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Bit of a specific question - keen for insights

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Sistersister

Member since
May 2025

4 posts

Is it a terrible idea for me as the realtive of an sex offender to date a policeman?

For context, my brother is the offender (online offences but on the more seious end). He is currently in prison not in the area I live and was also arrested in another area. I have contact with him but am still working out what our relationship will be when he leaves.

I've recently started dating and am getting on really well with someone in the police local to me. Would he be barred from having a relationship with me because of his job? It's early days right now so I don't really feel comfortable telling him my private family business but also don't want to continue and get more invested if it can never go anywhere.

I'm lucky that my brother's actions have yet to have much of a direct affect on my life, but this is an area (dating in general really) where I can forsee issues and it makes me angry.

Posted Sun August 3, 2025 1:22pmReport post

Devestatedwife

Member since
October 2023

79 posts

Hi ,



I don't have any experience at all in what you are asking. But I would say no . I don't see why it would effect his job as a police man . You have done nothing wrong .



I work with children in my job and my husband was the person who was convicted . Serious online possession .



my job hasn't been effected and thankfully my case isn't public so they aren't even aware of what has happened

Posted Sun August 3, 2025 1:42pmReport post

Sistersister

Member since
May 2025

4 posts

I also work with children and it hasn't affected my job at all. But I'm just aware that the police go through a very high level of vetting when they go in for promotion. More than just an enhanced DBS. I completely understand if they wouldn't want to be put under extra scrutiny if it can be avoided. But maybe I am just catastrophising.

Posted Sun August 3, 2025 1:54pm
Edited Sun August 3, 2025 1:55pmReport post

Devestatedwife

Member since
October 2023

79 posts

It's your brother it's not you . You don't even live with your brother so I honestly don't see it even coming up in any checks ??

Posted Sun August 3, 2025 2:13pmReport post

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

413 posts

It will probably come up on the deeper level of checks they have. I went for a job based in a police station (not a police job) a long time ago and my brother in law's conviction from many years ago for something very petty had to be disclosed. However, it wouldn't stop the promotion etc actually happening unless it's a job for like MI5 or something and even then hopefully not

Posted Sun August 3, 2025 2:52pmReport post

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

224 posts

He will already know. He probably checks out anyone he dates!!!!

Posted Sun August 3, 2025 11:37pmReport post

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

413 posts

I doubt he would already know as he'd get sacked for misuse of the systems. Where I work it's all tracked

Posted Mon August 4, 2025 12:06amReport post

Elliott

Member since
December 2023

45 posts

I agree - he would be dismissed for accessing certain databases for personal use. All tracked where I work as well

Posted Mon August 4, 2025 8:39amReport post

26a20

Member since
December 2024

167 posts

I don't think being in a relationship with a police officer as the relative of an offender would be an issue, after all something like a quarter of the adult population has a criminal record for something or other.

The only caveat to this would be if the police officer was professional involved with the offender ie involved in the initial investigation, MOSOVO team.

Posted Wed August 6, 2025 8:38pmReport post

26a20

Member since
December 2024

167 posts

I don't think being in a relationship with a police officer as the relative of an offender would be an issue, after all something like a quarter of the adult population has a criminal record for something or other.

The only caveat to this would be if the police officer was professional involved with the offender ie involved in the initial investigation, MOSOVO team.

Posted Wed August 6, 2025 8:39pmReport post

Quick exit