Family and Friends Forum

You have come to the right place for support, we are all here for very similar reasons.

For those of us who have children- the hardest part is dealing with SS- you need to be prepared for this. You're having to navigate what your husband did and deal with SS. Have the police informed you that a referral to SS has been made?

It may be a while before your husband will be allowed to live at the house again whether thats via the police/courts or SS. I would look at your support network if you have a demanding job. Do you have friends/family who can help with childcare?

Its a complete shock what has happened and you need time to comprehend what he has done. Don't be harsh on yourself, its not your fault.

We are all here providing support to one another xx

Firstly, I'm sorry you find yourself here. It does sound like your husband may have been distributing images as well as downloading. You are at the very beginning of what will no doubt be a very long road. It often takes years these days for these cases to reach court. So, although you're hurting and very confused, you don't need to make any major decisions yet. I need to tell you that because of the arrest and the fact you have a child, it's highly likely that social services will be in touch. They will want you to understand the arrest and the seriousness of it. They will want you to show them that the most important thing is your child and that you are "protective". I appreciate this is an awful lot to take in. You can call the helpline, they are very knowledgeable, safe and helpful. Might be too early for you but they run an online course called INFORM, which goes through all the different elements regarding what happens along the way on this journey such as potential charges, court and Police procedures and social services etc. Keep talking here too. We are all just like you and have a wealth of knowledge and experience. Wishing you all the very best. X

I am so sorry you find yourself here. I just joined this week too. I have a 5 and 7 year old and am dealing with the exact same confusion and shock after 10 years marriage. I trusted my hubby 100% and with every bit of information I heard, was left feeling like my hubby never existed and I have been living on another planet. This forum has brought me some comfort, knowing I am not alone. I am hoping to join the group in September too. We can hopefully all support each other. At the moment I am just trying to eat, work, play with kids and sleep. Look after yourself, this is such a massive pivot for us to navigate.

Bail conditions will stay in place until a court date happens if he is faced with charges. The court will then make a decision- lift bail conditions with no further restrictions. Or given a SHPO and/or sign the SOR. SS will more than likely get back in touch. When my husband was first arrested SS closed the case after doing some initial checks, they just do the basics- are dentist appointments up to date, any health issues, check attendance at school. They don't tend to be involved that much as they see bail conditions as a protective factor. When my husband had his bail conditions lifted with no further restrictions that's when they came in even harsher and think they are above the law, they are still in our lives two years later xx