My poor kids
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Havent posted here in a long time. We are a little over 10 months post knock. Things have been pretty quiet. We had a big break from court dates and things seemed to be getting a little normal. However we just came off a court date that was filled with all of the emotions mostly due to family issues and people showing up to court for what they like to call it "the show" aka my SO getting jailed (which didnt wind up happening....for now). Two days after court he lost his job which we were not expecting or prepared for and then moving into the weekend i received a message from one of 6yo sons friends mother stating she thought my SO was trying to connect with her son on a gaming paltform (he was not at all, my 6yo just has two different accounts) however it wound up that two of my sons best friends now wont answer his calls or talk to him. He already lost very close family and now he is losing friends. This all seems so unfair. The burden me and my children bave to suffer bc of someone else's bad choices. My heart is broken for my son bc he thinks there is something wrong with him now that hes annoying and unloveable because so many close friends have stopped speaking with him. How can i even help him to make sense of this? The families have made up their minds on allowing their children to speak to mine so I cant tell him to try to fix the friendship. He has no choice but to walk away from it - how do you explain this to a 6 year old?! I thought 10 months things would start to quiet down but these past two weeks feel harder then the beginning somehow. My heart is broken, im tried of being strong. Im just exhausted - its the first time im considering moving and starting all over.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your poor son too, how can any mother stop their six year old from talking to their friend? It's beyond cruel. No advice I'm afraid, I'd probably move away for a fresh start too. Sending you so much love and support xxx
I really feel your pain. I just wanted to empathise, I have no solutions.
My husband kept his job (no media) but on the day of the knock my daughters (shellshocked from police raid whilst they were waking up) told their friends what had just happened, and there was some real nastiness from playground mums.
I drew a very clear boundary that my husband is not allowed here when the girls have friends over, which seemed to help, but there's a certain mum who makes me feel like sh1t constantly. My poor daughter felt so ostracised but things have improved 15 months on...
Sending strength x
My husband kept his job (no media) but on the day of the knock my daughters (shellshocked from police raid whilst they were waking up) told their friends what had just happened, and there was some real nastiness from playground mums.
I drew a very clear boundary that my husband is not allowed here when the girls have friends over, which seemed to help, but there's a certain mum who makes me feel like sh1t constantly. My poor daughter felt so ostracised but things have improved 15 months on...
Sending strength x
I'm presuming you and your SO are still together, but SO isn't living with you?
The parents didn't handle it well, but I can see why there might be concerns. I think all you can do is be honest, and explain what you've put in place to safeguard your own son and his friends. Accounts and devices are actually worth thinking about, to protect your son online generally as well as for safeguarding reasons regarding your SO. You could install monitoring software on all devices (I used Qustodio) and make sure your SO doesn't have any access to devices your son uses (password protect them say) or passwords to any of your son's accounts. You could then explain the above to worried parents.
Have you told your son about SO in an age appropriate way? Also I'd engage with school if you haven't already.
The parents didn't handle it well, but I can see why there might be concerns. I think all you can do is be honest, and explain what you've put in place to safeguard your own son and his friends. Accounts and devices are actually worth thinking about, to protect your son online generally as well as for safeguarding reasons regarding your SO. You could install monitoring software on all devices (I used Qustodio) and make sure your SO doesn't have any access to devices your son uses (password protect them say) or passwords to any of your son's accounts. You could then explain the above to worried parents.
Have you told your son about SO in an age appropriate way? Also I'd engage with school if you haven't already.
Me and my SO are not together - he has moved out however i allow him to come see my children when he wants and they want (which is always). i have never or would ever allow him here when my kids have their friends and we have done everything we can to seperate the childrens lives from him.
the mom made an assumption and was incorrect and my son is suffering. At this point I would move but my 11yo has so many friends and starting a new school at this age would be brutal.
no decision feels like the right one ????
the mom made an assumption and was incorrect and my son is suffering. At this point I would move but my 11yo has so many friends and starting a new school at this age would be brutal.
no decision feels like the right one ????
Sometimes it's just chosing between two bad options, isn't it? All you can do is be honest with your children and with everyone else about the whole situation and do your best.