I don't know what to do
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Hello, I'm new. I was recommended this website by my support worker.
I don't really even know how to explain properly so please bear with me.
My husband received notification his computer was hacked and his details were on a website outing him as a viewer of illegal content.
He didn't respond but he viewed the website and swore to me it was all fake and then the next day he went and reported this website to the police, after a few days the website was gone and we thought that was the end of it, he was telling the truth, I was relieved.
Skip some months and suddenly there's a knock at the door, the police with warrants, apparently the website was true and they could link it in the same way the police did. My world collapsed when I looked at him and all he could do was put his head down.
I was in ignorant bliss thinking they helped us only to find they were working behind our backs with the information from the website and I don't even know what to think of my husband, I hate him for doing this but I think I hate him more for being so stupid to go and report the website.
I don't really even know how to explain properly so please bear with me.
My husband received notification his computer was hacked and his details were on a website outing him as a viewer of illegal content.
He didn't respond but he viewed the website and swore to me it was all fake and then the next day he went and reported this website to the police, after a few days the website was gone and we thought that was the end of it, he was telling the truth, I was relieved.
Skip some months and suddenly there's a knock at the door, the police with warrants, apparently the website was true and they could link it in the same way the police did. My world collapsed when I looked at him and all he could do was put his head down.
I was in ignorant bliss thinking they helped us only to find they were working behind our backs with the information from the website and I don't even know what to think of my husband, I hate him for doing this but I think I hate him more for being so stupid to go and report the website.
I'm so sorry that you are having to endure this ordeal. It is utterly soul destroying.
I have a similar story to you, he convinced me the arrest and allegations were a misunderstanding, until 2 YEARS later I found the court summons.
I tried. I really tried to stay and believe that we could somehow overcome this... but he didn't try, he tried only to continue as if life could go on as before. Sorry, no.
I'm now living in shared accommodation, with some really excellent people, no longer feeling the weight of shame and sorrow...
I wish you well, I wish you strength and clarity.
I have a similar story to you, he convinced me the arrest and allegations were a misunderstanding, until 2 YEARS later I found the court summons.
I tried. I really tried to stay and believe that we could somehow overcome this... but he didn't try, he tried only to continue as if life could go on as before. Sorry, no.
I'm now living in shared accommodation, with some really excellent people, no longer feeling the weight of shame and sorrow...
I wish you well, I wish you strength and clarity.
Harrowing , and such a beyrayal of trust :( . Very hard to deal with.
Can u call the stop it now helpline on Monday? 08081000900.
And Samaritans any time 24/7? 116123
You will feel more supported then. And we all need support!
Go well....
Can u call the stop it now helpline on Monday? 08081000900.
And Samaritans any time 24/7? 116123
You will feel more supported then. And we all need support!
Go well....
So sorry you're here with us ruf
its an awful situation to be in but hopefully some of the stories shared will let you know you are absolutely not alone.
The early days are the hardest-it's a lot to process. Please be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time and focus on small steps you can control as it can be overwhelming. Please don't feel that you can't reach out for help it's a stressful time and most of us suffer in some way whether it's stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, low mood and sometimes PTSD from the knock. Look after your mental health, your GP can give you a sick note whilst you piece yourself back together. They can even recommend counselling and refer you for therapy.
Your work occupational health may also be able to help and make allowances for phases return/flexible working/working from home or even other forms of stress/anxiety support in the workplace.
citizens advice are good if you're worried about the practicalities of separation if you have to live apart whilst this all gets sorted out.
Take care, this is a horrible place to be; but we're all here with you doing our best and some are at the end of the journey-they've made it through and so can you.
its an awful situation to be in but hopefully some of the stories shared will let you know you are absolutely not alone.
The early days are the hardest-it's a lot to process. Please be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time and focus on small steps you can control as it can be overwhelming. Please don't feel that you can't reach out for help it's a stressful time and most of us suffer in some way whether it's stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, low mood and sometimes PTSD from the knock. Look after your mental health, your GP can give you a sick note whilst you piece yourself back together. They can even recommend counselling and refer you for therapy.
Your work occupational health may also be able to help and make allowances for phases return/flexible working/working from home or even other forms of stress/anxiety support in the workplace.
citizens advice are good if you're worried about the practicalities of separation if you have to live apart whilst this all gets sorted out.
Take care, this is a horrible place to be; but we're all here with you doing our best and some are at the end of the journey-they've made it through and so can you.