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In disbelief

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Shockedfrog

Member since
October 2025

4 posts

Perhaps I am being hasty in posting less than 24 hours since what I now know as "the knock". But I seek help in community and solace in people who are going through the same things. My father got the knock some point yesterday, this was followed by calls to us siblings (all adults) to let us know as we have children and I am in late pregnancy.

We're not clear on the charges although if does involve uploading and distribution. Us siblings work in various safeguarding and law jobs which also is another added worry, although we keep reminding ourselves "we aren't the criminal ones!"

My father lives alone and is somewhat a recluse outside of his family man persona. He seemed so well recently too. I now fear he will try to end his life as without us, he has nothing to live for. We don't want contact and the police can't welfare check him everyday so how will we know if he is even alive??? We are scared of what else they'll find and what the next few days, weeks and months will bring. My father will never know his grandchild and I feel like I'll never see him again.

Why did he do this? What do I do now? So many unanswerable questions. I feel like I'm in a nightmare, stuck. Will my life be ruined for ever?

Posted Thu October 2, 2025 4:27pmReport post

FromTheAshes

Member since
January 2025

48 posts

Hi Shockedfrog,

I’m so sorry you’re facing this; your words could have been mine. I don’t have any answers either, only the same questions that seem impossible to live with. In my case it was my husband, who I was happily married to, his children who he risked and my world he shattered.



I wish I could say something that makes sense of it all, but I can’t. What I can say is you’re not alone in this, even though it feels unbearably isolating. Please hold onto the fact that none of this is your fault. Others in this forum have faced this for their friends, parents, children, partners. Some are new, and can barely see today let alone tomorrow. Others will bring their weath of expertiese and experience that will just give you a little hope that not all is lost.

Sending you love and light as you try to take each day one step at a time. We are here.


Posted Thu October 2, 2025 8:25pmReport post

Dad in Limbo

Member since
June 2025

41 posts

Sorry that you find yourself here, and sorry l can't offer much advice, just support.. we are 4 months on from the knock with our son.. and we still struggle with what he has brought on our family.. we were doing really well and only saying what such a nice lad he was and how proud we were of him.. then this happens.. he works in construction and every day l drop him off l am on tenterhooks expecting some sort of call through the day.. l smile every time l pick him up on a night.. we are supporting him all the way and understand better why he made the wrong decisions he did.. social media, the internet and society in general are so different from when l was his age... it is so easy these days to get dragged into the wrong space.. would strongly consider talking to someone independant and although it is difficult DO NOT think this is your fault.. although l feel it is mine every single day, ultimately our son chose this pathway.. take care

Posted Thu October 2, 2025 8:47pmReport post

Quick exit