back and ask yourself if you're 'with it' enough to be safe. Once your brain starts screaming at you that you need a break, I think you have to listen to it. Don't feel any shame or guilt. You are being safe and sensible and will come back stronger later xx
i think if you're in a clinical role you have to take a step back and ask yourself if you're 'with it' enough to be safe. Once your brain starts screaming at you that you need a break, I think you have to listen to it. Don't feel any shame or guilt. You are being safe and sensible and will come back stronger later xx
I suppose in a way I was lucky. The day of the knock I'd already let my manager know I would be trying to get a gp appointment as my asthma was playing up. I then went on the sick for 3 weeks, then my maternity leave started.
100% not the way I'd planned my leave but it's a lot easier without the questions. my manager and colleagues just know OH and I no longer live together and they assume he cheated. Got a while before I return and I know that's going to be stressful having to sort childcare single handedly and returning and having to lie.
100% not the way I'd planned my leave but it's a lot easier without the questions. my manager and colleagues just know OH and I no longer live together and they assume he cheated. Got a while before I return and I know that's going to be stressful having to sort childcare single handedly and returning and having to lie.