Huge difference between now & 8 years ago (prison)
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My ex went to prison last Friday for the second time.
This time has so far been such a different experience.
Last time, 8 years ago, my family and I were flailing around in the dark. There was no information out there that was easily available. The online guides about individual prisons that are there now, weren't there before.
Last time it took weeks to hear from him. This time I had a 2 minute call on the day of sentencing. Then the prison phoned me 4 days later to add me to his telephone list and I got a call from him yesterday where we had enough time to say what needed to be said.
The other huge difference is that this time he's allowed to phone me! Last time he wasn't allowed to phone me or our two youngest as they were under 18. This meant we had to reply on "email a prisoner" service which is expensive and took about a week to get to him. Its was a complete nightmare.
This time I'll be using "prisoner voicemail " which costs £10 a month for 100 minutes. I don't know why but it made me chuckle to learn that there's a phone in his cell. I simply didn't think prisons do anything to make prisoners lives more bearable but that's not why it's there. It makes prison officers lives more bearable.
I'm not going to be able to visit him this time. It's too much and the journey isn't doable for me as I'm disabled.
Prison life is another world.
This time has so far been such a different experience.
Last time, 8 years ago, my family and I were flailing around in the dark. There was no information out there that was easily available. The online guides about individual prisons that are there now, weren't there before.
Last time it took weeks to hear from him. This time I had a 2 minute call on the day of sentencing. Then the prison phoned me 4 days later to add me to his telephone list and I got a call from him yesterday where we had enough time to say what needed to be said.
The other huge difference is that this time he's allowed to phone me! Last time he wasn't allowed to phone me or our two youngest as they were under 18. This meant we had to reply on "email a prisoner" service which is expensive and took about a week to get to him. Its was a complete nightmare.
This time I'll be using "prisoner voicemail " which costs £10 a month for 100 minutes. I don't know why but it made me chuckle to learn that there's a phone in his cell. I simply didn't think prisons do anything to make prisoners lives more bearable but that's not why it's there. It makes prison officers lives more bearable.
I'm not going to be able to visit him this time. It's too much and the journey isn't doable for me as I'm disabled.
Prison life is another world.
Yes (in my opinion) the way prisoners are treated is improving - although I can only speak of sex offender/training only prisons.
They are encouraged to work and learn - which in my opinion is how it should be especially for those with a strong desire to rehabilitate.
i think being restricted and incarcerated, the shame of what they've done, friends and family lost - is the punishment element. Officers some good / some with an 'edge' treat you with respect if you behave.
My son is in a shared cell nowadays with loo/shower plus a cell phone. He has a job, on education and soon starting a rehabilitation course, so kept very busy.
leaving them locked up to rot is no answer - these men will eventually go back in the community and the prison support network is critical not only for them but us as well.
They are encouraged to work and learn - which in my opinion is how it should be especially for those with a strong desire to rehabilitate.
i think being restricted and incarcerated, the shame of what they've done, friends and family lost - is the punishment element. Officers some good / some with an 'edge' treat you with respect if you behave.
My son is in a shared cell nowadays with loo/shower plus a cell phone. He has a job, on education and soon starting a rehabilitation course, so kept very busy.
leaving them locked up to rot is no answer - these men will eventually go back in the community and the prison support network is critical not only for them but us as well.
So far he's locked up 23 hours a day. Today he'd being moved to another prison. Last time, there were no courses or education for him. He has a first class degree. In "our" experience, the shorter the sentence the less that happens for the prisoner but we'll see. Last time he became a "listener" and prevented at least 2 suicides.
Goodness me that's a long time locked up, disgusting..... my son is motoring towards application for parole so I think that's why he's being offered more.
is that a sex offender prison or a normal one?
is that a sex offender prison or a normal one?
It's a normal one. He'll be there about 11 months.
Curious LittleRobin: how is his relationship with the kids now that they're adults, seeing as he was prohibited from any and all contact with them? On that note, can't help but feel he got a VERY harsh judge (unless there's missing context to his first offence)
That's too complicated to answer here, however my youngest was affected the most and they are 20 now and they're the one that's affected the most again. They are Autustic with severe ME. The first time round it affected all my children, 2 younger and 2 over 18, very badly. The over 18's could freely visit and communicate with him which of course left the younger 2, especially the youngest really struggling. I went through several months of trying to get my youngest through bed times with hours of crying wanting they're Daddy. I really didn't think my ex would put us through it all again but here we are. This time my youngest is free to communicate with his Dad but he's too traumatised to. My ex has completely destroyed this family and he knows it. He knows he's extremely fortunate to have myself and two of the children still "speaking" to him.
Some do go to prison for a first offence. Then it's just inevitable if they reoffend.