Guess what part 2: he’s been sentenced (suspended)
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Unbelievably. They cobbled together a bench of magistrates and he's been sentenced to 9 months custodial, suspended for 2 years.
Thanks for everyone who's been here for me. I'm going offline for a few hours now to regroup x.
Thanks for everyone who's been here for me. I'm going offline for a few hours now to regroup x.
The magistrate stated there is to be no reporting of the case. Even better.
Oh Lisa, what an emotional rollercoaster today has been for you. I hope you can give yourself time to adjust to this part, and then in time start to move on.
Great news re the reporting
Thinking of you and your girls x x
Great news re the reporting
Thinking of you and your girls x x
Oh wow! Lucky with the no reporting. Very relieved for you and your girls xx
So glad this is all done for you now, brilliant news of no reporting! Big hugs x x
So pleased your wait is over and even better if no reporting or custodial sentence. At least now there is no waiting around to find out what is going happen or the worry of it hitting media. Xx
I'm so pleased that the hearing went ahead and that your person received a reasonable sentence. You're on the other side now, now more waiting, no more worrying about the outcome and no more living in limbo. You can now look forward to spending time with your children over the summer holidays.
Hi Lisa, I hope you can breathe a sigh of relief and start moving forward with your life. I just wondered what prompted the no reporting? Did you have to do anything specific? Thanks x
I haven't seen him since the hearing and only had 3 or 4 WhatsApps about the outcome. I've got 1000 questions about the other aspects of the sentence, his SHPO etc, and the reason for the ban on reporting (could it be the letter I wrote? Did that even go on the court file?) but I honestly didn't want to get into it yesterday as I was just so relieved for my girls. We don't communicate well via messaging and I didn't want to call him as I was in my bubble of relief and he can be quite a frustrating person to talk to.
I'll be grilling him today in person.
I'll be grilling him today in person.
I'm none the wiser as to why the magistrates ordered no reporting. The OIC had indicated he would do everything he could to avoid press but couldn't guarantee anything - I assume it was his input that saved us from reporting. Now I've skimmed the first few messages from the chat log with the decoy, and seen the wording of the charge which was pretty graphic and detailed, I'm amazed tbh. It's horribly debased and disgusting.
It's a relief to no longer feel like I HAVE to support and nurture and protect and mollycoddle this idiot to keep him safe. He's got through it (thanks to me and his fellows through SAA) and I can let go and put myself and the girls first.
It's a relief to no longer feel like I HAVE to support and nurture and protect and mollycoddle this idiot to keep him safe. He's got through it (thanks to me and his fellows through SAA) and I can let go and put myself and the girls first.
So relieved for you.
Sounds like a really similar sentence and scenario to my person-so at least there's some sort of consistency to try help reassure those on the forum still in the early dark days.
My persons sentencing also had no reporting (not that it helped as the press got wind of it at plea) but at least me and our child and the wider family didn't get a second humiliation and fear over the backlash.
I read my persons conditions; they were quite pleased that it wasn't worse but I was just seething as all I could think was the length of time this will affect my child and it needn't have happened at all if he'd just not been a selfish idiot.
Deep breaths, you now can see the light at the end of the tunnel rather than just the dark.
Sounds like a really similar sentence and scenario to my person-so at least there's some sort of consistency to try help reassure those on the forum still in the early dark days.
My persons sentencing also had no reporting (not that it helped as the press got wind of it at plea) but at least me and our child and the wider family didn't get a second humiliation and fear over the backlash.
I read my persons conditions; they were quite pleased that it wasn't worse but I was just seething as all I could think was the length of time this will affect my child and it needn't have happened at all if he'd just not been a selfish idiot.
Deep breaths, you now can see the light at the end of the tunnel rather than just the dark.
Great news, I'm so pleased for you. Hopefully you'll now be able to put all this behind you and move on xx
Grenade he's on the SOR for 10 years and up to 30 days RAR days, plus SHPO for 10 years where he isn't allowed to borrow or use other people's devices except at a job centre or public library, own an iPhone or iPad etc, as they're impossible to monitor properly.
I no longer wake with that horrible seething dread of uncertainty but it's been replaced with pretty potent anger and repulsion, and a strong need to end the relationship. I'm giving myself the rest of this year to just settle back down into work, motherhood etc before doing anything formal, but I've already equipped myself with knowledge of what I want and need to do.
I have no regrets about not reading the chat log until the eve of sentencing, as i couldn't have coped with everything all at once. But now I know enough from the first three messages, and the wording of the sentence which quoted the charge, to know this was much much more repulsive than I had allowed myself to imagine. My brain was obviously protecting me by putting a sort of haze over any specific hypothetical detail but seeing it laid out has really put the nail in the coffin. The man was a depraved pervert and it wasn't a one off.
I no longer wake with that horrible seething dread of uncertainty but it's been replaced with pretty potent anger and repulsion, and a strong need to end the relationship. I'm giving myself the rest of this year to just settle back down into work, motherhood etc before doing anything formal, but I've already equipped myself with knowledge of what I want and need to do.
I have no regrets about not reading the chat log until the eve of sentencing, as i couldn't have coped with everything all at once. But now I know enough from the first three messages, and the wording of the sentence which quoted the charge, to know this was much much more repulsive than I had allowed myself to imagine. My brain was obviously protecting me by putting a sort of haze over any specific hypothetical detail but seeing it laid out has really put the nail in the coffin. The man was a depraved pervert and it wasn't a one off.
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Hi Lisa
I'm so pleased for you that this is over now and you can start to rebuild your life.
All the best
Hx
I'm so pleased for you that this is over now and you can start to rebuild your life.
All the best
Hx