Friday/weekend check in
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A bit early but hope you're all doing ok? Not much to report from me. I've felt completely flat and low all week.
Plan is to keep myself very busy over the weekend. Hoping my mood shifts a little.
Thinking of you all x
Plan is to keep myself very busy over the weekend. Hoping my mood shifts a little.
Thinking of you all x
Hi Starr, I hope you have a better weekend and you can go into the new week in a more positive frame of mind.
What a week I've had. I finally told my parents what's been happening. They knew our marriage was in trouble but I wouldn't tell them why. Then after I couldnt be doing with my dad asking if I was trying to work on it, I told them my idiot husband is in trouble with the police. And finally, after comments of "we all make mstakes", and deciding that I'm going to seperate from my husband, I told them the whole story last Sunday. They were stunned and upset to say the least. And telling them adds a sense of finality to my decision. They'd stand by me whatever I decided, but if i decided to stay in my marriage their relationship with him would be really difficult, and I'm not going through life dealing with that due to his stupidity. They've been so supportive towards me, and have listened to all that I've learnt through research and the Inform course, and not jumped to immediately labelling him as a pedophile, as I thought they might do. They've even paid off a debt I had that's prevented me from sorting out my mortgage. So I'll be able to do that soon, and know that they'll offer to help financially should I need it. Its a bit of pressure off, and I'm so thankful.
Meanwhile, I'm working all weekend. I'm self employed and really behind because I've been so unfocused and distracted. Plus, it means I can avoid idiot husband!
Wishing you all a good weekend, or at least not a rubbish one!
What a week I've had. I finally told my parents what's been happening. They knew our marriage was in trouble but I wouldn't tell them why. Then after I couldnt be doing with my dad asking if I was trying to work on it, I told them my idiot husband is in trouble with the police. And finally, after comments of "we all make mstakes", and deciding that I'm going to seperate from my husband, I told them the whole story last Sunday. They were stunned and upset to say the least. And telling them adds a sense of finality to my decision. They'd stand by me whatever I decided, but if i decided to stay in my marriage their relationship with him would be really difficult, and I'm not going through life dealing with that due to his stupidity. They've been so supportive towards me, and have listened to all that I've learnt through research and the Inform course, and not jumped to immediately labelling him as a pedophile, as I thought they might do. They've even paid off a debt I had that's prevented me from sorting out my mortgage. So I'll be able to do that soon, and know that they'll offer to help financially should I need it. Its a bit of pressure off, and I'm so thankful.
Meanwhile, I'm working all weekend. I'm self employed and really behind because I've been so unfocused and distracted. Plus, it means I can avoid idiot husband!
Wishing you all a good weekend, or at least not a rubbish one!
Hello, Friday check-in,
I'm doing okay. Took my kids out for an ice cream cone last night and had a really nice time visiting with them. The weather has been beautiful so I'm starting to think it might be time for a trip to the beach.
Tomorrow there is a family day at the prison. The last one was at Easter, this one is an indigenous theme with drumming and dancing and food.
The house is a mess but the last thing I want to do right now is clean. Think I'll just do the bare minimum this week.
I'm doing okay. Took my kids out for an ice cream cone last night and had a really nice time visiting with them. The weather has been beautiful so I'm starting to think it might be time for a trip to the beach.
Tomorrow there is a family day at the prison. The last one was at Easter, this one is an indigenous theme with drumming and dancing and food.
The house is a mess but the last thing I want to do right now is clean. Think I'll just do the bare minimum this week.
I've been pootling along doing ok for weeks, probably blocking stuff out but I did my 10 year old's crazy birthday party and sleepover, huge work things, sports day, coming off the Mirtazapine, all ok, call from husband's MOSOVO at 8am on Sunday, dealing with husband's fears and worries, surviving.... I was actually boosted by the MOSOVO telling my husband he wouldn't be getting unsupervised contact as it meant I'm no longer solely responsible for maintaining that clear stance
Then my husband's (hopefully sentencing) hearing got adjourned yesterday, from 10th July to who-knows-when. Probation officer who's writing the PSR has got annual leave and asked for a week's adjournment but who knows. I don't blame anyone, they're desperately underfunded etc
So now my finish line has disappeared, and all the stuff I'd been carrying and coping with is suddenly unbearable because I don't know how long I'll be carrying and coping... I desperately wanted it all done before end of term on 23rd July. I'm so scared it's going to seep into my 2 weeks off with my beautiful children taking them on a little road trip to see family.
I had a hysterical sobbing fit at the end of my run, cried and shook for 40 mins. I've been all over the place today. I feel like a useless wreck and am having to be really loving and kind to myself and remind myself how far I've carried us all.
Then my husband's (hopefully sentencing) hearing got adjourned yesterday, from 10th July to who-knows-when. Probation officer who's writing the PSR has got annual leave and asked for a week's adjournment but who knows. I don't blame anyone, they're desperately underfunded etc
So now my finish line has disappeared, and all the stuff I'd been carrying and coping with is suddenly unbearable because I don't know how long I'll be carrying and coping... I desperately wanted it all done before end of term on 23rd July. I'm so scared it's going to seep into my 2 weeks off with my beautiful children taking them on a little road trip to see family.
I had a hysterical sobbing fit at the end of my run, cried and shook for 40 mins. I've been all over the place today. I feel like a useless wreck and am having to be really loving and kind to myself and remind myself how far I've carried us all.
Sentencing was this week. Suspended sentence and 10yrs on SOR. As expected it covers the entirety of my sons childhood. But at least I don't have to explain that dad is in jail!
Im surprisingly calm, although I was angry with him when he expressed it was a good outcome. I held my tongue all day then said my part. None of it is good, it's nothing to celebrate because my little family should never have been put through this ordeal to start with.
But I can now start to plan mine and my childs future now I have.a better idea of what that might look like. And the worst part is over. I can now continue with separating our lives and push forward with the divorce process. I'm looking forward to being completely independent.
I've got some lovely activities with little one this weekend and I'm hoping to book us a holiday too.
Im surprisingly calm, although I was angry with him when he expressed it was a good outcome. I held my tongue all day then said my part. None of it is good, it's nothing to celebrate because my little family should never have been put through this ordeal to start with.
But I can now start to plan mine and my childs future now I have.a better idea of what that might look like. And the worst part is over. I can now continue with separating our lives and push forward with the divorce process. I'm looking forward to being completely independent.
I've got some lovely activities with little one this weekend and I'm hoping to book us a holiday too.
Evening all, son's 21st tomorrow so trying to forget about things.. staying at Alton Towers this weekend, proper roller coasters tomorrow... still wish this would all go away.. but you have to make the best of things.. can't believe a month has passed since he was arrested.. any how try to have a good weekend all..
This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Riddled with anxiety and then feeling of calm. I'm only a few weeks into this nightmare and was signed off from work for 2 weeks but going back in on Monday. I had my back to work meeting yesterday and my manager questioned if I was ready. I can't be home any longer, I need some kind of normality and being at home gives me too much time to think. Been given the green light to say I need more time if I need it though.
Now I'm making the most of the remaining days I have left off work binging Netflix
Now I'm making the most of the remaining days I have left off work binging Netflix
Feeling postive.
Finally have been offered a house for me and our daughter. It's 40 minutes away and no one knows us there.
These last 9 months have been hell. Being always on edge that someone's going to say something as we have been getting abuse from people in our town.
So will be so happy to get out of it.
It also means my partner should be able to move back in and we can be a proper family unit.
Social services are doing the paperwork for court to discharge the care order on our daughter so shouldn't be long before they are out of our lives for good.
However I am also struggling mentally. Our daughter was in care till 18 months old and I am struggling with learning her as well as dealing with the terrible twos. I feel alone a lot as my partner works long days 4 days a week so its mainly just me.
I also have chronic conditions that make it even harder.
Referred myself for therpay hoping that will help.
So kinda a complicated feelings week.
Finally have been offered a house for me and our daughter. It's 40 minutes away and no one knows us there.
These last 9 months have been hell. Being always on edge that someone's going to say something as we have been getting abuse from people in our town.
So will be so happy to get out of it.
It also means my partner should be able to move back in and we can be a proper family unit.
Social services are doing the paperwork for court to discharge the care order on our daughter so shouldn't be long before they are out of our lives for good.
However I am also struggling mentally. Our daughter was in care till 18 months old and I am struggling with learning her as well as dealing with the terrible twos. I feel alone a lot as my partner works long days 4 days a week so its mainly just me.
I also have chronic conditions that make it even harder.
Referred myself for therpay hoping that will help.
So kinda a complicated feelings week.
Only 4 weeks into this and finding comfort in reading your messages. Tried to have a lovely weekend in the sunshine with my little kids. Had contact (supervised by me) with their dad yesterday, which felt ok but then neighbours talking about people in community talking about us today. so I cried. I cannot believe how much we have to makes sense of and process, with such little support. Glad to have you all (although wish it was better circumstances)