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Hi , i am new here and very confused hurt upset and scared ,i am looking for advise and help . We got the knock ( i have been reading other posts) i was up stairs and he went to the door , i could hear talking so i came down and asked what and who these people were . My husband told me it was the police , and i said well they dont look like the police . i was then told what do police look like . They werent police but in fact a vigilante group who i later found out that they were live streaming all over social media.
If only i had opened the door or i told him to come in things might have been different.( not everyone we know knowing about it from social media )so the police came and he was arrested , he told me he had been on a chat room , and that all i knew. Fast forward we are now nearly 9 weeks on and living apart my family have not spoken to him in that time , my grown up kids dont want anything to do with him.
My FIL is very ill and i have contact with my husband over this . My son got married and he didnt go to the wedding. So coping with major other situations as well as this **** show.
My husband has been suffering with his mental health and now been put on antidepressants. He should have gone to the doctors before for help and then perhaps we wouldnt be in this horriable place .I said at the start of all of this i would always be his friend and be there for him after 32 years its hard to walk away .
So me i dont know how i feel , i am coping day by day at the moment and today is a very hard day thats why i think i have posted because i just dont know what to do next . His bail has been extended now until Oct and i know it can go on for a long time . So how does everyone cope? my feelings change day by day towards him. My son has told me that if i go back to him he wont ever speak to me again ...
as all of us on here our lives have been changed but how do we move forward ?
thanks for reading such a long draw out post
If only i had opened the door or i told him to come in things might have been different.( not everyone we know knowing about it from social media )so the police came and he was arrested , he told me he had been on a chat room , and that all i knew. Fast forward we are now nearly 9 weeks on and living apart my family have not spoken to him in that time , my grown up kids dont want anything to do with him.
My FIL is very ill and i have contact with my husband over this . My son got married and he didnt go to the wedding. So coping with major other situations as well as this **** show.
My husband has been suffering with his mental health and now been put on antidepressants. He should have gone to the doctors before for help and then perhaps we wouldnt be in this horriable place .I said at the start of all of this i would always be his friend and be there for him after 32 years its hard to walk away .
So me i dont know how i feel , i am coping day by day at the moment and today is a very hard day thats why i think i have posted because i just dont know what to do next . His bail has been extended now until Oct and i know it can go on for a long time . So how does everyone cope? my feelings change day by day towards him. My son has told me that if i go back to him he wont ever speak to me again ...
as all of us on here our lives have been changed but how do we move forward ?
thanks for reading such a long draw out post
Oh l feel for you. Private message me if you need to talk. I know what you're going through x
Hiya
Sorry to hear that please private message me if you need anybsupport or information my partner also same thing knock by vigilante group and then arrest but he is innocent as name and account is fake one what was used in chat
Sorry to hear that please private message me if you need anybsupport or information my partner also same thing knock by vigilante group and then arrest but he is innocent as name and account is fake one what was used in chat
How I hate those vigilante groups. These crimes are up to the police to investigate where they can be kept private, not broadcast for all the world to see by people who think they're doing good. They don't think about the families involved in all of this. I'm 5 months in and its taken me this long to get through the initial shock and devastation (husband of 3 years/partner of 13 arrested for downloading IIOC). Take your time, take each day as it comes till you find out more and your emotions settle down a bit. Like you mine changed daily, so i was in no place to make a decision. Do you have anyone you can trust to talk to? Have you called the helpline? They're very good, and can give you info on the 5 week virtual Inform course, which gets a group of spouses/family members together to talk about their situations. It's led by a professional who give you a lot of info about why this may have happened and the next steps, and how to deal with it all. Your husband can also do a similar one. His is paid for, around £800, yours would be free.
Keep posting and asking questions. Feel free to message. We're all here to help and support each other xx
Keep posting and asking questions. Feel free to message. We're all here to help and support each other xx
Prashanth
Hiya
Sorry to hear that please private message me if you need anybsupport or information my partner also same thing knock by vigilante group and then arrest but he is innocent as name and account is fake one what was used in chat
sorry what do you mean the account was a false one ?
Hiya
Sorry to hear that please private message me if you need anybsupport or information my partner also same thing knock by vigilante group and then arrest but he is innocent as name and account is fake one what was used in chat
sorry what do you mean the account was a false one ?
old witch -just saying Hello and reminding you that you are definitely not alone !
We are 3.5 yrs down the line now and approaching a conclusion in the coming months. My autistic son was entrapped and hunted down by Vigilantes who turned up at our home and caused havoc in our road. The Police alllowed live-streaming and earned lots of likes and praise from people who viewed! I don't know how anyone copes with this trauma, I don't know how I have, in fact I probably haven't. The shock and trauma is profound.
Dont give up on your Son, let him come to terms with the shock and he may come around. In time this all-consuming situation will allow for increasing periods of 'normality' back.
i don't think I will ever get over what's happened and still only a few select but trusted people even know . Just cope with getting through each day, call the LF Helpline and see your GP and find yourself a trusted friend - it takes a long time but you will get through.
please message me if I can help at all x
We are 3.5 yrs down the line now and approaching a conclusion in the coming months. My autistic son was entrapped and hunted down by Vigilantes who turned up at our home and caused havoc in our road. The Police alllowed live-streaming and earned lots of likes and praise from people who viewed! I don't know how anyone copes with this trauma, I don't know how I have, in fact I probably haven't. The shock and trauma is profound.
Dont give up on your Son, let him come to terms with the shock and he may come around. In time this all-consuming situation will allow for increasing periods of 'normality' back.
i don't think I will ever get over what's happened and still only a few select but trusted people even know . Just cope with getting through each day, call the LF Helpline and see your GP and find yourself a trusted friend - it takes a long time but you will get through.
please message me if I can help at all x
This is the first time I've been on this forum. I've only just found it. I wish I'd known about it before. I am three years from the knock, since then I've developed an eating disorder and I believe PTSD which affects me when anyone comes to the door or strangely when I get any post. A week ago his work found out about it and he had to resign so now all I can think about is what do I do for money. My kids are the same they say if it's either him or me but you can't just let it go like that. We don't live together and it all just seems so hard. It hasn't got any easier yet
I'm 3 years post knock. Thankfully no vigilantes involved although it was all over social media. Whilst I don't agree with the tactics vigilantes use these crimes do need exposing - and wether it's them or the police a hand grenade is thrown and blows a family apart.
Took me 10 months to end my marriage. My adult son saying if I stayed I wouldn't be involved much in his life was one of the deciding factors. I couldn't imagine a life with kids on it.
I took said I would be his friend. But the reality is I now don't give 2 shits about him and what happens to him. I thought about taking my own life several times. He wasn't bothered about my mental health so I'm not about his. He threatened suicide. Harsh but I have though how much easier things would have been if he had.
I truly believe I'm better off on my own.
Took me 10 months to end my marriage. My adult son saying if I stayed I wouldn't be involved much in his life was one of the deciding factors. I couldn't imagine a life with kids on it.
I took said I would be his friend. But the reality is I now don't give 2 shits about him and what happens to him. I thought about taking my own life several times. He wasn't bothered about my mental health so I'm not about his. He threatened suicide. Harsh but I have though how much easier things would have been if he had.
I truly believe I'm better off on my own.