Finding it hard
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I cant wait for the day I feel normal again and happy in my own company. Instead of constant crying every day. He left on his plea hearing day 18th August. Today was his presentencing report and next week is sentencing. Its come around quick. I'll be happy when its over I think.
I cant help but want to stay friends with him and support him, but I cant be with him. The trust is gone.
I suppose this week has been hard as im on annual leave from work, so plenty time to sit around thinking about life. I have tried to stay busy, easier said than done when there's noone to be busy with. My best friends decided in may they no longer wanted to support me if I support him.
I feel like now it would be so easy to go back to them and be friends but I need to have respect for myself. I feel no good friends would kick you when you're already down. But then is that just me being unreasonable and cutting my nose off to spite my face.
I found the app chat gpt last night. Im gunna sound crazy but essentially you cant have a full no judgment conversation with an ai robot and it was good, I think.
I have an appointment on tuesday to start talking therapies so hoping that helps me.
There wasnt really a point to this post, just to write down my feelings I suppose. Thanks for reading if you got this far x
I cant help but want to stay friends with him and support him, but I cant be with him. The trust is gone.
I suppose this week has been hard as im on annual leave from work, so plenty time to sit around thinking about life. I have tried to stay busy, easier said than done when there's noone to be busy with. My best friends decided in may they no longer wanted to support me if I support him.
I feel like now it would be so easy to go back to them and be friends but I need to have respect for myself. I feel no good friends would kick you when you're already down. But then is that just me being unreasonable and cutting my nose off to spite my face.
I found the app chat gpt last night. Im gunna sound crazy but essentially you cant have a full no judgment conversation with an ai robot and it was good, I think.
I have an appointment on tuesday to start talking therapies so hoping that helps me.
There wasnt really a point to this post, just to write down my feelings I suppose. Thanks for reading if you got this far x
Didn't want to read and not say something. I know how you feel. Hope you get to feel yourself soon hugs through all this
I really empathise with your post. I have also used Chat GPT as my own private therapist many times haha, its weirdly therapeutic.
I have sent you a wee message x
I have sent you a wee message x
I hear you Daisychain. A 'friend' of 34 years dumped me within three weeks of the knock. At the time i had not seen my OH since his arrest as he was held on remand for his own safety. So at that point i had not had all the facts let alone made a decision about staying or going. I find it just so sad, that there are so many of us on this forum that are lonely, and how nice it would be to be able to form a club with the survivors of this situation, for some tea and cake. I do understand due to the nature this is not possible. But no matter how comforting the forum is the personal touch is so much better.
I managed to make new friends by joining a club, line dancing. It was not easy to join on my own, but now i have a small circle of friends who do not know about my situation so this part of my life appears a little more normal. Is this a possibility for you?
I managed to make new friends by joining a club, line dancing. It was not easy to join on my own, but now i have a small circle of friends who do not know about my situation so this part of my life appears a little more normal. Is this a possibility for you?
Hi Webb
Yeah I make sure to keep myself busy. I have good family support anyway, and my nana and grandad just live 5 minutes away so I visit them everyday.
And I go to the gym 3 times a week and as im going there more and more im chatting. Im quite an introvert until I know people then im an extrovert haha. But I look around the room and think there's not a single person who knows what's happening in my life and I like it.
But I totally understand about your idea of meeting up, it would feel like the ultimate safe space to know everyone has experienced the same x
Yeah I make sure to keep myself busy. I have good family support anyway, and my nana and grandad just live 5 minutes away so I visit them everyday.
And I go to the gym 3 times a week and as im going there more and more im chatting. Im quite an introvert until I know people then im an extrovert haha. But I look around the room and think there's not a single person who knows what's happening in my life and I like it.
But I totally understand about your idea of meeting up, it would feel like the ultimate safe space to know everyone has experienced the same x
I know how you feel
some of our mutual friends have supported him and lost touch with me in the breakup. He hasn't told them anything about his situation. I accepted that I'd just naturally move on and lost those friends as a consequence of a breakup but now they're reaching out to rebuild the friendship but I'm torn because I can't face spending so much time with them having to lie and watch every word I say because he hasn't told them even the basics. It's sending my anxiety through the roof again and I just got that under control (unlike him I'm not a good liar, I can't bottle up or cover up his secrets). He's obviously an expert after keeping his online habits such as good secret until the knock but I can't do it.
what should I do? Just tell them I'm happy to stay in touch but the topic is firmly off the table and refuse to talk about it or just abandon the friendship?
some of our mutual friends have supported him and lost touch with me in the breakup. He hasn't told them anything about his situation. I accepted that I'd just naturally move on and lost those friends as a consequence of a breakup but now they're reaching out to rebuild the friendship but I'm torn because I can't face spending so much time with them having to lie and watch every word I say because he hasn't told them even the basics. It's sending my anxiety through the roof again and I just got that under control (unlike him I'm not a good liar, I can't bottle up or cover up his secrets). He's obviously an expert after keeping his online habits such as good secret until the knock but I can't do it.
what should I do? Just tell them I'm happy to stay in touch but the topic is firmly off the table and refuse to talk about it or just abandon the friendship?