1 year on still struggling
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Hi all it's been one year since sentencing. 16 weeks suspended for 2 years, 5 years SHPO and 7 on the register all for one word. There have been a few ups in the last year but the biggest set back is employment my person has been successful 2 times at interview for good jobs, he has been honest about conviction and explained the background to the interviewer and at the last minute HR have refused the companies are listed as friendly employers to convictions. He was supposed to start a new job Monday we were so excited a new beginning but all lost. I feel lost myself robbed of happiness and stability. He has spiraled into depression and I feel I have too. I fear no one will give him a chance and can't see this ever resolving... any advice would be much appreciated. The interviewer even apologiesed and said when does the punishment end but HR said they couldn't take such a risk... how is anyone supposed to turn their life around to work towards better with this stigma. He's capable of work and wants to work it seems impossible. Thanks for reading x
I am so saddened to read this my oh and i were just talking about this the other day we are conviction spent but can't get it off of Google and someone from previous job where he had media attention started same place now he spiralled had a chat with the guy and he was fine but he feels very vulnerable now, this all boils down to the fact this is a blanket crime with a huge stigma your classed the same regardless.
I hope you find some light soon x
I hope you find some light soon x
I'm so sorry to hear this, I wish you both all the best with finding a job and being able to rebuild your lives!
can I ask what he was charged with when you say 1 word? Thank you xx
can I ask what he was charged with when you say 1 word? Thank you xx
Thanks for your comments, it’s all just knocked me over. inteormoil if it counts for anything small I don’t believe anything I read online anymore and hope your oh is doing well. The stigma for us keeps coming from the DBS check.
Whyhasthishappened yes of course: he downloaded Snapchat to flirt with adult women he downloaded about 30 accounts of suggested adult women on a feature called quick adds and this is where he encountered the police decoy account all in the space of a week. He sent messages out to all accounts ‘what’s everyone up to’ and when he got a response he told everyone who responded including the decoy that he was in the shower stroking. So he’s been done on the word stroking. As it’s for sexual gratification. It gets worst for me as he was doing this behind my back he was deleting the app and did not delete the decoy account. Nothing was found on his phone no nude picture of him no nudes sent or requested so it’s all a bit extreme for me. I also spoke with this investigating officer to clarify this account and have gone through all the evidence but yes he admitted he said the word but it was not directed but because he typed it that was enough…
Whyhasthishappened yes of course: he downloaded Snapchat to flirt with adult women he downloaded about 30 accounts of suggested adult women on a feature called quick adds and this is where he encountered the police decoy account all in the space of a week. He sent messages out to all accounts ‘what’s everyone up to’ and when he got a response he told everyone who responded including the decoy that he was in the shower stroking. So he’s been done on the word stroking. As it’s for sexual gratification. It gets worst for me as he was doing this behind my back he was deleting the app and did not delete the decoy account. Nothing was found on his phone no nude picture of him no nudes sent or requested so it’s all a bit extreme for me. I also spoke with this investigating officer to clarify this account and have gone through all the evidence but yes he admitted he said the word but it was not directed but because he typed it that was enough…
Oh bless you, it's heartbreaking when they're doing this behind your back! The person you thought you could trust and had your back.
im in a very similar situation so I completely understand your pain!
Can I ask what the actual charge was, was it sexual communication?
men can be so stupid sometimes! I don't understand it! Xx
im in a very similar situation so I completely understand your pain!
Can I ask what the actual charge was, was it sexual communication?
men can be so stupid sometimes! I don't understand it! Xx
I'm so sorry you and your person are struggling with employment. Sadly my son has had similar experiences so I don't have any useful advice to share with you. My son actually started work in a job he really felt he'd be happy in. Within few days he was called to the office and dismissed as they said that they couldn't trust him due to the nature of his conviction.
If only employers could see past the conviction and realise that our people have a lot to offer their workplaces and businesses.
If only employers could see past the conviction and realise that our people have a lot to offer their workplaces and businesses.
Whyhasthishappened: yes of course it is one count of attempting to engage in sexual communication with a child. it states on all the paperwork negative for phone search and history meaning it came back clean.
Ocean than you for commenting and relating to my situation, it's knocked me back bringing a wave of negativity. it really does feel like a life sentence. I hope the best for your son and he settles into something soon x
Ocean than you for commenting and relating to my situation, it's knocked me back bringing a wave of negativity. it really does feel like a life sentence. I hope the best for your son and he settles into something soon x