Family and Friends Forum

Hi all, it's the hardest thing for any of us to go through and with so limited information makes thing tougher so we now have court date next month I hate what he's done it's ripped me apart think my kids are coping OK there 20 and 17 soon to be 18 my daughter nearly 18 is quite short and snappy with him which I get and don't blame her I feel I'm trying to hold everything together single handed my husband hasn't spoken with our kids about what he's done I have had to keep them in the loop with what I know trying to deal with my head and emotions I don't condone what he's done he'll get exactly whatever comes no stopping that the bit that has annoyed me the most is he told me it's been years of what he's been doing but yet checks have come back with 1 years worth of things and I'm actually quite pissed off that I feel he's got away with everything he's done and only caught for 1 years worth (does that make any sense) I think I still have feelings for him but now thinks have changed I'm so scared to be with him but also worried about a life without him this upsets me a lot ( crying again) so painful to the core about what will happen what people may say or think about me still being with him so difficult to open up even on here I'm scared to write what I want to say so I hold back as not sure if this is a closed group or not, I have spoken to mental health nurse but came away feeling like she thinks I should leave as she said I'm so young and still have a life ahead of me, I'm all over the place with thoughts and because our court time is coming soon I'm a mess but just feel like I have to hold it together and carry on as normal mum keeps saying I'll be fine when actually I'd rather just give up and do nothing at all just hide away from everyone as I have kind of done already from all friends so only in touch with my family only 4 family members know what's going on and others I have to lie to saying we're all good yet a big hidden secret is how I see it and hurts so bad sorry I'm having a moan not quite what you need to read as we're all going through different and difficult stages of this crappy process I just want to break down I'm too god damm soft for still being with him part of me feels sorry for him as he's nowhere else to go so can't put him out he's been my rock through my health issues without him don't think I'd still be here today yet this is what he does to hurt us all want all this to just be a bad nightmare I'm still in my 30s aren't they meant to be the best years when your kids grown up but no feeling so sad and sorry for myself all you people here get the ways we feel this is why i come on here don't message much a few times and I'm so grateful for this site even if no one reads this I feel I have let a little go just typing this out sending big hugs to you all xxx keep going soon be over I guess xxx

Thank you for your kind replys poster and dottie just at a complete loss with everything going around in my head as are we all in this horrible situation I know I am going to get worse the closer court comes but I'm so frozen and tearful about everything today its so not a good experience for any of us to be in I just hope I can move on from this weather I'm to stay with him or go solo without him for now I'm doing 1 hour at a time to get through sending big hugs back to everyone trying to stay strong xxx