Where to go from here
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Just needing to put my thoughts down somewhere. My person had court Wednesday there and has been sentenced with 270 hours, community payback order and a 3-year on the SOR. He was charged with two communications, one with a 12-year-old and one with a 14-year-old. He sent and decent images of himself to both and had sexual messages with him. Over the past 11 months it's been hard. I've tried to see the person he was not the person that did this crime , good man, done anything for anyone. I don't know why he done what he done. He says he was in a bad place mentally and was talking to strangers on an app and it was on this adult app that he started to speak to vigilantes who after taking the conversation onto what's app said they were under 16.
We were trying to work things through and I don't know. It just feels so much now. Should I keep on working through things? Is it good for me? Is it good for the kids? He says we are his whole world. I've asked for space this week from him, not to come and visit just so I can get my head around it again The head space to deal with the fact that he's been sentenced and now on the sor. I know there's nothing changed since he was arrested after the vigilantes appeared at the house 11 months ago, but I don't know the fact that he's now sentenced and on the sor feels so heavy on me.
I had a call from his mum this afternoon asking what had happened this morning. I hadn't seen them. He came by the house to work on his vehicle in the garage while I was out with the kids and I was to message him when I was come back so he wasn't there for us coming back. His mum said that when she got in this afternoon he was in her living room crying his heart out and then 5 minutes later disappeared in his vehicle and left his phone behind. I feel bad that's he's in this place just now but I need my space. I don't know if I can keep moving forward with him and need to start over just me and the kids.
We were trying to work things through and I don't know. It just feels so much now. Should I keep on working through things? Is it good for me? Is it good for the kids? He says we are his whole world. I've asked for space this week from him, not to come and visit just so I can get my head around it again The head space to deal with the fact that he's been sentenced and now on the sor. I know there's nothing changed since he was arrested after the vigilantes appeared at the house 11 months ago, but I don't know the fact that he's now sentenced and on the sor feels so heavy on me.
I had a call from his mum this afternoon asking what had happened this morning. I hadn't seen them. He came by the house to work on his vehicle in the garage while I was out with the kids and I was to message him when I was come back so he wasn't there for us coming back. His mum said that when she got in this afternoon he was in her living room crying his heart out and then 5 minutes later disappeared in his vehicle and left his phone behind. I feel bad that's he's in this place just now but I need my space. I don't know if I can keep moving forward with him and need to start over just me and the kids.
I'm divorced, was married to a narcissist...I've come to realise with age that you have to put yourself first otherwise you can't help or look after anyone else. Your mental health, physical health and well-being is the most important thing. If you can't be there for yourself and you won't fully be there for the ones that truly need you.
I always thought I was putting my kids first through my relationship and should have divorced a loooooonng time ago, if I had none of this would have happened.
main thing is you....put yours,eg first and really think about yourself and your future...can you ever look past what he has done.
I always thought I was putting my kids first through my relationship and should have divorced a loooooonng time ago, if I had none of this would have happened.
main thing is you....put yours,eg first and really think about yourself and your future...can you ever look past what he has done.