Family and Friends Forum

Do they still have a SHPO in place, if theyre off the SOR I doubt they do. I do think SS are being unreasonable. Legally there arent restrictions, but they act with caution. Forcing one of you out the home for an offence so many years back now to me seems too much.

Im not at that end of things yet, but I am trying my best to make SS realise we are doing everything to prevent any future offending. My husband did IIOC possession and distribution offences and I have been allowed to supervise contact where ever and when ever I like he just couldn't stay over night at the same address. Which we managed. There now legally isnt any restrictions but we havent moved back yet despite being able to legally because I know SS will freak out. Hopefully with a robust family plan and you being well informed on any red flag or warning signs that he may offend again. Having all the know how and the fact to give to them will help.

I hope they see sense and leave you alone. A CPP isnt the be all and end all and despite them pushing for exclusion they might get nothing. Hopefully the conference will see the big picture and see sense.

There are categories they have to meet to put you on CPP theyll probably try risk of sexual harm/abuse because thats why we are under a CPP. Not because they think he will hurt her now or that shes been exposed to anything. But because in 10 years! Time he will....

So just be prepared for that kind of logic from them.

I would advise if you havent done it yet to get onto the inform course for yourself.

Omg Jolene, you must be hopping mad. And worried too. It is all so disproportionate and cruel. I hope there is a way for you to get a fairer outcome, I really do.

That sounds awful Jolene what you went through. What they are doing is not proportionate. I would be tempted to start the official complaints procedure and work your way to the Ombudsman. You will have regular monthly core group meetings now and the safety plan should be agreed which you should receive a written copy of. It really isn't worth taking solicitors to conferences, they are not allowed to speak and charge through the roof so yes it is a waste of money. Your partners offence should not be affecting you now 9 years later x

I don't come on here anymore as other than a 6 monthly check in with MOSOVO, we have no involvement anymore. Quick background, OH sentenced for a large number of images possession, distribution etc in 2021. 10 year SOR and SHPO but no mention of contact in SHPO.

We had our daughter early last year and had a hellish time with SS but it was all over by the time she turned 6 months. We got taken straight to PLO (preproceedings) when I was 6 months pregnant but managed to have funded risk assessments/ capacity to protect 2 weeks before my due date and managed to have my OH at the birth but supervised in hospital. Then he was able to remain at home (had to fight for this by asking the psychologist who did the risk assessments if she thought he could and she agreed). But no personal care and supervised at all times/ different bedroom to me and my daughter at night. Then we did a reunification course recommended by the psychologist which basically just went over long term planning and essentially we went from PLO and CP to nothing. Now I just manage the risk and change the plan as I please. So other than me choosing to do personal care, our life is very normal now which this time last year I'd been threatened by the SW that I was going to lose my baby.

So what I'm trying to say is, it WILL get better and if it goes to preproceedings where you get a solicitor funded by SW, it could be the most stressful but best thing to happen. Keep persevering and it will all be worth it in the end.

Hi,

I think we're currently at the start of a similar journey and I'm wondering if anyone has any good tips or helpful advice. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant. My partner was charged in 2022 with a possession offence. He has 6 more years out of 10 on the register and from what I recall his SHPO is only about not deleting history etc (I'm not 100% about this as it's been a while) and nothing about contact with children.

We've had our initial meetings with the assessment social workers (not the ones who come up with/enforce the plans) who are currently of the belief he cannot live with us basically ever and theyre not going to allow him in the hospital when I give birth as they believe there is a risk to the other people in the hospital. Their main issue with risk is him taking pictures or discussing things online.

We have our first big meeting coming up and I'm not sure if its the conference or the pre-planning meeting as this was discussed at our last face to face when they also informed me I could potentially lose custody if I dont pass a protective parent assessment, so I was trying to process that.

We've come up with a few different plans and scenarios on how we would deal with outcomes, like living seperately, the difference in supervised visits, plans for the hospital like attaining a private room (which is potentially available in my area) and completely banning technology in the hospital, which should mitigate risks, but I'm at a loss on how else to prepare.

I've been trying to read as much as possible to prepare, but I'm unsure on what help we can get throughout this process that doesn't cost as we're not exactly well off.

I just want to add that SS escalated us to PLO to fund specialist assessments. (Even though I consider this unlawful as they should have funded specialist assessments at CPP level). Even though it was bloody scary and formal it was the best thing to happen as my OH risk was assessed as low and I'm a protective parent. This leaves SS no where to go- they have to start backing down as an independent forensic psychologist did an evidence based assessment. This just confirms that their involvement is subjective and opinion driven for online offences. They should focus their resources where children are actually being physically abused and harmed etc..

I'll PM you Jolene x

Thanks guys,

I know it might be strange to ask, but do you know if we could ask it to be escalated to PLO level? I did some reading on that previously and the assessments do sound useful, but LFF pointed out that SS wouldnt necesarily accept them if it wasnt done via referal and I have a feeling they wont refer themselves.

I would be very careful about being escalated to PLO- it's one step away from care proceedings and solicitors are involved. Newborn babies are seen as being at the higher end of risk due to being so dependent on their parents to live and survive.. and they have no voice which is a big thing during the whole process.



LA's should fund specialist assessments at CPP level and when they don't (like my case) it's ridiculous. Budgets should not come before child protection.



Where are you currently with SS?

We're basically at the beginning, I'm just trying to get some idea of what to expect in various outcomes. We dont even have a date for the conference yet. From speaking with some other people, it sounds like we're doing everything right, with different plans etc, so can only hope they will listen to other professionals etc and take on board what we're trying to do.

To the original poster your post had been bugging me for days. So here are a fee things you may not know that may help you with SS

Under the Human Rights Act (Article 8), everyone has the right to a private and family life. SS can only interfere with this if it is "necessary and proportionate."

The fact that its been 9 years is significant. If he has been in the community for nearly a decade without further incident, his "static risk" may remain, but his "dynamic risk" (current risk) should be assessed as much lower.

If his offenses were IIOC and he has no history of contact offenses (which i believe you said it was only IIOC), the leap to "no contact with his own baby" is a huge one. Research (such as that by Elliot et al.) shows the recidivism rate from IIOC to contact offenses is very low (around 2.7%).

They need to use facts and you have to be so careful with how you word things to not sound in denial despite it being 9 years. But they need to work with facts and not assumptions. For contact id get your solicitor involved and also in thr mean time use Professional Contact Centres.

If i think of anything else I will post again. Not at all been sat loosing sleep because your case made me so angry at SS

Your solicitor sounds amazing Jolene- can I ask who you are using. We have issued our LA with a PAP but did it ourselves and stuggling to find a solicitor who deals with PAPS.

It sounds like you have a good solicitor. Hopefully you can get some possitive steps forwards. I would if you havent already put a complaint in because SS were highly unprofessional.

Ive reached a point ive had enough. Theyve been playing the what if game with us. But now im having to actually make my brain function (something its not really done in 11 years). And standing my ground and learning the lingo to get us moving in a possitive path.

Do you have the chairs email? I did have to email our chair to get the report sent to my husband as it was never sent. I got it within the limit I believe though

Usually you should have core group meetings booked in which are between every 4-6 weeks. This is to go through the safety plan and discuss progression etc.. The social worker should be doing house visits every 10 working days but they might not do that until baby is born. You should have definitely been given a safety plan by now.

You need to contact the safeguarding unit or ask your SW to chase it up not receiving the minutes.

Regardling solicitors letters being ignored- get a PAP sent to the monitoring officer of the council. They can't ignore it as that would be negligible and they are independent of social worker teams.

Xx

There are a few things you can do. You can ring your local social services and go through switchboard board and ask for the general manager and explain the situation. They should then send you the report whether its finished or not.

You should have somewhere in the paperwork the details for the independent body and Google their contact details and ask for a chair. The chair will then get the report and email it to you.

With regards to hospital SS can tell the hospital he is a "risk" and its up to the hospital what they do. So just a warning there.

If you ignore their worried and go home together they will see this as you not taking his risk seriously (yes i know this is bonkers due to the fact its been 9 years...). But if you dont follow their advise they can enact the process to take baby from you into foster care or stop you leaving hospital. Hopefully this doesnt happen. SS shouldn't be doing this to you.

I hope it comes in the next few days for you. The stress they are putting you under is horrific!

We are a year in and we both have our assessments coming up (his to show whether he did what he did due to having a sexual attraction to children or due to porn addiction and mine to prove im not putting him before my daughter and that im protective). Social services have said that depending on how both go we could be looking at moving back before the next CPP review. So the fact Im here a year in, what theyre doing to you 9 years post sentence is so disproportionate. The fact they wont let you supervise is stupid.

Have they explained why its going to take a year? A year to me doesnt sound acceptable at all. I requested a protective parenting assesment end of August and thats happening this month. I only suggested it as SS where starting to suggest I wasnt protective so I wanted to provide proof I am. But despite that I am still able to be the main supervisor thats why im so baffled.

Have they explained why you cant supervise? Theyre well past the most common time to reoffend. For IIOCs its less then 3% and usually within 5 years. Or just after because that's usually when the SHPO ends

If you havent done the inform course please do it. It will be something to show youre well informed on everything and they cant hold that against you.

I have no clue if this is going to be of any help to you as I know that each case is different and it seems to be that SS respond to things completely differently in different areas, which isn't ok. So I am sorry if this is no help to you whatsoever!

I was pregnant at the time that my partner was arrested. Although he was found innocent at trial, when she was two, we still went through two years of hell with SS prior to this, as they work on the element of risk from the start, rather than the law who wait until proven innocent or guilty.

My husband was allowed to attend all antenatal appointments, was allowed at birth but not to be left alone with our baby. I had an emergency Csection, so this was incredibly difficult as I had to wheel her in with me every time I needed a toilet or shower. He wasn't allowed to do personal care for a year, he wasn't allowed to have unsupervised contact, but with a safety plan and CIN plan, which they were able to make unannounced visits to check he wasn't doing any of these, he was allowed fo stay in the house.

This is the key part. When we went to begin trial proceedings, our barrister told us that as possession isn't a contact offence, there shouldn't be any restrictions on contact. There is research out there that also says the same thing, so I highly recommend having a look, so you have things to back up your situation. We continued to work wirh SS to prove I was a protective parent, but with this and the help of our legal team, his restrictions were fully dropped by the time our daughter was one a and a year before his innocence was proven.

It's a complete postcode lottery though unfortunately it seems. I just wanted to say though, I know exactly how it feels to be pregnant and have SS there constantly, so I am sorry for what you are dealing wirh with them. I know they have to absolutely do their jobs, but I do wish they could do it wirh more compassion! Take care x

Also, make sure you have your social worker's number adult accessible for after you have given birth. SS will have their own plan, but in our case the hospital had their own safeguarding team, seperate to SS. They wouldn't allow us to leave the hospital, despite both my daughter and myself having the required checks to say we were aafe to go. We were shocked as we had just assumed that we had an agreed plan in place, the hospital were aware of it, so it should be fine. My husband had to go and call our social worker to explain, she then called the hospital safeguarding team and we were allowed to leave. It was a horrible, traumatic experience though, so please do be prepared!

This is a very recent study its from 2025: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14789949.2025.2603236?src=#abstract

This is the bit that you want really thougy

We identified 21 studies of 15,077 individuals. Meta-analyses revealed that, in those convicted of at least one online CSEM offence, 3.41% committed any sexual re-offence, 0.66% committed a contact sexual re-offence, 3.05% committed an online CSEM re-offence and 1.12% committed a violent re-offence over an average follow-up time of approximately 4 years.