Refusal to get help / solicitor.
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My husband was arrested and released under investigation on 5th June. I was in complete shock and while they triaged and searched the house they spoke to me about adding bail conditions for him to not be allowed back to my house (where I live with my daughter, and him as her step father). Apparently I agreed to this, and may well have but completely blank when I try to remember any conversation I had at that time.
Under their advice and initial shock / reactions from family I cut contact. In response my husband attempted to take his own life. I ended up twice attending with police and ambulance. Since then I feel I have to support him with his mental and physical health as he is very vulnerable and I am scared he will end his life if I don't help him.
the problem is he refuses to engage in any conversation about the charges. He won't appoint a solicitor. He won't engage with charities he's been signposted to. He won't discuss it with counsellors he's been in contact with. It's a complete head-in-sand situation. I just don't know what to do.
I am trying to get him to attend addiction therapy / psychotherapy after being under the intensive mental health team for as long as they could keep him. He just seems to want to pretend it isn't happening. Is that a sign of guilt? I just don't know.
Under their advice and initial shock / reactions from family I cut contact. In response my husband attempted to take his own life. I ended up twice attending with police and ambulance. Since then I feel I have to support him with his mental and physical health as he is very vulnerable and I am scared he will end his life if I don't help him.
the problem is he refuses to engage in any conversation about the charges. He won't appoint a solicitor. He won't engage with charities he's been signposted to. He won't discuss it with counsellors he's been in contact with. It's a complete head-in-sand situation. I just don't know what to do.
I am trying to get him to attend addiction therapy / psychotherapy after being under the intensive mental health team for as long as they could keep him. He just seems to want to pretend it isn't happening. Is that a sign of guilt? I just don't know.
I don't think you can assume anything from your OH's behaviour, especially as he has already shown what a state he is in mentally. I hate to have to say this but all you can do really is be patient and wait to see if he settles down and starts to be able to think and act clearly. It's such early days for you, although it probably feels like a lifetime.
Of course you feel as if you need to support him when he is in such a vulnerable state and must be very worried about him, but I hope you are staying alert to any inkling that he is using his mental state to keep you in his life. That decision must be yours alone and for your reasons, not because you're scared to walk away for fear of what he might do. This is terribly hard for you, and impossible for anyone to say definitely what is going on in your OH's mind at the moment. He is certainly full of fear but the cause of that fear is impossible to predict as I can think of reasons to do with both guilt and innocence. Many on here will describe how at first their person refused to discuss anything with them, or denied strongly that they had done anything wrong, only to confess to things as time went by and then agree to seek some help.
PS You might like to repost on the General Discussion section of the forum as that gets far more traffic than here.
Of course you feel as if you need to support him when he is in such a vulnerable state and must be very worried about him, but I hope you are staying alert to any inkling that he is using his mental state to keep you in his life. That decision must be yours alone and for your reasons, not because you're scared to walk away for fear of what he might do. This is terribly hard for you, and impossible for anyone to say definitely what is going on in your OH's mind at the moment. He is certainly full of fear but the cause of that fear is impossible to predict as I can think of reasons to do with both guilt and innocence. Many on here will describe how at first their person refused to discuss anything with them, or denied strongly that they had done anything wrong, only to confess to things as time went by and then agree to seek some help.
PS You might like to repost on the General Discussion section of the forum as that gets far more traffic than here.