Historical case from 25 years ago.
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Where to start,
I know this isn't technically the right place for this but as I have had amazing support from this community before I just needed a safe place to get this out of my brain.
I didn't think I'd be back here if I am honest. 2 years ago my partner was accused of online sexual abuse. Well we had our day in court he got a 2 year suspended sentence. We are only 6 months away from it being done.
4 months ago he had started a new job in a new city. Things were going well, I had gone to stay in a hotel with him as we were looking at moving.
I had been there 2 days when I got a call, he had been taken from his job (which resulted in him loosing the job) by MOD police to be question about an incident of under age sex that happened when he was still serving in the Armed Forces and was based at an RAF base in Cyprus.
He had a relationship with a girl of 15 whole out there and he was early 30's. They had sex.
She has now come forward all these years later accusing him of grooming and sexual contact (I am sorry I don't know the correct terms) even though she says in her statement it was all consensual (I know it's irrelevant as she was under 16) She has also accused another man of this at the same time as the MOD officer told my partner during his interview.
Tomorrow we are heading up to the MOD Police station (I can't remember where I am Sorry) for the plea hearing. His lawyers and baristas have already told us we are looking at about 8 weeks until the trial and to basically get his affairs in order as he will be going to jail.
He said it could be anywhere from 2 to 10 years.
We have both been absolutely blindsided by this and I am so extremely terrified.
Has anyone got any experience with a case like this? Even his current probation officer is complete confused about it all as it's been handled terribly by the MOD police. They are also trying to stop myself from being present tomorrow.
Scared Kitty
I know this isn't technically the right place for this but as I have had amazing support from this community before I just needed a safe place to get this out of my brain.
I didn't think I'd be back here if I am honest. 2 years ago my partner was accused of online sexual abuse. Well we had our day in court he got a 2 year suspended sentence. We are only 6 months away from it being done.
4 months ago he had started a new job in a new city. Things were going well, I had gone to stay in a hotel with him as we were looking at moving.
I had been there 2 days when I got a call, he had been taken from his job (which resulted in him loosing the job) by MOD police to be question about an incident of under age sex that happened when he was still serving in the Armed Forces and was based at an RAF base in Cyprus.
He had a relationship with a girl of 15 whole out there and he was early 30's. They had sex.
She has now come forward all these years later accusing him of grooming and sexual contact (I am sorry I don't know the correct terms) even though she says in her statement it was all consensual (I know it's irrelevant as she was under 16) She has also accused another man of this at the same time as the MOD officer told my partner during his interview.
Tomorrow we are heading up to the MOD Police station (I can't remember where I am Sorry) for the plea hearing. His lawyers and baristas have already told us we are looking at about 8 weeks until the trial and to basically get his affairs in order as he will be going to jail.
He said it could be anywhere from 2 to 10 years.
We have both been absolutely blindsided by this and I am so extremely terrified.
Has anyone got any experience with a case like this? Even his current probation officer is complete confused about it all as it's been handled terribly by the MOD police. They are also trying to stop myself from being present tomorrow.
Scared Kitty
Hi, this sounds devastating. I am so sorry. I heard a radio 4 programme recently about the way the Military Police handled cases and it made unpleasant listening. Might it be worth getting legal advice?
Thinking of you - I can't imagine the pain you're going through. xx
Thinking of you - I can't imagine the pain you're going through. xx
Daisy1956
Thank you. We have a solicitor who has a background in military law and he's actually trying to get some of the charges dropped as they are crazy (one of for touching her leg) he has already found a barrister who used to be a judge himself and therefore knows a bit about what we are looking at. Unfortunately the prosecution are going to us my OH's conviction against him even though at the time of the incident it hadn't happened. It's all extremely strange. Even the civi police officer who has been checking in with my OH during his suspended sentence can't understand it and she put in a formal complaint about how my OH was taken away from his job for questioning when they could have done it when he wasn't at work meaning he would have kept his job.
Just want to get through tomorrows plea hearing and then start planning how we get through the next 8 weeks and then however long he gets.
x
Thank you. We have a solicitor who has a background in military law and he's actually trying to get some of the charges dropped as they are crazy (one of for touching her leg) he has already found a barrister who used to be a judge himself and therefore knows a bit about what we are looking at. Unfortunately the prosecution are going to us my OH's conviction against him even though at the time of the incident it hadn't happened. It's all extremely strange. Even the civi police officer who has been checking in with my OH during his suspended sentence can't understand it and she put in a formal complaint about how my OH was taken away from his job for questioning when they could have done it when he wasn't at work meaning he would have kept his job.
Just want to get through tomorrows plea hearing and then start planning how we get through the next 8 weeks and then however long he gets.
x
I don't have anything useful to say but wanted to let you know how sorry I am that you're going through this, my heart really goes out to you and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Ocean
Thank you. We've not had any sleep and have to set off for the hearing in about 45 minutes as it's going to take us a bit to get there.
We did get a small bit of good news that the MOD have agreed to let me be with him today. Not sure why they weren't going to in the first place.
Will update later today.
Kitty x
Thank you. We've not had any sleep and have to set off for the hearing in about 45 minutes as it's going to take us a bit to get there.
We did get a small bit of good news that the MOD have agreed to let me be with him today. Not sure why they weren't going to in the first place.
Will update later today.
Kitty x
Update
We have just left the plea hearing and as advised my OH pleaded guilty to all 6 charges. What I don't understand is why they changed the wording from woman to young child on two of them when it's the same person at the same date. We have been given a sentacing date of the 12th of September. The judge is asking for a pre sentencing report and did mention suspend sentencing hasn't been ruled out but he wants more information on my OH's other offence even though it happened years after this particular incident.
Not sure what we are supposed to do now but my OH is seeing his PO on Monday so hopefully that will help.
Kitty x
We have just left the plea hearing and as advised my OH pleaded guilty to all 6 charges. What I don't understand is why they changed the wording from woman to young child on two of them when it's the same person at the same date. We have been given a sentacing date of the 12th of September. The judge is asking for a pre sentencing report and did mention suspend sentencing hasn't been ruled out but he wants more information on my OH's other offence even though it happened years after this particular incident.
Not sure what we are supposed to do now but my OH is seeing his PO on Monday so hopefully that will help.
Kitty x
Hi Kitty, thank you for your update and although not much for you to be thankful for at least you were able to be with your OH for his plea hearing.
I can imagine the situation must be overwhelming for you so try not to forget about looking after yourself and prioritising your own well being.
Although my experience is different to yours I am here for you if ever you want to message me.
I can imagine the situation must be overwhelming for you so try not to forget about looking after yourself and prioritising your own well being.
Although my experience is different to yours I am here for you if ever you want to message me.
Thank you Ocean
Today as hard as it was I took myself off out for a couple of hours just to have a coffee. We have agreed to take the weekend to be as normal (for us) as possible and then start planning and emailing people on Monday. Hes actually seeing his PO on Monday so hopefully she can help with next steps.
I really appreciate your support and my inbox is always open for you too.
Kitty x
Today as hard as it was I took myself off out for a couple of hours just to have a coffee. We have agreed to take the weekend to be as normal (for us) as possible and then start planning and emailing people on Monday. Hes actually seeing his PO on Monday so hopefully she can help with next steps.
I really appreciate your support and my inbox is always open for you too.
Kitty x