Disclosure to nursery
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Hi all
brief background. We had SS involvement until daughter was 18 months. Then case closed with no plan in place. Husband has SHPO and SOR. He has lived with us all the time.
receny we moved area and we are navigating a new VISOR team.
today we have been told they want to disclose to my daughters nursery. Im terrified as previously (with childminders) she has had to leave a setting after disclosure. Which sucks. I don't want that to happen again. She is so settled and happy and I'm terrified they will kick her out.
I also need my husband to be able to do occasional pick ups and drop offs (I do 99% anyway). Has anyone been able to make this happen? Because honestly it's insane to me that he has been told he is fine to go on days out and softays/parks ect but now may have to stop collecting his kid from a building filled with trained safeguarding professionals.
any advise and stories welcome.
thanks
brief background. We had SS involvement until daughter was 18 months. Then case closed with no plan in place. Husband has SHPO and SOR. He has lived with us all the time.
receny we moved area and we are navigating a new VISOR team.
today we have been told they want to disclose to my daughters nursery. Im terrified as previously (with childminders) she has had to leave a setting after disclosure. Which sucks. I don't want that to happen again. She is so settled and happy and I'm terrified they will kick her out.
I also need my husband to be able to do occasional pick ups and drop offs (I do 99% anyway). Has anyone been able to make this happen? Because honestly it's insane to me that he has been told he is fine to go on days out and softays/parks ect but now may have to stop collecting his kid from a building filled with trained safeguarding professionals.
any advise and stories welcome.
thanks
Hi,
do you still have your report from ss closing the case? I didn't disclose to my daughters first nursery but I did disclose to her preschool as it is linked to the school and it was on their registration form. Also, we knew we wanted to go back to ss for family reunification. Ss have agreed to unsupervised contact in our case so this will include drop off and collection from school when necessary. This is outlined in our closing report.
This may not be everyone's view but I wanted her preschool to be aware because she spends more waking time within school than at home so I wanted eyes on her for any signs that she may be struggling with the transition. It's also good from a safeguarding perspective if they are aware of anything out of the ordinary at home.
Neither nursery that my daughter has been to has allowed parents inside the building at drop off and collection and only your own child is sent out to you so to me it seems that it is for safeguarding your daughter rather than other children within the setting xxx
do you still have your report from ss closing the case? I didn't disclose to my daughters first nursery but I did disclose to her preschool as it is linked to the school and it was on their registration form. Also, we knew we wanted to go back to ss for family reunification. Ss have agreed to unsupervised contact in our case so this will include drop off and collection from school when necessary. This is outlined in our closing report.
This may not be everyone's view but I wanted her preschool to be aware because she spends more waking time within school than at home so I wanted eyes on her for any signs that she may be struggling with the transition. It's also good from a safeguarding perspective if they are aware of anything out of the ordinary at home.
Neither nursery that my daughter has been to has allowed parents inside the building at drop off and collection and only your own child is sent out to you so to me it seems that it is for safeguarding your daughter rather than other children within the setting xxx
My daughters nursery know what my husbands been accused of(IIOCs). She's on a CIN plan and we have an open SS case so I knew I'd have to tell them. They've been really supportive! But my husband does not collect our daughter and probably never will (although he lives 35 miles away in our home and cant drive). It makes me sad that he doesn't get to see how settled in she is there and he is missing soo many milestones but this is part of the punishment in a way.
I'm just so happy that her nursery have been so supportive and the SS have visited her nursery and been happy. I had to update them of the new accusations the other week and that felt weird!!! What's bad is I don't really know what I said. I was still unwell after the SS meeting I had and my husband telling me the update my brain was off in lala land whole autopilot was on.
I'm just so happy that her nursery have been so supportive and the SS have visited her nursery and been happy. I had to update them of the new accusations the other week and that felt weird!!! What's bad is I don't really know what I said. I was still unwell after the SS meeting I had and my husband telling me the update my brain was off in lala land whole autopilot was on.
Hi all.
so despite the police telling us they wouldn't make the disclosure yet until they reviewed the decision
and then saying if they decided to they would let us know first.
when I walked into the nursery yesterday I was confronted and told to come to the office. He is no longer allowed to be there.
I have asked them to have a think how they can support when I am away (I work globally so I am sometimes travelling) though this is rare. However my biggest thing I will need to now discuss with them is ensuring that if there was an emergency at nursery with my daughter and I was away that they can supervise him then to collect - if not I will have to move her nursery.
im just so angry. Im angry at everyone in the situation!!! I just hate that I have to keep taking my Hubbys punishment over and over again! And it is me being punished here - not him. But the police never talked to me. Never warned me and certainly didn't think about the impact on me and my daughter.
gah!!
so despite the police telling us they wouldn't make the disclosure yet until they reviewed the decision
and then saying if they decided to they would let us know first.
when I walked into the nursery yesterday I was confronted and told to come to the office. He is no longer allowed to be there.
I have asked them to have a think how they can support when I am away (I work globally so I am sometimes travelling) though this is rare. However my biggest thing I will need to now discuss with them is ensuring that if there was an emergency at nursery with my daughter and I was away that they can supervise him then to collect - if not I will have to move her nursery.
im just so angry. Im angry at everyone in the situation!!! I just hate that I have to keep taking my Hubbys punishment over and over again! And it is me being punished here - not him. But the police never talked to me. Never warned me and certainly didn't think about the impact on me and my daughter.
gah!!
Hi,
I'm sorry you're having to navigate this. It might be worth making a complaint about visor not necessarily for disclosing but for not giving you a heads up first.
In terms of nursery, have a read over their safeguarding policies and if there is nothing on there that directly links to decisions about who can be on their premises then I'd ask them to reconsider and find a way that works for him to do collections. Perhaps he could call ahead and your daughter be brought out to him or on days that he collects she has a different pick up time so your husband isn't around the other children. I'd raise the fact that there are no concerns from ss about your daughters safety with him following their extensive risk assessments of the family. I hope you manage to find a solution xxx
I'm sorry you're having to navigate this. It might be worth making a complaint about visor not necessarily for disclosing but for not giving you a heads up first.
In terms of nursery, have a read over their safeguarding policies and if there is nothing on there that directly links to decisions about who can be on their premises then I'd ask them to reconsider and find a way that works for him to do collections. Perhaps he could call ahead and your daughter be brought out to him or on days that he collects she has a different pick up time so your husband isn't around the other children. I'd raise the fact that there are no concerns from ss about your daughters safety with him following their extensive risk assessments of the family. I hope you manage to find a solution xxx
My children go to different schools.
one school is amazing, allows kids dad to attend parents evenings, plays etc and gets updates from school via apps.
other is blanket no. Which I don't understand as the schools own policies / safeguarding should mean no child is ever left alone with parents anyways.. my children's father has no SHPO either so legally nothing preventing him from entering anywhere like schools
my children's schools only know because I disclosed it. We had a social worker for 2 months and it was decided they didn't have a role anymore as I agreed to supervision and ended the relationship!
doesn't surprise me that they disclosed, but they are meant to inform the offender? As it can put them in a difficult position and sometimes the offender wants to disclose first..
one school is amazing, allows kids dad to attend parents evenings, plays etc and gets updates from school via apps.
other is blanket no. Which I don't understand as the schools own policies / safeguarding should mean no child is ever left alone with parents anyways.. my children's father has no SHPO either so legally nothing preventing him from entering anywhere like schools
my children's schools only know because I disclosed it. We had a social worker for 2 months and it was decided they didn't have a role anymore as I agreed to supervision and ended the relationship!
doesn't surprise me that they disclosed, but they are meant to inform the offender? As it can put them in a difficult position and sometimes the offender wants to disclose first..