Major wobble - sentencing adjourned
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I'm really struggling with the fact my husband's hearing (which we hoped would be for sentencing) has been adjourned from next Thursday. The probation worker who's writing the pre-sentencing report is on annual leave and won't finish it in time.
I don't begrudge her a holiday, but I feel like that could cave been planned around. We're waiting for the new date and somehow losing that 'finish line' has plummeted me into despair. I've cried hysterically a few times a day since news of the adjournment on Wednesday evening.
I was doing so well. I'd come off the mirtazapine and was flourishing at work. I feel so sad for my poor children seeing me back to early post-knock state. I just want to be strong for them.
im speaking to my GP this afternoon and calmly working from home. It's just all so desperately unfair on me and the children.
I don't begrudge her a holiday, but I feel like that could cave been planned around. We're waiting for the new date and somehow losing that 'finish line' has plummeted me into despair. I've cried hysterically a few times a day since news of the adjournment on Wednesday evening.
I was doing so well. I'd come off the mirtazapine and was flourishing at work. I feel so sad for my poor children seeing me back to early post-knock state. I just want to be strong for them.
im speaking to my GP this afternoon and calmly working from home. It's just all so desperately unfair on me and the children.
I'm so sorry for this setback. Its just not fair. I obviously don't know what the job entails, but there's no way I could leave something so important hanging before I went on holiday. I'd be working extra to get it done.
I think these situations make many of us realise how strong we can be. And you are strong. Give it a few days, you will hopefully be able to summon some more strength to get through this. Xx
I think these situations make many of us realise how strong we can be. And you are strong. Give it a few days, you will hopefully be able to summon some more strength to get through this. Xx
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. It's all just so breathtakingly sad, especially when children are involved. The feeling of wanting to be strong, make things better, compensate for the awful situation our families have been thrown in to. All while trying to navigate our own emotions and plan for a very different future.
You have come so far and the ups and downs of emotion are like nothing else! It is normal to have good days and bad days. It is completely understandable to feel the way you do after mentally preparing yourself for such a big milestone.
Sending you lots of love and support xx
You have come so far and the ups and downs of emotion are like nothing else! It is normal to have good days and bad days. It is completely understandable to feel the way you do after mentally preparing yourself for such a big milestone.
Sending you lots of love and support xx
Honestly it feels like literal torture. I feel completely awash with this thrumming seething restlessness and fear. I just need that bloody date so I know what I'm working towards. Though now I won't trust the date to go ahead until it's actually gone ahead.
How utterly awful for you , what a weak excuse for postponement . Surely they must have an idea of the devastation they must be causing by not completing their report in time. It's such an unreal rollercoaster of emotions that I'm sure none of us would wish on anyone- x
I'm so sorry to read this and can only imagine how you must be feeling. The days leading up to court are filled with so much anxiety and fear and having it postponed at the last moment is a such a set back. I really hope you get another date soon and that you find your strength again for you and your children.
Thank you all. I unpacked my brain contents at my GP yesterday afternoon and feel so so much better. I needed that external validation that it's ok to find it hard. I think that's one of the really difficult aspects - there isn't linear progress in this journey and setbacks feel like they should be avoidable and are therefore unacceptable. I just needed to look at it face-on, accept it and regroup. At my GP's suggestion I also talked to my kids about why I've been so low since Wednesday -the relief on their faces once they knew it was just a boring procedural delay, not 'mum is seriously unwell'. That has lightened my load enormously.
I need to let go of being the perfect mum / saint / hero and just BE.
I need to let go of being the perfect mum / saint / hero and just BE.
I need to listen to some of this advice too! It sounds like you are in a much better place <3
I am almost glad to be in limbo land right now, where the only option is to just keep going and focus on my 3 young children.
I know at some point, I am going to have to make some horrible, life-changing decisions and there are no good options... :( xxx
I am almost glad to be in limbo land right now, where the only option is to just keep going and focus on my 3 young children.
I know at some point, I am going to have to make some horrible, life-changing decisions and there are no good options... :( xxx
Biggest hugs xxx
I think that is what i have always found the hardest. None of my options are good ones. How do you make a decision when you dont like any of them. X
Hi, "our" most recent case was adjourned 6 times over 6 months. It was never anything to do with the case. We also had a lengthy delay for the PSR, not that it mattered in the end. Eventually, after the 6th adjournment, the solicitor wrote to the Judge saying it was unfair to delay any further and that seemed to work and he was sentenced 3 years and 3 months since the knock.
Update: new court date is 18th July so not much delay. Feeling calmer and stronger since speaking to GP on Monday.
sending love to all x
sending love to all x