Sexual communication
Notifications OFF
Hi
This is my first post here, just seeking some support and wondering if anyone has been through or is going through a similar situation.
My husband was arrested on New Years eve, in front of me and our three young children. T
Hey took his current phone, an old phone and a laptop... I gave these to them, they never produced any kind of warrant and didn't give me any paperwork stating what they'd taken.
He was taken into custody and questioned on suspicion of sexual communication with a child. He had a duty solicitor and was advised to give no comment throughout the interview.
It turns out, the allegations relate to messages he'd sent to our daughter's friend's older sister, so a child actually known to us. I'm completely sickened by this and so so confused and in utter shock still. I haven't seen the messages of course but I've been told some details of the conversation.
It was a one off conversation, initiated by the child, the messages are not overtly sexual but are inappropriate, no references to sending images or arranging to meet etc.
He was released on bail with the conditions of no contact with anyone under 18, no contact with the family involved, only supervised contact with our own children.
After 28 days the bail was changed to released under investigation, with no conditions, however I'm still supervising his contact with our children.
We were given a social worker who visited on the day he was arrested and we've not seen her again since, she said to continue keeping all contact supervised at least while the bail conditions were in place, shes since told me she's closing the case as me and my husband are splitting up, but she gave no guidance on contact in the future?
So now we're in limbo, no further interviews been mentioned, no charge yet, no updates, no details of what exactly they are investigating, as I believe they should have all the evidence... unless they're waiting to see if there are further charges which can be brought depending on examination of devices. All I've been told is that this could be ongoing for months or even years?!?!
My husband is absolutely adamant there is nothing else to be found on his phones or laptop, I want to believe him... but until they're back, I just cant trust him on that.
What is the likely outcome here? If no further evidence will this go to court? What sort of sentence should I expect?
I feel confident my own children are not at risk from him but obviously understand the importance of supervising contact at the moment but will that be the case forever? Will social services open a new case again if/when hes charged?
While I'd never wish this on anyone, I hope someone is able to give some insight
Thanks
This is my first post here, just seeking some support and wondering if anyone has been through or is going through a similar situation.
My husband was arrested on New Years eve, in front of me and our three young children. T
Hey took his current phone, an old phone and a laptop... I gave these to them, they never produced any kind of warrant and didn't give me any paperwork stating what they'd taken.
He was taken into custody and questioned on suspicion of sexual communication with a child. He had a duty solicitor and was advised to give no comment throughout the interview.
It turns out, the allegations relate to messages he'd sent to our daughter's friend's older sister, so a child actually known to us. I'm completely sickened by this and so so confused and in utter shock still. I haven't seen the messages of course but I've been told some details of the conversation.
It was a one off conversation, initiated by the child, the messages are not overtly sexual but are inappropriate, no references to sending images or arranging to meet etc.
He was released on bail with the conditions of no contact with anyone under 18, no contact with the family involved, only supervised contact with our own children.
After 28 days the bail was changed to released under investigation, with no conditions, however I'm still supervising his contact with our children.
We were given a social worker who visited on the day he was arrested and we've not seen her again since, she said to continue keeping all contact supervised at least while the bail conditions were in place, shes since told me she's closing the case as me and my husband are splitting up, but she gave no guidance on contact in the future?
So now we're in limbo, no further interviews been mentioned, no charge yet, no updates, no details of what exactly they are investigating, as I believe they should have all the evidence... unless they're waiting to see if there are further charges which can be brought depending on examination of devices. All I've been told is that this could be ongoing for months or even years?!?!
My husband is absolutely adamant there is nothing else to be found on his phones or laptop, I want to believe him... but until they're back, I just cant trust him on that.
What is the likely outcome here? If no further evidence will this go to court? What sort of sentence should I expect?
I feel confident my own children are not at risk from him but obviously understand the importance of supervising contact at the moment but will that be the case forever? Will social services open a new case again if/when hes charged?
While I'd never wish this on anyone, I hope someone is able to give some insight
Thanks
Hi Pixydust
Sorry you find yourself a member of a club none of us want to join. You will find lots of support and information here and nobody is judgemental.
Like all of us you have lots of questions, and I can only offer answers based on my own experience, sorry. We had the knock 1 year ago and have heard absolutely nothing since. The process of checking devices is a specialised one and apparently many police forces are short staffed in this area. Therefore the checking process can take many months. It differs from force to force. In rare cases it is only 6 - 12 weeks, in others it can be 1- 2 years.
As for the CPS this is the body which decides if the police have enough evidence to prosecute an individual. They are meant to only take a couple of months to come to a decision once they have all the facts from the police (backed up by evidence from devices etc) but they can be a lot slower!
Once the CPS has made their decision then a list of charges is created by the police and sent to the person they have investigated. Sometimes this charge sheet is posted, sometimes the person is called in to the police station to be given official notification and occasionally the person receives a text message!
No 2 cases are the same and so timelines and processes do differ a great deal. I am not sure this message is going to provide you with many positives but you need to be prepared for a long time in limbo! It's horrible, try to take one day at a time, on bad days try and take one hour at a time. It is a rollercoaster of better and bad days.
Stay strong and look after yourself and your children.
Sorry you find yourself a member of a club none of us want to join. You will find lots of support and information here and nobody is judgemental.
Like all of us you have lots of questions, and I can only offer answers based on my own experience, sorry. We had the knock 1 year ago and have heard absolutely nothing since. The process of checking devices is a specialised one and apparently many police forces are short staffed in this area. Therefore the checking process can take many months. It differs from force to force. In rare cases it is only 6 - 12 weeks, in others it can be 1- 2 years.
As for the CPS this is the body which decides if the police have enough evidence to prosecute an individual. They are meant to only take a couple of months to come to a decision once they have all the facts from the police (backed up by evidence from devices etc) but they can be a lot slower!
Once the CPS has made their decision then a list of charges is created by the police and sent to the person they have investigated. Sometimes this charge sheet is posted, sometimes the person is called in to the police station to be given official notification and occasionally the person receives a text message!
No 2 cases are the same and so timelines and processes do differ a great deal. I am not sure this message is going to provide you with many positives but you need to be prepared for a long time in limbo! It's horrible, try to take one day at a time, on bad days try and take one hour at a time. It is a rollercoaster of better and bad days.
Stay strong and look after yourself and your children.
Hi,
These offences vary so much around contents of chat, if pictures were sent and if there were any plans to meet etc.
Also depends if there is a victim or a decoy used.
If one off you may be in for a wait as they cant seem to decide what to do in one off cases- my husbands was a single chat with another adult about minors and 14 months on still nothing except the IO has said she feels that not enough to charge but not had NFA yet or caution or charges so its just a waiting game.
Ttkit
These offences vary so much around contents of chat, if pictures were sent and if there were any plans to meet etc.
Also depends if there is a victim or a decoy used.
If one off you may be in for a wait as they cant seem to decide what to do in one off cases- my husbands was a single chat with another adult about minors and 14 months on still nothing except the IO has said she feels that not enough to charge but not had NFA yet or caution or charges so its just a waiting game.
Ttkit
Hi Pixydust
So sorry that you've found yourself in this position especially with children involved I feel for you. It's right to say all cases are different but it seems to me many people have been waiting 'under investigation' as I have been. It has taken the police 2 and a half years to finally take my husband to court.
I'd be surprised if it's less than a year, the police seem to be overwhelmed with these cases and the forensic investigation process is long.
This forum is at least a safe space to vent and get support, you are truly not alone xx
So sorry that you've found yourself in this position especially with children involved I feel for you. It's right to say all cases are different but it seems to me many people have been waiting 'under investigation' as I have been. It has taken the police 2 and a half years to finally take my husband to court.
I'd be surprised if it's less than a year, the police seem to be overwhelmed with these cases and the forensic investigation process is long.
This forum is at least a safe space to vent and get support, you are truly not alone xx
Pixydust: Limbo-land is a horrid place to be, isn't it. But I'm surprised you haven't been given a list of the devices taken. We were - and a warrant was shown too - at the time of the 'knock'. Our devices were 'triaged' - so my phone/computers were returned fairly quickly. Only two devices were kept for a 'deep scan' - which, as others have said, can take AGES as there's a huge backlog.
I'm sorry your family is split up because of this - but you are not alone.
I'm sorry your family is split up because of this - but you are not alone.
Hi pixie. I am exactly where you are at the moment , I too have separated from my now ex husband as I can't live with a man who sends they type of messages he sent to what he thought were 14 year old girls ,
he too has just had his bail changed like yours , and it's crap as I just have to sit and wait and wait , he was chased down by a group of vigilantes and they read out some of the chat logs , the police the only time they spoken to me advised they are bad , and all he keeps saying is "I don't know " why I did it ,
I try and stay strong for my children.( they are not his) but some days are harder than others as you can't just turn your love off xx
he too has just had his bail changed like yours , and it's crap as I just have to sit and wait and wait , he was chased down by a group of vigilantes and they read out some of the chat logs , the police the only time they spoken to me advised they are bad , and all he keeps saying is "I don't know " why I did it ,
I try and stay strong for my children.( they are not his) but some days are harder than others as you can't just turn your love off xx