1 year post knock
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Hello,
we are 1 year post knock now. My OH was taken for an interview and released pending investigation. No bail, no conditions, nothing and all devices seized, including mine.
ive been asking the OIC for updates and was last told in December it would be sooner rather than later but here we are, still no updates, still no further forward to putting this behind us. The police have actually told us to stop contacting them for updates which I find ridiculous.
anyone got any advice on how we can get this moving or how I can get frequent updates? Trying to carry on with life but get stung with this harsh reality sometimes.
we are 1 year post knock now. My OH was taken for an interview and released pending investigation. No bail, no conditions, nothing and all devices seized, including mine.
ive been asking the OIC for updates and was last told in December it would be sooner rather than later but here we are, still no updates, still no further forward to putting this behind us. The police have actually told us to stop contacting them for updates which I find ridiculous.
anyone got any advice on how we can get this moving or how I can get frequent updates? Trying to carry on with life but get stung with this harsh reality sometimes.
So sorry misskitty and how I wish we could insert emojis on the forum as here we are with yet another example of the police saying whatever they like to make it sound as if they are doing their job well (imagine a long line of that emoji of a redfaced angry person coupled with the one with steam coming out of their nostrils).
In the early days (nearly 3 years now) our son was warned that he sounded as if he might break his bail conditions as he asked his OIC what something meant and sent a reminder when he was ignored. She then threatened us with random police checks to make sure we weren't allowing him to stay overnight when his children visited. I still get a huge lurch in my stomach if a car pulls up outside thanks to that (of course we weren't doing that and of course there were no visits so it was all bluster as our son dared to point out she hadn't replied to him.)
We are still at the mercy of the OIC lying about progress but after so many times we just ignore what she says now and I write a letter of complaint about her (in my head of course but it helps with the frustration!)
All I can do is send an empathetic hug your way. Along with many others I feel your pain and frustration.
Regarding being told not to bother them, our son now has a solicitor and they are officially allowed to ask if there has been any progress every 28 days but I don't think that same courtesy extends to us lowly mortals.
In the early days (nearly 3 years now) our son was warned that he sounded as if he might break his bail conditions as he asked his OIC what something meant and sent a reminder when he was ignored. She then threatened us with random police checks to make sure we weren't allowing him to stay overnight when his children visited. I still get a huge lurch in my stomach if a car pulls up outside thanks to that (of course we weren't doing that and of course there were no visits so it was all bluster as our son dared to point out she hadn't replied to him.)
We are still at the mercy of the OIC lying about progress but after so many times we just ignore what she says now and I write a letter of complaint about her (in my head of course but it helps with the frustration!)
All I can do is send an empathetic hug your way. Along with many others I feel your pain and frustration.
Regarding being told not to bother them, our son now has a solicitor and they are officially allowed to ask if there has been any progress every 28 days but I don't think that same courtesy extends to us lowly mortals.
It's just so awful isn't it? I just want to be able to move on with my life, we both do but trying to pretend nothing is going on gets so hard at times.
I wish the police would do better and remember we are all human at the end of the day and deserve to know what's going on, to get some closure or reassurance.
I feel your pain when you said you get that feeling in your stomach everytime a car door goes, I get the exact same feeling too, it's such an awful thing to live with.
My OH considered getting a solicitor too so we could be updated quicker but I don't think it will help speed any sort of process up, he is low risk and low priority with no bail etc so it seems they will just do as they like for as long as they like
I wish the police would do better and remember we are all human at the end of the day and deserve to know what's going on, to get some closure or reassurance.
I feel your pain when you said you get that feeling in your stomach everytime a car door goes, I get the exact same feeling too, it's such an awful thing to live with.
My OH considered getting a solicitor too so we could be updated quicker but I don't think it will help speed any sort of process up, he is low risk and low priority with no bail etc so it seems they will just do as they like for as long as they like
Honestly, you can't. You're in a queue and the Police simply don't have the time to be giving us updates etc or else it'll be an even longer wait for us all. Any updates you do get are guesses pretty much and they are said to placate you into silence. With the best Will in the world you can't make the investigation or the forensic experts team go any faster. Then there's the Court delays. In "our" case, it took 3 years and 3 months from arrest to sentence. When it came to sentencing the case was adjourned SIX times due to court delays which added about an extra 7 months to it. Having been through this twice, so I know just how hard it is, my advice to you is to try to compartmentalise it. Its a situation you can't do much about so what's the point in stressing it? The Police etc certainly don't care that you are understandably, concerned, so don't let them take any more from you than this whole wretched thing has already. Wishing you all the very best. X
hi Misskitty
i'm sorry to say it's been almost 19 months since we got the knock and still no update as to what's happening. All devices were seized whether they have been checked or not we do not know. I did try emailing the police about six months to ask a question relating to the case and they just didn't reply .
so unfortunately I'm guessing we have to pay the waiting game and pay them at their silly games. I'm sorry it's taken so long for you to get an answer. I know it is a drag and it's horrible for us who have been putting that position and that has done nothing wrong xx
i'm sorry to say it's been almost 19 months since we got the knock and still no update as to what's happening. All devices were seized whether they have been checked or not we do not know. I did try emailing the police about six months to ask a question relating to the case and they just didn't reply .
so unfortunately I'm guessing we have to pay the waiting game and pay them at their silly games. I'm sorry it's taken so long for you to get an answer. I know it is a drag and it's horrible for us who have been putting that position and that has done nothing wrong xx
It's perfectly possible for the police to provide updates on the progress of the investigation they just seem to choose not too.
My OH said that during his previous investigation he didn't even need to ask, the OiC contacted him at least fortnightly to keep him up to speed on the progress of the investigation, even if it was to say we haven't done anything this week.
My OH said that during his previous investigation he didn't even need to ask, the OiC contacted him at least fortnightly to keep him up to speed on the progress of the investigation, even if it was to say we haven't done anything this week.
Thankfully we've been pretty lucky with the OIC we have but my person was just turned 16 when the knock happened and it's coming up to a year now. I regularly request updates and yeah they may just be pacifying who knows. I also advise them of the negative impact this is having on my son. Plus my husband told them early on we planned to complain when its over due to incompetence of the police at the start.