I feel so lonely
Notifications OFFso back in July this year a Sunday night there was a knock at the door turns out it was one of these on line rings. They had come to confront my partner -now ex- of nearly 10 years farther to our 2 boys 7 & 3 of talking sexually to a "14 year old girl" it was a decoy. There was about 5 of them recording in my front garden confronting him with the pages & pages of evidence. They called the police who came and arrested him then came and removed devices from the home including both children's iPads. In the space of a few hours I became a single mum not knowing if any of the past 10 years had been true! Fast forward a few weeks and he is on bail with 1 of his conditions being he can't see the kids without me supervising the visit. So every night my kids want to see their dad so we FaceTime and then 1 day a week we spend a few hours all together. I'm struggling as I believe it was never an age thing it was about attention, my family don't get it they say I'm stupid for going to see him and speaking to him. No one seems to understand I know he would never do anything to anyone. He's always been talking to other women, I always forgave him it was always the last time he wasn't going to do it again it was me he wanted. My head is constantly full of questions but also empty. My 7 year old has so many questions he's worried I'm going to do something wrong and be taken away too.
sorry for the essay nobody else seems to understand although I can talk to them they don't understand...
Hi lovely,
Thank you for being so brave and sharing this. I just wanted to say you’re not alone. I’m in that vigilante-overnight-single-solo-mum club too. And heartbreakingly there are many of us on this forum. Trying to hold it all together with school runs, whilst we work, all the mental load all the time, keeping strong for the kids, while inside breaking from the trauma and deception to our relationships. I know how frightening and unsafe those confrontations from the vigalantie parasites can feel; it shakes you right to your core and leaves you questioning everything, even if you will ever hold your head up and not scurry about again.
Please don’t apologise for writing it all down. Sometimes getting it out is the only way to breathe through it. None of this is your fault, and you’re doing the absolute best you can for your boys in an impossible situation. Many don’t understand why I too facilitate their dad being in my children’s lives, but I’m just desperate to give them as normal a life as I can for as long as possible. It’s so hard when family and friends don’t fully understand, but there are[/i] people who get it and you will find us here. Sending you strength and love, one day at a time, we’ll get through this. You are not alone. Sending Light. Ashes xx