It's incredibly tough but we're 6 months in and it has got easier and more bearable although still difficult. The repercussions on every aspect of life, the length of the process, and the mental torment of knowing they've done awful things when you love and are in other ways so proud of them, is very hard to bear. But somehow you process it and move forward one day at a time. It's very like a grief process, you will go through all the emotions, and somehow arrive at a new, temporary normal, while living alongside fear of the unknown. There are lots of links on other posts to research and articles on online offending which I found really helped me gain more understanding of how on earth my son ended up where he did. There are lots of complex factors that come into play. I've come to an acceptance that he's still the son I love and this is just one part of him, the other sides of him I know and love are still there. I tried not to think too far ahead in the early days of shock, and tried not to think about the things I couldn't control and focus on the small elements I could. Got a solicitor and tried to find small things to do together to help us both. It's the most difficult time and sending support as you navigate it x

Sadly, I know exactly how you feel, sending lots of positive thoughts x

Sorry you find yourself here.

Take one day at a time,one week at a time and be kind to yourself. Non of us asked to be here but some how we find a way to carry on. Some days are better than others.

It certainly is an emotional rollercoaster with no idea how long you will be on it for.

Have you been given an indication of how long it will take to check devices etc?.

Feel free to reach out. If you haven't already I would also recommend speaking to the helpline if you need to talk.

Take care.

My husband was told to try and get on with as normal life as possible when he was arrested.

My husband lost his job too, he has since found a new job. There are companies out there who employee people with records to help people not offend again. It is easier to be self employed after this though.

Over a series of months my husband and I talked. He listened to me and my boundaries because I was not at all coping. I still cry daily because the life we could have had will never, ever be. Im just thankful our daughter hasnt been affected much as she was a baby. This is all just her normal. She knows daddy goes away and daddy comes back and thats it. She demands to see videos of him and wants them repeated over and over and over again which makes me cry.

I hate him and love him. I hate that he did this to us. He had a serious porn addiction which just got worse and worse and worse. And then he fell into the rabbit whole that is IIOCs. It got caught pretty quickly, which he says is the best and worst day of his life. It gave him the shock back to reality.

So sorry you find yourself here

I'm out the other side. Looking back I am amazed that I got through it all. I took just 2 days off work - my line manager is ex police and from what I told him he guessed what had happened. So with the support of him and the department manager I returned to work and they were so supportive. Work gave me some normality and routine - and got me out of the house and away from my husband of 32 years

He lost his well paid job so was home all time - and home felt like a prison to me - where everything felt overwhelming.

I carried in for 10 months - to the outside world nothing was wrong - till the first court appearance and it being reported online. I told a few good friends who were supportive and lost a whole heap of others. The stress was overwhelming, I had suicidal thoughts and couldn't see a future.

So I told him the marriage was over - and I understand you don't have that option - not knowing how I would manage in my own. 3 weeks later he went to prison. I then had to tell family - thankfully I kept it from my mum as she was very ill (she died later that year never knowing)

He came out of prison and was living in temporary accommodation in a nearby town. Things limped on till he said he wanted our home sold. I've never had to deal with so much stuff - but somehow I got the house in the market, sorted out a mortgage and moved to a small flat in a new town. I'm skint but feel so much more at peace.

Turns out I made the right decisions as he is back in prison currently - I just knew the offending would never go away.

I suppose what I am saying is thwywhoke situation seems overwhelming and you cannot see a way out. But we are stronger than we think and when the shit hits the fan we deal with it. I was lucky in that I had good friends, supportive work, eventually got some therapy and kept myself busy ( probably too busy) Yes I made some questionable decisions along the way but hey ho.

Sending you live and the strength to get through each day. There is light at the end of the tunnel - it's just a bit of a rollercoaster to get there x