Family and Friends Forum

Advice needed please

Notifications OFF

Dreaming

Member since
February 2024

25 posts

I am here because of my son, we are now after court and at court judge said no restrictions apart from on the Internet.

We were meant to be going on a family holiday but obviously didn't want to book as we was unsure of what the outcome would be at court.

My son has told probation that we might be going on this holiday and has asked if that would be OK. Since he has asked this probation have been awful to him and have said no he can't and have said this is a red flag to them in him asking. His nephews would be on this holiday but we would be staying in different accommodation. Is this right he is on the register for 5 years so I do understand that there are things to consider. I just feel so confused with everything, no one really explains everything after and obviously he don't want to get into any trouble.

Please any advice would be great

Thankyou

Posted Sun July 20, 2025 9:39amReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

998 posts

Hi Dreaming, I'm sorry to know your son is struggling with his probation officer. I'm also here because of my son and we too have had to change some of our plans for holidays and trips away. Generally my son has found his probation officer and offender manager to be helpful, but we have had holiday plans turned down if the Terms and Conditions of the place we were hoping to stay in have said they do not knowing allow SO's to stay on their premises. This applies to family type holidays at places like center parcs and holiday camps. We now make sure we thoroughly check the T's&C's before making any plans.

I don't understand why probation thought that checking with them was a 'Red flag'. My son checks most of his new activities and plans with probation who if unsure refer it to his offender.

Posted Sun July 20, 2025 6:30pmReport post

Dreaming

Member since
February 2024

25 posts

Thankyou for your reply Ocean. Yes I can understand that and we will have to look into it more.

We have decided to leave a holiday for this year maybe next year and will look at the t & c more throughly.

Yes the probation officer just don't seem to be very helpful and seems to not give great advice, even with jobs and other things. I suppose this is just the way it will be for a while.

Thankyou for your advice.

Posted Mon July 21, 2025 8:52amReport post

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

406 posts

We were extremely lucky with the support from probation and offending manager and thankfully register and supervision was only 1 year in that time we holidayed in UK and booked and air b n b that way there was no hassle

Posted Mon July 21, 2025 11:48amReport post

Dreaming

Member since
February 2024

25 posts

Thankyou for replying.

Yes I can understand that our plans will now change and an air b and b is a good idea.

Can anyone advise on what to do wlabout probation so my son has seen her every week this week she came to the house and was constantly going on at him about holidays and that he need to forget it for 5 years and even though he has not mentioned anything about a holiday as we now know that is unlikely he would be able to go.

She gives no and just seems to enjoy making him feel totally rubbish.I understand that thisbhis punishment I suppose but he has suffered with his mental health and every week she just makes things worse.

Any advice welcome, is this normal I just don't know but I am very worried about my sons mental health at the moment

Thankyou

Posted Tue July 29, 2025 8:44pmReport post

26a20

Member since
December 2024

172 posts

I would very clearly ask the probation officer to explain what their rational for not being able to join in on a family holiday is and the legal basis for this. You mention the holiday would include the nephews, are their parents aware of the conviction?

From what you described above it seems he has no license conditions or SHPO restriction to stop him travelling.

As long as he abides by the notification requirments of SOR I can't see how he would be breaking any rules, i.e notifies them of; foreign travel, staying at one address for seven days or more or staying at an address with an under 18 for more then 12 hours.

Whilst on a 10 year SOR my partner and I had multiple holidays across the UK.

Posted Sat August 2, 2025 9:28pmReport post

Lrf

Member since
July 2024

123 posts

It might be that as his nephews are involved that they need social services and the parents permission?

Or that there may be unregulated devices in the accomodation e.g. smart TV's that wouldn't have the monitoring software downloaded on them and therefore if he offends there it might go under the radar or there might be a greater temptation to offend as the IP address would be different.

Then I guess if it's a family holiday resort if there's any risk to other families or children at the resort, are there areas that it may be impossible to avoid being unsupervised around children. Are there open access swimming pools, parks, beaches and othe replaces children are likely to be in.

They would have to be able to say that the parents knew the risk and were able to safeguard their children in that circumstance.

I guess the rationale would be that they are unable to do drop in checks whilst your on holiday and would have no way to regulate if your son was ever unsupervised with them or was staying the night in his accomodation or the other, or if maybe the nephews were in and out of your accomodation, slept over in yours one night etc. Maybe a safety plan would help? holiday creates a largely unregulated environment so it's tricky for them to manage risks as it's outside of the area.

Posted Wed August 6, 2025 3:04pm
Edited Wed August 6, 2025 3:04pmReport post

edel2020

Member since
March 2022

575 posts

Lrf

You raise some very good points. But if it is the case that holidays are so risky, then I would expect probation to apply this across the board and that means nobody on the SOR would be allowed to take a holiday.

In practice, they raise very few objections and this appears to be a one off.

Posted Thu August 7, 2025 10:48amReport post

Lrf

Member since
July 2024

123 posts

What I would say is it probably is a postcode lottery like SS, you will hear some stories on here where men have been allowed unsupervised contact or to move home and others have been allowed no contact or very highly supervised contact.

I wasn't saying that all probation would follow these risks through as being enough to not go on holiday however there clearly also is a case to say there is a potential risk is the probation officer does want to stop this.

Also the opinions on this forum are often coloured by peoples own experiences, for example my ex can have no contact with my children that is what SS have said however his family have read posts on here saying that others have been allowed contact and now are convinced that I am being a villain in the whole thing and it's all down to me. (Despite the fact he's told me he doesn't want contact anyway *eye roll*)

So I think it's important to state that unfortunately there seems to be no regulation, no across the board reaction by authorities it can be wildly different in different areas of the country and it only takes one probation officer if social worker citing any risks (and as you can see there are potentially several) Vs a different probation officer /SW who chooses not to consider those risks. It's very very inconsistent.

Posted Thu August 7, 2025 11:36amReport post

Tiredsoul

Member since
May 2024

26 posts

My person was told absolutely no holidays while on probation, as it's an alternative to prison and you can't in prison.. yet I've seen others allowed. My person doesn't have SHPO , just on SOR. He can now freely go on holiday he just has to inform the police a certain time before.

Posted Sun August 17, 2025 4:05pmReport post

Quick exit