Online safety discussions with kids
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Hi all. My tween daughter is asking more and more insistently for access to various social media and messaging apps. I know I need to have internet safety conversations with her and I've left it too late already, but honestly it's so triggering I don't know how to start.
She wasn't connected in any way with the events that brought me to this forum, so hasn't already got any knowledge from that. But knowing what I've had to learn myself in recent months, I'm really struggling to find a way to react that isn't either "NEVER NEVER NEVER" or "You have no idea how horrific the world is. Let me tell you every last morsel of it". Neither of which is anything like appropriate.
How have others managed these kinds of conversations when something is so raw to ourselves? Especially with kids who were lucky enough not to be involved with the person whose offending brought us here, so maybe don't need to be told quite as much as soon as part of a safety plan.
She wasn't connected in any way with the events that brought me to this forum, so hasn't already got any knowledge from that. But knowing what I've had to learn myself in recent months, I'm really struggling to find a way to react that isn't either "NEVER NEVER NEVER" or "You have no idea how horrific the world is. Let me tell you every last morsel of it". Neither of which is anything like appropriate.
How have others managed these kinds of conversations when something is so raw to ourselves? Especially with kids who were lucky enough not to be involved with the person whose offending brought us here, so maybe don't need to be told quite as much as soon as part of a safety plan.
Swiped the school that banned smartphones is a good documentary to watch together. I approached it around "people you don't know in real life are strangers online" and how they may bully you or ask you to do things against the rules, or that make you uncomfortable or that could get you into trouble.
I centred the conversation around bullying and violent things you don't want to see then and included sexual images/inappropriate things. Coincidentally our local police were going into schools at the same time we were going through the process and delivering staying safe online and the risks of sharing nudes/inappropriate chat so we just reinforced a lot of that.
My child doesn't have social media or a Moblie yet, I'm holding out as long as possible but will allow them in secondary -only if I have monitoring (or am also in their "friends list" so I can see what they do. They also need to agree to show me if I ask and am genuinely worried; (because sometimes parents need to make sure their kids are safe) and that might be the only way to do it. If there are things they aren't comfortable with me reading/seeing they probably shouldn't be using it or writing/seeing those things.
Im perfectly happy to take on the label of the OTT mother if it protects my child (and have them blame me when friends are querying why they're not allowed).
I centred the conversation around bullying and violent things you don't want to see then and included sexual images/inappropriate things. Coincidentally our local police were going into schools at the same time we were going through the process and delivering staying safe online and the risks of sharing nudes/inappropriate chat so we just reinforced a lot of that.
My child doesn't have social media or a Moblie yet, I'm holding out as long as possible but will allow them in secondary -only if I have monitoring (or am also in their "friends list" so I can see what they do. They also need to agree to show me if I ask and am genuinely worried; (because sometimes parents need to make sure their kids are safe) and that might be the only way to do it. If there are things they aren't comfortable with me reading/seeing they probably shouldn't be using it or writing/seeing those things.
Im perfectly happy to take on the label of the OTT mother if it protects my child (and have them blame me when friends are querying why they're not allowed).