It's incredibly tough but we're 6 months in and it has got easier and more bearable although still difficult. The repercussions on every aspect of life, the length of the process, and the mental torment of knowing they've done awful things when you love and are in other ways so proud of them, is very hard to bear. But somehow you process it and move forward one day at a time. It's very like a grief process, you will go through all the emotions, and somehow arrive at a new, temporary normal, while living alongside fear of the unknown. There are lots of links on other posts to research and articles on online offending which I found really helped me gain more understanding of how on earth my son ended up where he did. There are lots of complex factors that come into play. I've come to an acceptance that he's still the son I love and this is just one part of him, the other sides of him I know and love are still there. I tried not to think too far ahead in the early days of shock, and tried not to think about the things I couldn't control and focus on the small elements I could. Got a solicitor and tried to find small things to do together to help us both. It's the most difficult time and sending support as you navigate it x

Sadly, I know exactly how you feel, sending lots of positive thoughts x