Sorry needed to vent
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Just got another report before another conference
this one was bought forward 3 months as the chair believed all outstanding work would be done but it says on report recommended to stay on child protection.
i wasn't allowed to supervise at this time despite my absolute hard work so they want more sessions with me, it's broke my heart , their only concern is my bond with my husband but everything else was super positive?? How do I get past this?
then it's saying my husbands risk has been put as high by probation just because they believe he doesn't understand what he's done but he does he's absolutely broke by what has happened he's trying so hard for us.
his probation has made a comment that he apprently admitted to if he come on holiday with us he'd probably break the rules which he never said at all...
it always says he had thousands more images that weren't graded but it was never actually confirmed there was more just said there was thousands more files int he device which could be anything :,( not denying there could be more but shouldn't put it on there unless it's proven with evidence.
Seems like all these comments are to make my husband sound worse than he is....Will his risk drop?? He's doing therapy and working so hard for us it's unreal and they don't acknowledge a thing
the chair even bought emotions into it last time with comments like "I wouldn't of stayed if it was me"
....this is so twisted and not right where can we turn??
please can someone tell me this gets better and he'll come home they know that's what we both want and have maintained this all the way through with complete honesty
Can someone just reassure me please...I feel sick 24/7, keeep falling asleep, feel like I've never felt in my life it's been a year surely it's got to change soon hasn't it :( my dads just found out he's terminal too only 11-12 months to live and this is too much
how can we make this right
this one was bought forward 3 months as the chair believed all outstanding work would be done but it says on report recommended to stay on child protection.
i wasn't allowed to supervise at this time despite my absolute hard work so they want more sessions with me, it's broke my heart , their only concern is my bond with my husband but everything else was super positive?? How do I get past this?
then it's saying my husbands risk has been put as high by probation just because they believe he doesn't understand what he's done but he does he's absolutely broke by what has happened he's trying so hard for us.
his probation has made a comment that he apprently admitted to if he come on holiday with us he'd probably break the rules which he never said at all...
it always says he had thousands more images that weren't graded but it was never actually confirmed there was more just said there was thousands more files int he device which could be anything :,( not denying there could be more but shouldn't put it on there unless it's proven with evidence.
Seems like all these comments are to make my husband sound worse than he is....Will his risk drop?? He's doing therapy and working so hard for us it's unreal and they don't acknowledge a thing
the chair even bought emotions into it last time with comments like "I wouldn't of stayed if it was me"
....this is so twisted and not right where can we turn??
please can someone tell me this gets better and he'll come home they know that's what we both want and have maintained this all the way through with complete honesty
Can someone just reassure me please...I feel sick 24/7, keeep falling asleep, feel like I've never felt in my life it's been a year surely it's got to change soon hasn't it :( my dads just found out he's terminal too only 11-12 months to live and this is too much
how can we make this right
So unjust and depressing :( . What does the solicitor say?
Well we asked for a solicitor but they won't do anything unless there's court involved, this is why I'm lost as to who stands our side for us right now...how can untrue things legally be put on paperwork , we're trying to hard to work with them it's breaking us we're so sad, not fair on our little 1 year old suffering like this
Just wait and see what happens at the conference - when is it?
I've had so many issues with our conferences and the involvement of SS for various reasons.
I have put on another thread that my complaint is being investigated by the ombudsman.
Solicitors- yes your right, 99% of them dont get involved at CPP level. I found one who was willing to get involved, they sent a letter to the LA that ruffled feathers.
They are not allowed to write lies/assumptions and opinions in assessments. This goes against the Childrens Act, Working together to Safeguard Children and Social Work England.
Sending you support, I know how your feeling xx
I've had so many issues with our conferences and the involvement of SS for various reasons.
I have put on another thread that my complaint is being investigated by the ombudsman.
Solicitors- yes your right, 99% of them dont get involved at CPP level. I found one who was willing to get involved, they sent a letter to the LA that ruffled feathers.
They are not allowed to write lies/assumptions and opinions in assessments. This goes against the Childrens Act, Working together to Safeguard Children and Social Work England.
Sending you support, I know how your feeling xx
The call is about to happen Upset Mother but they have said it's going to PLO because my husband is "high risk"
am I going to lose my baby I'm having a breakdown I'm so scared.
i want my son, I want my husband, that's it
i thought we were making progress my heart feels shattered I'm so scared
am I going to lose my baby I'm having a breakdown I'm so scared.
i want my son, I want my husband, that's it
i thought we were making progress my heart feels shattered I'm so scared
I'm also in PLO- please try not to panic, I was distraught when it happened to me and we have just had out independent assessments done.
Now you can get a solicitor-look around and get a solicitor that is accredited by the Law Society Children Panel if you can. They will ask for your PLO letter which the SW should give you in person. This will highlight all the concerns they have and you can discuss this with your solicitor. Your solicitor can speak at your PLO meeting aswell which helps.
I imagine they will do the same to you that they did with us - an assessment with an independent social worker/psychologist. You will have a capacity to protect assessment and your OH will have an assessment on what risk he poses ro children under 18 (think its called sexual harm assessment or something).
Feel free to ask me any questions xx
Now you can get a solicitor-look around and get a solicitor that is accredited by the Law Society Children Panel if you can. They will ask for your PLO letter which the SW should give you in person. This will highlight all the concerns they have and you can discuss this with your solicitor. Your solicitor can speak at your PLO meeting aswell which helps.
I imagine they will do the same to you that they did with us - an assessment with an independent social worker/psychologist. You will have a capacity to protect assessment and your OH will have an assessment on what risk he poses ro children under 18 (think its called sexual harm assessment or something).
Feel free to ask me any questions xx
PS meant to add aswell that my OH has had a lot of issues with probation.
They assessed him as high risk if he isnt supervised around children. Medium risk with supervision and at the same time they suport the case being moved down to CIN and only want to see him on a monthly basis. Probation have no idea what they are doing and have fed a load of rubbish to SS xx
They assessed him as high risk if he isnt supervised around children. Medium risk with supervision and at the same time they suport the case being moved down to CIN and only want to see him on a monthly basis. Probation have no idea what they are doing and have fed a load of rubbish to SS xx
Thankyou, I'm just afraid
they say my son is well looked after so they have no leg to stand on to remove him do they? I'm really scared all my family saying it means removal and why would I need solicitor if no court involved....
have I done something wrong?? Am I overthinking? Will these assessments help him become less risk as he has said he'd never hurt a fly and loves his son so much he needs to come home asap I'm struggling alone
they say my son is well looked after so they have no leg to stand on to remove him do they? I'm really scared all my family saying it means removal and why would I need solicitor if no court involved....
have I done something wrong?? Am I overthinking? Will these assessments help him become less risk as he has said he'd never hurt a fly and loves his son so much he needs to come home asap I'm struggling alone
So tough. All of this. No wonder you are struggling so badly. Have you tried calling CAB for advice? Or Samaritans for support?
May things improve for you. I am sure they will, but it is the waiting and the not knowing, the fear and the inujustices, which are all so very hard to cope with.
All strength to you...
May things improve for you. I am sure they will, but it is the waiting and the not knowing, the fear and the inujustices, which are all so very hard to cope with.
All strength to you...
PLO is one step before court, even if it does go to court- a judge makes the decision not SS.
Its standard process that you are allowed a solicitor in the PLO process and you automatically get legal aid regardless of how much you earn. You and your OH will need separate solicitors from different firms which is why its worth looking now.
PLO does not mean removal, its a chance to get all the concerns out in a formal environment and make sure you get a solicitor that isnt afraid to highlight mistakes etc. Your solicitor will be your advocate now
Its sounds exactly like my situation, my daugher is 8, there are no concerns whatsoever about her and they still escalated to PLO because they really don't know what risk my OH poses. PLO gives SS the chance the wash their hands of it and pass onto someone else to do the necessary assessments because they dont want the responsibility. And my LA wouldnt fund any assessments at CPP level which I think is unlawful. PLO I think for many authorities opens up access to funding and resources that are needed.
I know its come as a big shock- please try to not let it overwhelm you xx
Its standard process that you are allowed a solicitor in the PLO process and you automatically get legal aid regardless of how much you earn. You and your OH will need separate solicitors from different firms which is why its worth looking now.
PLO does not mean removal, its a chance to get all the concerns out in a formal environment and make sure you get a solicitor that isnt afraid to highlight mistakes etc. Your solicitor will be your advocate now
Its sounds exactly like my situation, my daugher is 8, there are no concerns whatsoever about her and they still escalated to PLO because they really don't know what risk my OH poses. PLO gives SS the chance the wash their hands of it and pass onto someone else to do the necessary assessments because they dont want the responsibility. And my LA wouldnt fund any assessments at CPP level which I think is unlawful. PLO I think for many authorities opens up access to funding and resources that are needed.
I know its come as a big shock- please try to not let it overwhelm you xx
Thankyou for the kind words and advice :,)
have they allowed you to supervise? They said today they wann understand why I've stayed with him that's the only concern and to carry on what I'm doing....
will this allow us to move forward? Sorry for all the questions it sounds like you're a step ahead of us
have they allowed you to supervise? They said today they wann understand why I've stayed with him that's the only concern and to carry on what I'm doing....
will this allow us to move forward? Sorry for all the questions it sounds like you're a step ahead of us
With my case people dont know what to do because it is an unusual case, even probation dont know what to so. My OH was charged with Obscene Publications 1959 and is under probation until next month. Because of the charge- it doesnt warrant being put on the SOR or given a SHPO. The police have admitted what he did is not a sexual crime but because of the nature of it, SS are involved. It was a conversation he got involved in with no images involved. He was charged in June 2024- SS have not let him live at the house since then even though there are no legal restrictions on him. It is a big grey area and SS have literally done nothing on a CPP for 9 months which part led to the case going to PLO. All probation have tried to do is "Maps for Change" which I think is the most basic thing they can do. It just seems to me all the professionals involved havent got much experience in dealing with someone with this charge. xx
PS - They have allowed me to supervise contact from the beginning. They never did a written CIN plan with us or explained what supervising contact means. Thats another issue I have with them xx
Another thing about SS- they don't like you staying with your OH. They see it as you minimising the concerns of the professionals and risk- don't be surprised if you see this in your PLO letter. Is there anything that your OH has done - any therapy, done any courses etc..
Upset mother that's great you can supervise, it's all I hope for
my husband has probation for 2 years, he's been moved to high risk because of something he never did, and is on register 10 years but no restrictions....
is this the case with us I wonder as in reality they don't know what to do and wish to pass it onto a third party, did you find the outcomes of the 3rd party assessments to be more genuine?
the health visitor made a comment earlier "we're here for your son, parental happiness isn't our problem" I thought this was a disgrace
my husband if anything has gotten these okayed by a very stupid accident as he is so brainless, he thinks he knows how the images got there but sadly went guilty and thought this was quicker and easier way home....
he's doing Stopso therapy, a course with probation, attends all meetings, keeps saying all he cares for is us and wants to move on and how unfair it all is on family and me etc
apparently all this is because of probation putting him high risk which is absolutely insane, said he said he would "break the rules" if he went on holiday....why on earth would he say that to them ffs, lies :/ he's trying harder than he ever could
my husband has probation for 2 years, he's been moved to high risk because of something he never did, and is on register 10 years but no restrictions....
is this the case with us I wonder as in reality they don't know what to do and wish to pass it onto a third party, did you find the outcomes of the 3rd party assessments to be more genuine?
the health visitor made a comment earlier "we're here for your son, parental happiness isn't our problem" I thought this was a disgrace
my husband if anything has gotten these okayed by a very stupid accident as he is so brainless, he thinks he knows how the images got there but sadly went guilty and thought this was quicker and easier way home....
he's doing Stopso therapy, a course with probation, attends all meetings, keeps saying all he cares for is us and wants to move on and how unfair it all is on family and me etc
apparently all this is because of probation putting him high risk which is absolutely insane, said he said he would "break the rules" if he went on holiday....why on earth would he say that to them ffs, lies :/ he's trying harder than he ever could
I had my assessment last Friday and the report won't be produced until the beginning of September. The assessor was really nice and the first thing she said to me was that she understands that I'm a victim in this. It's the non offending parent who has to pick up the pieces. No one from SS has ever said that to me xx
Aww and that is so true, I'm so scared I can't sleep, but I just read through reports and all I see is positives about me and my sons care so I think you know what if they're going to take him from anyone it will be his father not me in a worse case surely....(not that we want that)
it states on the letter "we always want to keep children with their families where it is safe and that's what we want to do here"
but also states the first meeting is very important and I can bring solicitor and a friend if needed, hope it's not intense or scary I can't take much more ????
plus we got to Greece in 13 days without father so hope they won't stop that it's all that's keeping us going (can't see them doing that they know we're going are are fine but I'm really anxious)
it states on the letter "we always want to keep children with their families where it is safe and that's what we want to do here"
but also states the first meeting is very important and I can bring solicitor and a friend if needed, hope it's not intense or scary I can't take much more ????
plus we got to Greece in 13 days without father so hope they won't stop that it's all that's keeping us going (can't see them doing that they know we're going are are fine but I'm really anxious)
The meeting will be you and your solicitor, the social worker and team manager, the LA solicitor and somebody else for minute taking. In my meeting it wasn't actually a LA solicitor, it was a senior legal officer and she didn't say anything in my meeting apart from booking the next PLO meeting. You go through the PLO letter point by point and discuss it between you all and what actions are to follow. It lasted about 45 minutes xx
To be honest I'm glad I get to meet this team leader as she shoots down my assessment for a different reason all the time
But yeah apprently they're only doing it for course funding and they have "no intention to remove my child"
I know it's money but sometimes wonder if a paid solicitor will help more, I just hope one replies to me by Monday I've sent a few emails out x
But yeah apprently they're only doing it for course funding and they have "no intention to remove my child"
I know it's money but sometimes wonder if a paid solicitor will help more, I just hope one replies to me by Monday I've sent a few emails out x