Horrified :(
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So had the PLO today to have a psychological assessment done on my husband.
They want a list from us both of viable carers?? Why?? They said my care is no concern, I'm broken I need my little boy. Is this normal process? :(
I have to sign to say I'll do this list and I don't want to scare my family they'll think I'm losing my baby, has this happened to other people having to do this?
Also long shot has anyone had assessments done by Alex Marshall ? Think they place is called Parsons Marshall or something that does the course...any positive experiences? Anything we can hold on to?
I've done absolutely nothing wrong at all, this is horrifying, we're going Greece tomorrow and I'm too deflated to finish my packing or anything.
any happy endings from experience? Thankyou
this is making me unwell I can't live in this fear any more.
They want a list from us both of viable carers?? Why?? They said my care is no concern, I'm broken I need my little boy. Is this normal process? :(
I have to sign to say I'll do this list and I don't want to scare my family they'll think I'm losing my baby, has this happened to other people having to do this?
Also long shot has anyone had assessments done by Alex Marshall ? Think they place is called Parsons Marshall or something that does the course...any positive experiences? Anything we can hold on to?
I've done absolutely nothing wrong at all, this is horrifying, we're going Greece tomorrow and I'm too deflated to finish my packing or anything.
any happy endings from experience? Thankyou
this is making me unwell I can't live in this fear any more.
Yes this is the standard process in PLO and I had to go through it. Its incase your case does go to court and the judge will look at placing your child with family/friends first which is why they want names on file and the SW will have to do assessments with these nominated people. Thats only if the judge sees removal as the only option. Its the judge who makes the decision not SS.
In my PLO - the team manager said we dont want it to go to court and the names are just to put on file.
I said to my solicitor- friends that live in the vacinity of my daughters school literally dont have capacity to house an additional child. If we start looking further away then it means she would have to move school which will impact her massively.
Its awful what they put you through as the non offending parent.
My independent assessment was with a psychologist from a different LA which is the standard process- they are not allowed to be from the same LA. She did ask me if I feel like I'm being judged. I asked her how often do cases like this go to court, she said not very often and it only does if risks are not manageable. She did say our case is unusual because OH isn't on the SOR or given a SHPO.
SS have put their own restrictions on our lives and have essentially overriden the legal outcome xx
In my PLO - the team manager said we dont want it to go to court and the names are just to put on file.
I said to my solicitor- friends that live in the vacinity of my daughters school literally dont have capacity to house an additional child. If we start looking further away then it means she would have to move school which will impact her massively.
Its awful what they put you through as the non offending parent.
My independent assessment was with a psychologist from a different LA which is the standard process- they are not allowed to be from the same LA. She did ask me if I feel like I'm being judged. I asked her how often do cases like this go to court, she said not very often and it only does if risks are not manageable. She did say our case is unusual because OH isn't on the SOR or given a SHPO.
SS have put their own restrictions on our lives and have essentially overriden the legal outcome xx
Glad it's just kinda backup...my family have gone hysterical saying that's it I'm losing my baby.
I feel the worst mother. The suoervisor for social services was like your protect your child from anything?? I said yes. Then I got a face pulled at me when said I want a relationship. It's dreadful absolutely awful....
what would happen if my husbands psych assessment was still high risk?? Surely they can't punish me for this :/
that boy is my whole world, so cruel to the children too isn't it, would scar them for life xx
I feel the worst mother. The suoervisor for social services was like your protect your child from anything?? I said yes. Then I got a face pulled at me when said I want a relationship. It's dreadful absolutely awful....
what would happen if my husbands psych assessment was still high risk?? Surely they can't punish me for this :/
that boy is my whole world, so cruel to the children too isn't it, would scar them for life xx
I'm not sure what will happen of it comes back high- you might have to look at long term safety planning but I'm not sure. The assessment is supposed to be evidence based and from what my OH said, is that it looks at everything.
It will look at his upbringing- was he a victim of abuse himself, did he ever witness abuse. Did he have friends and a support network growing up. How did you meet, whats your relationship like. It is very intrusive but that is what is needed to get a full picture and be evidence based.
SS just look at the offence- "we don't like it, automatically assess as high risk" which is an opinion.
Are you having a capacity to protect assessment?
Yes- they do judge you for staying with your partner. Regardless of what the outcome is and what he has done. They are a horrible service to deal with.
Your independent assessor looks good in terms of looking really experienced and knowledgebale which is what you want xx
It will look at his upbringing- was he a victim of abuse himself, did he ever witness abuse. Did he have friends and a support network growing up. How did you meet, whats your relationship like. It is very intrusive but that is what is needed to get a full picture and be evidence based.
SS just look at the offence- "we don't like it, automatically assess as high risk" which is an opinion.
Are you having a capacity to protect assessment?
Yes- they do judge you for staying with your partner. Regardless of what the outcome is and what he has done. They are a horrible service to deal with.
Your independent assessor looks good in terms of looking really experienced and knowledgebale which is what you want xx
I've had a social services assessment they want to leave mine open for now and won't see if I can manage risk until his assessment comes back
what sort of responses are going to make him a higher risk he wants to get this right and he's dead nervous :/ hopefully this person is good and it comes back positive
it's all too much just can't cope now and since they've wrongly accused him of disposing of this phone they're treating him guilty until proven innocent.
hes taking me and my son and my sister to airport tomorrow (she's supervisor) and when I told them she didn't even trust me and rang my sister to confirm: she's a supervisor didn't even realise I needed permission for this?? They're still saying he said he'd break rules on holiday which he never even said but they said it's black and white in writing so must be correct. I mean what the hell
it all feels corrupt
what sort of responses are going to make him a higher risk he wants to get this right and he's dead nervous :/ hopefully this person is good and it comes back positive
it's all too much just can't cope now and since they've wrongly accused him of disposing of this phone they're treating him guilty until proven innocent.
hes taking me and my son and my sister to airport tomorrow (she's supervisor) and when I told them she didn't even trust me and rang my sister to confirm: she's a supervisor didn't even realise I needed permission for this?? They're still saying he said he'd break rules on holiday which he never even said but they said it's black and white in writing so must be correct. I mean what the hell
it all feels corrupt
We went against our solicitors advice and refused to put names forward. We had family members that were happy to be alternative carers, however we categorically did not want references being contacted I.E our family members friends or employee. Only a small amount of people know of my OH's offence as it didn't go in the media and we thought it was in our child's best interests for it to stay that way.
We explained all this and the solicitors in the meeting just said well it will delay things and our child might have to be with a foster family whilst checks are being done if worst comes to it. We had faith that it wouldn't and we're so glad we didn't 'rock the boat' now and essentially disclose to more people.
We explained all this and the solicitors in the meeting just said well it will delay things and our child might have to be with a foster family whilst checks are being done if worst comes to it. We had faith that it wouldn't and we're so glad we didn't 'rock the boat' now and essentially disclose to more people.