What now
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after my son being arrested for online images I dunno where to go from here. I have soo many feelings and emotions and feel my head will explode any moment. Any help out there
Hi Julier
im so sorry you find yourself here looking for much needed support. I can relate to how you feel, with it being my Son too and online images it is devastating, a feeling I've never felt or ever wish to again.
How long into this dreaded journey are you? We are 3 months in from that horrific 'knock', and even though it's still all consuming everyday and I'm incredibly sad/grief like (I cry every day) it does get easier as I'm able to eat and sleep slightly more than I could at the beginning.
I expect your feeling every emotion known to man, and this is normal. Please look after yourself, it's incredibly hard to deal with this as a parent as we all love our Sons unconditionally but we are also allowed to not condone this behaviour. I'm more at peace with the fact now that I will support my Son, probably from a distance as I have a young grandchild that I cannot bear not having in my life, and that I love my Son as much as I ever have but I will never fully forgive him for the devastation he has put my family through, especially myself and his Dad. We have to learn to compartmentalise that this was their choice, and that we have try to not carry it with us, it's not our fault. I blamed myself profusely in the beginning but I know in my heart that my Son was in a dark place with undiagnosed autistic traits (assessment being done end of month) and him socially isolating himself had led him down this path, we cannot control what they do online at all times, in my case my Son was 20 at time of offending.
sending you a virtual hug from me to you xx
im so sorry you find yourself here looking for much needed support. I can relate to how you feel, with it being my Son too and online images it is devastating, a feeling I've never felt or ever wish to again.
How long into this dreaded journey are you? We are 3 months in from that horrific 'knock', and even though it's still all consuming everyday and I'm incredibly sad/grief like (I cry every day) it does get easier as I'm able to eat and sleep slightly more than I could at the beginning.
I expect your feeling every emotion known to man, and this is normal. Please look after yourself, it's incredibly hard to deal with this as a parent as we all love our Sons unconditionally but we are also allowed to not condone this behaviour. I'm more at peace with the fact now that I will support my Son, probably from a distance as I have a young grandchild that I cannot bear not having in my life, and that I love my Son as much as I ever have but I will never fully forgive him for the devastation he has put my family through, especially myself and his Dad. We have to learn to compartmentalise that this was their choice, and that we have try to not carry it with us, it's not our fault. I blamed myself profusely in the beginning but I know in my heart that my Son was in a dark place with undiagnosed autistic traits (assessment being done end of month) and him socially isolating himself had led him down this path, we cannot control what they do online at all times, in my case my Son was 20 at time of offending.
sending you a virtual hug from me to you xx
I can also relate to your post, as it was also our son that got arrested. The knock was last summer, the Police were brilliant and realised that our son is vulnerable due to having a learning disability. The Police gave us a Stop it Now leaflet which has been a lifeline, he meets up with his Stop it Now worker regularly and we have also had support from them as well.
In the early days, we felt mixed emotions. We were petrified that people would find out, scared, angry. We blamed ourselves as we had allowed our adult son a computer in his bedroom. The hardest part was having to tell our daughter that a social worker would be contacting her to discuss protecting our baby grandchild. We found a good lawyer to represent our son. They have arranged for him to be assessed by a psychologist and a psychiatrist. He gets Legal Aid. His GP has referred him for an autism assessment, as he does some traits.
We have chosen to get on with our lives, especially as the court process takes such a long time. Only his siblings know, as we cannot risk others finding out.
In the early days, we felt mixed emotions. We were petrified that people would find out, scared, angry. We blamed ourselves as we had allowed our adult son a computer in his bedroom. The hardest part was having to tell our daughter that a social worker would be contacting her to discuss protecting our baby grandchild. We found a good lawyer to represent our son. They have arranged for him to be assessed by a psychologist and a psychiatrist. He gets Legal Aid. His GP has referred him for an autism assessment, as he does some traits.
We have chosen to get on with our lives, especially as the court process takes such a long time. Only his siblings know, as we cannot risk others finding out.