Son arrested and on bail for iioc
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Hello, I'm new to the Forum.
We had the knock in February this year, my adult son was arrested and let out on bail.
for the last six months life has changed for ever, I feel I live a lie. I have not been able to confide in anyone, my two grown up daughters are non the wiser. I haven't told them as I didn't want them to wake up every day feeling like I do, I will tell them when I know it's going to court, but we have no idea when that could be.
i read a lady on one chat helpline who said what her son had done is only 1% of who he is , thats how I feel and I love him with all my heart.
For a while we have tried to carry on as best we could, but recently my son wound up most of his business, and has withdrawn into his room, and won't speak to me or anyone, he suffers from depression and anxiety anyway now it's 100 times worse. I really am at a loss as to what to do.
We had the knock in February this year, my adult son was arrested and let out on bail.
for the last six months life has changed for ever, I feel I live a lie. I have not been able to confide in anyone, my two grown up daughters are non the wiser. I haven't told them as I didn't want them to wake up every day feeling like I do, I will tell them when I know it's going to court, but we have no idea when that could be.
i read a lady on one chat helpline who said what her son had done is only 1% of who he is , thats how I feel and I love him with all my heart.
For a while we have tried to carry on as best we could, but recently my son wound up most of his business, and has withdrawn into his room, and won't speak to me or anyone, he suffers from depression and anxiety anyway now it's 100 times worse. I really am at a loss as to what to do.
Hi Distressedmum, I'm so sorry to read your post, I'm here too because of my son so have some understanding of what you're going through.
It must be so incredibly hard watching the son you love with all your heart withdrawing and struggling with depression and anxiety. I completely understand how much you want to help your son but you also need to look after yourself and practice self care.
What your son has done doesn't define who he is. Yes he's made some poor choices but that doesn't change who he is. He is still the son you love unconditionally.
There are usually a combination of identifiable reasons why our people do the things they do, one of the things my sons therapist taught him in their first session was that 'happy people don't offend'.
Your son may be feeling deeply ashamed of what he did and desperate to break away from what led him to do what he did in the first place and he may need help in gaining insight and understanding in this. It would be great if your son felt able to contact the LFF helpline and/or his GP but if he doesn't feel able to speak to anyone at the moment he might like to consider working through the LFF modules which he can access free through the LFF website.
I personally chose to tell my immediate family what my son had done and fact that nothing changed in the way they were around him helped him to realise how much he is loved.
Keep reaching out on here as we're here to support both you and your son.
It must be so incredibly hard watching the son you love with all your heart withdrawing and struggling with depression and anxiety. I completely understand how much you want to help your son but you also need to look after yourself and practice self care.
What your son has done doesn't define who he is. Yes he's made some poor choices but that doesn't change who he is. He is still the son you love unconditionally.
There are usually a combination of identifiable reasons why our people do the things they do, one of the things my sons therapist taught him in their first session was that 'happy people don't offend'.
Your son may be feeling deeply ashamed of what he did and desperate to break away from what led him to do what he did in the first place and he may need help in gaining insight and understanding in this. It would be great if your son felt able to contact the LFF helpline and/or his GP but if he doesn't feel able to speak to anyone at the moment he might like to consider working through the LFF modules which he can access free through the LFF website.
I personally chose to tell my immediate family what my son had done and fact that nothing changed in the way they were around him helped him to realise how much he is loved.
Keep reaching out on here as we're here to support both you and your son.