Any middle ground?
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Background: Partner arrested a little over a year ago for IIOC, all previously known material. We have young children so SS involved from the start. I have been fully cooperative with them, which has been recognised, but things were escalated to CP plan and later PLO due to his ongoing drug use an an associated opinion from SS that he didn't engage enough in the process (even though all boxes were ticked). In the last 6 months he has overcome the drug addiction and has passed all rehabilitation activities etc. with a great deal of praise for his engagement. He was sentenced very leniently to a community order, 5 yrs SOR, only restriction is devices to be monitored (nothing about contact) and the court risk assessment came out very low.
We are due to undergo a risk assessment/ protective parent assessment in a few weeks as part of the PLO process. We are still legally married, and I have provided the vast majority of supervision (4x per week) as we don't have family nearby - however, this is purely for the sake of the children, and I don't wish to pursue a romantic relationship with him again and will seek divorce down the line. However, it seems like the assessments assume we will be a couple and he will move back in with me?
Does anyone have experience of these assessment in a scenario that's not so black and white? I wish for our children to still have a relationship with him and to go-parent amicably, but I don't want to give up my whole life by being tied to someone I no longer love. Is there any chance he will be given some measure of unsupervised access? Or are the only options he moves back and I'm a prison guard forever, or I cut contact and then the children only see him rarely, destroying the parental relationship?
If I mention that we won't stay together during the assessment, will that affect the outcome?
grateful for any guidance!
We are due to undergo a risk assessment/ protective parent assessment in a few weeks as part of the PLO process. We are still legally married, and I have provided the vast majority of supervision (4x per week) as we don't have family nearby - however, this is purely for the sake of the children, and I don't wish to pursue a romantic relationship with him again and will seek divorce down the line. However, it seems like the assessments assume we will be a couple and he will move back in with me?
Does anyone have experience of these assessment in a scenario that's not so black and white? I wish for our children to still have a relationship with him and to go-parent amicably, but I don't want to give up my whole life by being tied to someone I no longer love. Is there any chance he will be given some measure of unsupervised access? Or are the only options he moves back and I'm a prison guard forever, or I cut contact and then the children only see him rarely, destroying the parental relationship?
If I mention that we won't stay together during the assessment, will that affect the outcome?
grateful for any guidance!
Hello,
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends Forum. We wanted to contribute to your thread as it seems you have not received a response just yet, but we hope that some of our Forum users will be able to respond to offer you some support soon. Our Forum is quite active, so occasionally posts may be missed, but we encourage you to check in frequently for a reply, as responses often come in with time.
In the meantime, if you have not already reached out, I would gently encourage you to contact our Stop It Now helpline. It is a free, confidential, and anonymous service available on 0808 1000 900. Our trained advisors are there to listen, explore your situation with you, and provide tailored support. You can find more information about the helpline and chat service, as well as our opening hours here.
We hope that someone will respond to your post soon, so that you can receive some support from our Forum users.
Take care,
The Forum Team
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends Forum. We wanted to contribute to your thread as it seems you have not received a response just yet, but we hope that some of our Forum users will be able to respond to offer you some support soon. Our Forum is quite active, so occasionally posts may be missed, but we encourage you to check in frequently for a reply, as responses often come in with time.
In the meantime, if you have not already reached out, I would gently encourage you to contact our Stop It Now helpline. It is a free, confidential, and anonymous service available on 0808 1000 900. Our trained advisors are there to listen, explore your situation with you, and provide tailored support. You can find more information about the helpline and chat service, as well as our opening hours here.
We hope that someone will respond to your post soon, so that you can receive some support from our Forum users.
Take care,
The Forum Team