Family and Friends Forum

I'm sorry to hear what your going through ????

Unfortunately ss only see what's in front of them. All I can really say is I'd get a very good solicitor and let a judge decide ss can't make a decision but a judge can. If obviously the judge says your husband is too high risk you then have another battle a ss would deam you unable to protect Unfortunately its a vicious circle.

What id also like to say is this you are strong enough to bring your daughter up alone don't ever think you can't us mums have a way of coping and to be honest your husband is at fault he needs to remove himself from the family home .

Take care it's alot your going through x

The ?? Is a sad face don't know why it does that

What do you think needs to happen for the risk your husband poses to your daughter to be considered low? As your child has been mentioned in these conversations their time together will (in my opinion) always have to be supervised.
If I remember correctly, your daughter is incredibly young and that makes her even more vulnerable. Think very carefully about your decisions, research as much as possible and have faith in yourself. Sometimes life doesn't work out the way we had planned it to but it can still be a good life xxx

Unfortunately in SS eyes. Your partner has shown risky behaviour; some people act on this; some don't. They have no way of telling one group from the other. So the only way they can be completely sure it won't happen is to reduce the risk. The harm that would be caused to a child if they were to be abused by that person is catastrophic and they don't want even a slight chance of that happening. The only way to do this is reduce the likelihood-so things like supervised access only, not living in the family home will reduce that risk. You will need to have a really robust safety plan that covers all scenarios. If you are in a relationship with your person; there is the worry you may be compromised or conflicted and not be able to enforce these at a level that satisfies them that it will never happen.

Also you may not be able or willing to live with these restrictions and safety plan as it is for some people quite a lot to take on practically and emotionally, and some peoples relationships cannot survive that level of underlying mistrust/constant vigilance which may be why they are suggesting you end the relationship.


It's a really tough position to be in and I wish you all the best of luck I think once someone has crossed that line and you are under investigation with social services in place - everything does change. It's just working to try get as close to a safe new version of normal.

There is a long road ahead but hopefully someone who is further along and managed it will be on soon to give guidance and experience.

What was the outcome of the meeting you had with them? Is your child in a CIN plan or anything, or do they want to do any further assessments? SS tend to frown upon people staying with their OH's and they will probably wait until he is charged so they know what they are facing, the fact that your child is so young and can't speak means risk is harder to manage (in their eyes anyway).



It's best to start being proactive now- do you have a support network? Write your own safety plan, parents protect do a template that you can download. Put it in writing all the boundaries you are going to put in place and who will support you with this. Show that you are taking this seriously.

Research things that you can do as your child gets older and starts talking etc. NCPCC pants work and things like that. The parents protect website do short videos on recognising signs of abuse, this is for your own knowledge.

Unfortunately it doesn't take SS much to turn round stand say you are minimising risks and not taking concerns onboard.

if you are showing that your proactive and taking it seriously then they can't use that against you xx