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Torn and confused

Member since
August 2025

2 posts

hey everyone been lurking here for a while and decided to post today! My OH my partner of 18 years was arrested two years ago and only just gone to civil court and was handed a 5 year sexual harm prevention order and on the register for 5 years for online communication with a Police decoy he still denys it and I'm very torn between if he did it or not any way there's been many mixed opinions from friends and family it was in the media, i feel as though people are branding me with the same brush as we are a guy couple help !!!

Posted Mon September 1, 2025 11:11amReport post

Stitch123

Member since
March 2025

49 posts

Oh sorry to hear this... we've been waiting over 2 years and still haven't heard anything it's pure torture. At least you can move on from it and try ignore people around you and what there saying or thinking. It will blow over and they will have something else to talk about next week . (:

Posted Mon September 1, 2025 12:38pmReport post

suziesweet

Member since
March 2025

43 posts

5 years waiting here, it's horrible but the way you're being treated is shocking!! You did nothing wrong I'm so sorry and wish you all the best x

Posted Mon September 1, 2025 2:34pmReport post

Thrudark123@

Member since
August 2025

11 posts

It's so bad that it takes so long to get to the point of charges or court. Whilst I appreciate it must take time to analyse devices in my situation my father has admitted what he was accused of by the vigilantes so I don't understand why the evidence they provide isn't taken into consideration by the police!? We are only 3 months in waiting with no update at all from the police and it's torture waiting not knowing etc I can't imagine waiting 2 years ????????

Posted Mon September 1, 2025 3:22pmReport post

Stitch123

Member since
March 2025

49 posts

I would imagine if he's admitted it then it will probably be quicker but I know that's not always the case they will want evidence in case he changes his plea etc so they have something to back them up. /: but yeah we've been waiting 2 years and 2 month now, crime in this area is quite bad so I can imagine it just getting put at the back of the pile

Posted Wed September 3, 2025 7:09amReport post

Torn and confused

Member since
August 2025

2 posts

Hey guys thanks for the comments it's so crap that we are all here in this situation, my mind changes on a regular basis hourly even, i find it so difficult that people who aren't in our shoes are so fast to judge I'm thinking of doing the inform course so I can have a better understanding of it all has anyone had opinions from family and friends making it even worse for you xxxmuch love to all

Posted Wed September 3, 2025 8:48amReport post

Stitch123

Member since
March 2025

49 posts

Iv been very lucky my OH is well liked and he is going not guilty and everyone is backing him friends family customers etc it's a very complicated case with very little evidence... but if they did have anything to say then I wouldn't tolerate it, it's bad enough going through this never mind people being negative and nasty. End of the day every case is different, no1 asked for this, and no1 is on your place so hasn't got a right to judge or have an opinion.

it gets easier with time, you learn to live with it and get use to the waiting... shouldn't be like this but unfortunately the justice system is crap x

Posted Fri September 5, 2025 6:59pmReport post

Quick exit