What would happen to my children? T.W - death
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Apologies for the morbid post but it dawned it me today that I don't know what would happen to my children if I died?! They don't want contact with their dad, they haven't seen or spoken to him for 10 months since he pleaded guilty. He now has a 10year SHPO. They are currently 14 &12. He is on the birth certificate so has parental responsibility but they wouldn't want to live with him and I certainly wouldn't want that happen!
Anyone else had this thought and found out an answer? Apologies again, I will make contact with someone next week to discuss but it's doing laps round my brain!
Anyone else had this thought and found out an answer? Apologies again, I will make contact with someone next week to discuss but it's doing laps round my brain!
Unfortunately I have thought about this a lot since my persons arrest. They're not allowed unsupervised access to our child until they're over16 and even then no overnights, and their SOR & SHPO extends long into child's adulthood so would never be allowed to live with them. Expecting this length of sentence at charges stage; I changed my will when I started to separate finances etc so that if anything happens to me, our child goes to the nominated person already in my previous will who knows my ex's sentence and conditions. My executors (1friend 1 family member) both know the full story so can act on my behalf in the best interests of our child and I trust them to make good decisions as they know me and have similar beliefs.
Not sure if you've already thought of this but I also have the fun task of changing all my NOK information to another family member until our child is a legal adult as I dont want my ex making any decisions about me or my future.....he's made a big enough mess with bad choices already.
Not sure if you've already thought of this but I also have the fun task of changing all my NOK information to another family member until our child is a legal adult as I dont want my ex making any decisions about me or my future.....he's made a big enough mess with bad choices already.
This issue caused me a great deal of worry when my ex was sent to prison and my children weren't allowed any contact whatsoever. I didn't have anyone to ask for help if the worst happened. I just had to try to put one foot in front of the other and hope that I got them to age 18 and beyond, which has happened, thankfully. Do you have any good friends you could call upon? If so and they agreed to take your children if the worst happened, you just need to put it in writing. X
Hi
To be honest this is a live issue for me. I'm 2 years since being treated for advanced cancer. I have another 4 years to go until I know if I'm cured. Sadly I don't have much family nearby. My niece won't have anything to do with either me or my child. She lives with my sister so if I died I can't see how my son could live with her. So I'm hoping and determined to survive at least until he is a legal adult. I've also increased my 'death in service' benefits so hopefully this would provide for him. I also opened up a small investment account...its really not a lot but hopefully over time it will be something. We might loose our home but it just helped me to feel less powerless to open it for him. I'm also going to sort out my will. I'm not really sure how that it will all work given I'm still legally married to his father. I don't have the energy, etc. to get a divorce but I am planning to. I've unhelpfully been a little frozen on sorting out my will - it's just too hard to contemplate leaving my child in this mess without me to protect him as much as I can.
Hx
To be honest this is a live issue for me. I'm 2 years since being treated for advanced cancer. I have another 4 years to go until I know if I'm cured. Sadly I don't have much family nearby. My niece won't have anything to do with either me or my child. She lives with my sister so if I died I can't see how my son could live with her. So I'm hoping and determined to survive at least until he is a legal adult. I've also increased my 'death in service' benefits so hopefully this would provide for him. I also opened up a small investment account...its really not a lot but hopefully over time it will be something. We might loose our home but it just helped me to feel less powerless to open it for him. I'm also going to sort out my will. I'm not really sure how that it will all work given I'm still legally married to his father. I don't have the energy, etc. to get a divorce but I am planning to. I've unhelpfully been a little frozen on sorting out my will - it's just too hard to contemplate leaving my child in this mess without me to protect him as much as I can.
Hx
I've chosen my parents. When he was first accused it was the first things we spoke about after he was arrested. He understands and said its the most sensible option. I wanted to make sure he was on the same page.
Not remotely morbid. Not going to lie I had the exact same thoughts, not because they don't want to see their dad, just more along the lines of I doubt the system would allow him to care for them. Eldest isn't biologically his but considers him as dad.
what I did was buy a living will book. You can get them on Amazon. It has everything in it. From who will look after your kids to assets and banking. I let a couple of trusted people know where the book is including my eldest. In the book I've suggested that both my children go to a trusted friend. With agreement of dad of who I chose. I didn't choose his parents because well they are the worst (not exaggerating, plus they wouldn't take my eldest as not biological), didn't choose my parents as they wouldn't allow contact with dad regardless of how my kids felt. If in event eldest is over 18, they have agreed to look after youngest, with support from family and friends of course.
the living will can be used in events such as coma etc or if death happens. I hope that it never has to be used prior to kids being full grown, but it is something that is highly important.
what I did was buy a living will book. You can get them on Amazon. It has everything in it. From who will look after your kids to assets and banking. I let a couple of trusted people know where the book is including my eldest. In the book I've suggested that both my children go to a trusted friend. With agreement of dad of who I chose. I didn't choose his parents because well they are the worst (not exaggerating, plus they wouldn't take my eldest as not biological), didn't choose my parents as they wouldn't allow contact with dad regardless of how my kids felt. If in event eldest is over 18, they have agreed to look after youngest, with support from family and friends of course.
the living will can be used in events such as coma etc or if death happens. I hope that it never has to be used prior to kids being full grown, but it is something that is highly important.