How do these men and us cope
Notifications OFF
I really really looking for some positives!!
So my son was outed by media and we had catastrophic consequences from this, my son was removed from area for protection, he and us as a family were petrified.
His offender officer has said to move.out of area and was working on emergency housing... this was completely useless as no houses and even if there were he would be assigned a HMO placement with people being released from prison and they are in such undesirable areas and if he was outed there it would definitely be a risk of harm. So we have taken the route of privately renting but dreaded him getting refused due to criminal record/media reports as stay in a b & b long term is not achievable, what happens if he keeps getting refused? His officer has said we are handing out tents due to housing crisis and I just sat there and cried!
My son has autism, high functioning, has never been away from us and now his new life looks like we'll see each possibly monthly and he is struggling, I'm trying to hard to keep things positive and saying we can be facetiming all day if that what he wants and that this situation isn't forever but in reality it is forever and he is very conscious of this.
Hes not returning back to education due to his safety and jobs are looking bleak.
Ladies and gents please give this very sad mummy something to look forward too x x x
So my son was outed by media and we had catastrophic consequences from this, my son was removed from area for protection, he and us as a family were petrified.
His offender officer has said to move.out of area and was working on emergency housing... this was completely useless as no houses and even if there were he would be assigned a HMO placement with people being released from prison and they are in such undesirable areas and if he was outed there it would definitely be a risk of harm. So we have taken the route of privately renting but dreaded him getting refused due to criminal record/media reports as stay in a b & b long term is not achievable, what happens if he keeps getting refused? His officer has said we are handing out tents due to housing crisis and I just sat there and cried!
My son has autism, high functioning, has never been away from us and now his new life looks like we'll see each possibly monthly and he is struggling, I'm trying to hard to keep things positive and saying we can be facetiming all day if that what he wants and that this situation isn't forever but in reality it is forever and he is very conscious of this.
Hes not returning back to education due to his safety and jobs are looking bleak.
Ladies and gents please give this very sad mummy something to look forward too x x x
Oh my, no wonder you feel so hopeless and unless someone has been in exactly the same situation with all you are dealing with, we can only offer platitudes and stories about situations of our own which may resemble yours in some ways - but not quite the same. For example, for us (waiting for charges so no idea what lies ahead) our son is much older and if things become too awful for him we have people he could go and stay with and we could support him financially if he loses his job.....also he is far more able to look after himself due to his age and general life experiences but if he was still a teenager or in his 20's I dread to think how he would cope.
So not much help and certainly no platitudes from me at the moment but I hope somebody who does mirror all your current experiences will come along and have a chat with you. All I can do really is send you a big hug, say you are not alone, we are an army of firece women on here, and I'm happy to talk with you privately if that would help. I'm much older than you (although probably not much wiser!) and happy to just be a maternal type of shoulder to cry on any time and about anything. I have relied on that myself over our past 3 years waiting for our nightmare to unfold. Lots of supportive love to you and I will say a prayer of protection for your boy whenever he crosses my mind xx
So not much help and certainly no platitudes from me at the moment but I hope somebody who does mirror all your current experiences will come along and have a chat with you. All I can do really is send you a big hug, say you are not alone, we are an army of firece women on here, and I'm happy to talk with you privately if that would help. I'm much older than you (although probably not much wiser!) and happy to just be a maternal type of shoulder to cry on any time and about anything. I have relied on that myself over our past 3 years waiting for our nightmare to unfold. Lots of supportive love to you and I will say a prayer of protection for your boy whenever he crosses my mind xx
Speechless :o
Absolutely horrific, and even more so as he has autism.
You both need help. Can we, the women on the forum, brainstorm where you could turn?
I can start....
*Autism organisations
*Disability rights sector
*CAB
*Stop it now helpline
*GP
Who can suggest other support here? Please, let's see what we can come up with to help this family
Absolutely horrific, and even more so as he has autism.
You both need help. Can we, the women on the forum, brainstorm where you could turn?
I can start....
*Autism organisations
*Disability rights sector
*CAB
*Stop it now helpline
*GP
Who can suggest other support here? Please, let's see what we can come up with to help this family
Could NACRO help ?
Will message you. My heart aches for you all.
It's absolutely horrible isn't it , and you feel so helpless , is it an option for you yourself to relocate so he can move qith you and be safe a fresh start for all is that an option? I know it isn't for everyone and the fear of being outed again is a constant worry I hope you can get some help soon enough and your son can find a safe home xx
I might also consider changing his name a bit down the line; he'll still be accountable to SOR and DBS checks etc but it might be easier to rent properties and look for work.
I am sorry this is happening to you.
xx
I am sorry this is happening to you.
xx
I am so sorry you are going through this. I dont have any real answers or advice but I just want to send you some love and let you know you are not alone!
So many different individual struggles in this battle. This was also one of my possible worst nightmares - he didn't have to move on the end and my heart utterly breaks for what you're having to endure. I was a mess at the potential situation, you're living the reality so here, standing beside in solidarity but also sorting with yoh and holding your hand.
I send you love and I don't know how you're doing it strength but you're doing it and I admire you for it x
I send you love and I don't know how you're doing it strength but you're doing it and I admire you for it x
Excuse the typos because there's loads - so sorry you're in this situation x
Firstly let me say how sorry I am that this is happening to yourself and your son. I read your original post with increasing horror as you outlined the escalating situation and backlash from your community.
It has taken a while too reply to this post as I wanted to make sure what I wrote was worded correctly, I know some of my posts can come across as overly factual, unempathetic and occasionally even upsetting and I didn’t want what I’m about to write to come across that way.
I am in no way trying to downplay the awfulness of the situation, nobody should be forced to flee their home for their own safety but I think though it may not seem it now what has happened could end up being beneficial to your son in the long term once the initial difficulties of finding stable housing are sorted.
As a high functioning autistic male myself I know that I am only able to grow as an individual when put into situations which take me outside my comfort zone and whilst this is typical of everyone I think ND individuals often need to be forced into these situations by others otherwise we would carry on for years at a time stuck in our carefully routined ruts. Its only now as a middle-aged man that I realise the amount of additional support and pushing from my parents that was needed to get me doing things that most would consider normal adulting.
As I said I acknowledge that your son has been forced into living away from home in the most hideous way and I know this post does nothing to help with the immediate housing situation but hopefully there will be a positive as your son becomes a more capable and independent adult.
It has taken a while too reply to this post as I wanted to make sure what I wrote was worded correctly, I know some of my posts can come across as overly factual, unempathetic and occasionally even upsetting and I didn’t want what I’m about to write to come across that way.
I am in no way trying to downplay the awfulness of the situation, nobody should be forced to flee their home for their own safety but I think though it may not seem it now what has happened could end up being beneficial to your son in the long term once the initial difficulties of finding stable housing are sorted.
As a high functioning autistic male myself I know that I am only able to grow as an individual when put into situations which take me outside my comfort zone and whilst this is typical of everyone I think ND individuals often need to be forced into these situations by others otherwise we would carry on for years at a time stuck in our carefully routined ruts. Its only now as a middle-aged man that I realise the amount of additional support and pushing from my parents that was needed to get me doing things that most would consider normal adulting.
As I said I acknowledge that your son has been forced into living away from home in the most hideous way and I know this post does nothing to help with the immediate housing situation but hopefully there will be a positive as your son becomes a more capable and independent adult.
So sorry for what you are going through. I have no words of advice other than take each day at a time. Hugs xx
26a20 your words actually resonate with me and my 17yr old son. Is 1st yr of college as been ruined with what he's dealing with. To point he's had to change A levels and no chance of getting into a local university. A straight A student at school doesn't go to struggling so for us the impact is obvious as well as potential PTSD. We always worried about him going to university more so if away from home, but now that will be his only option. I dred the day but then again it may be a positive for him who knows. Just need this nightmare over first.
26a20 your words actually resonate with me and my 17yr old son. Is 1st yr of college as been ruined with what he's dealing with. To point he's had to change A levels and no chance of getting into a local university. A straight A student at school doesn't go to struggling so for us the impact is obvious as well as potential PTSD. We always worried about him going to university more so if away from home, but now that will be his only option. I dred the day but then again it may be a positive for him who knows. Just need this nightmare over first.