Resentment
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No one seems to understand how this situation is for me. Having done nothing wrong i have had my life changed. I feel a stranger in my own life, every relationship i have feels changed. Im thankful that none are totally ruined not even my relationship with my partner but why should i feel grateful about that. Im starting to feel annoyed with everyone. Im a calm easy going person normally and im struggling with this new feelings of anger and resentment that my life has changed. Im now the elephant in the room that no one is sure what to say to. How do you express to other people what this feels like, its impossible and i think everyone is bored of hearing about it. I feel im entitled to be selfish and sorry for myself sometimes. Does anyone else feel like that, i know i can get through it but i dont know how to deal with feeling so detached from my life. How do you ground yourself and regain control.
Maria, I echo your feelings entirely. I’m a completely different person now than I was before the ‘knock’. I feel like an outsider in the world and hate the pitying looks I perceive I get from even close friends. To explain the situation I’m in is too complicated for sound bites like the ones reported in the media. Of course that’s the version of events everyone works from but it’s not the truth.
Ive aged much too fast since the knock. I was a hard working, professional, respected, vibrant individual before, now I’m looked on at best with pity and at worst with disgust. My life has changed forever and I had no part to play in that. An employment solicitor warned me from the outset that just being accused of this crime would finish my husband and the stain would stick to me regardless if the investigation was dropped. I naively didn’t believe that then, I do now.
I can’t offer light at the end of the tunnel even though an acquittal followed when the CPS dropped the case.
What i can offer is total understanding and empathy.
Ive aged much too fast since the knock. I was a hard working, professional, respected, vibrant individual before, now I’m looked on at best with pity and at worst with disgust. My life has changed forever and I had no part to play in that. An employment solicitor warned me from the outset that just being accused of this crime would finish my husband and the stain would stick to me regardless if the investigation was dropped. I naively didn’t believe that then, I do now.
I can’t offer light at the end of the tunnel even though an acquittal followed when the CPS dropped the case.
What i can offer is total understanding and empathy.
Hi Marie
I think that's normal and probably part of the process. You know the grieving is usually shock followed by depression/crying then eventually your hit anger and that may be where your are now.
You're right people don't understand and for me I feel I have no other conversation except this, it dominates my life.
Don't be too hard on yourself, you are not to blame for any of this, you are grieving for the life and relationship toy had and I know you are still with your husband and I sincerely hope it works out for you both, but things have changed, it's inevitable but hopefully, one day, you will look back on this time and be in a different mindset and happy with your life.
I've waffled, sorry, just meant to say - it's all normal to feel as you are and people don't understand if they haven't gone through it.
Stay strong
Much love xx
I think that's normal and probably part of the process. You know the grieving is usually shock followed by depression/crying then eventually your hit anger and that may be where your are now.
You're right people don't understand and for me I feel I have no other conversation except this, it dominates my life.
Don't be too hard on yourself, you are not to blame for any of this, you are grieving for the life and relationship toy had and I know you are still with your husband and I sincerely hope it works out for you both, but things have changed, it's inevitable but hopefully, one day, you will look back on this time and be in a different mindset and happy with your life.
I've waffled, sorry, just meant to say - it's all normal to feel as you are and people don't understand if they haven't gone through it.
Stay strong
Much love xx
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I know what people mean about the forum. I don’t want to overload my friends either, and they know very little Of my situation. It’s sad because they were his secrets and now it’s me who is clossed.
Christmas was such a blur for me but it is a blessing having you all.
Whether people stick with their partners or are forced to make a horrendous choice between children and a marriage.your all fabulous.
I think with grief process I must still be in early stages but your entitled to feel angry and resentful.
I cant go back to work yet got to update my dbs first, which is understandable but frustrating but taking the time to make plans for my future
So pleased people can be honest here.
Poster your boys are lucky to have you. It’s their dad that is missing out on having a mature authentic relationship with his sons.
Loves to all the friends out there. Have a sip of coffee or tea and know somewhere out there your not alone.
Christmas was such a blur for me but it is a blessing having you all.
Whether people stick with their partners or are forced to make a horrendous choice between children and a marriage.your all fabulous.
I think with grief process I must still be in early stages but your entitled to feel angry and resentful.
I cant go back to work yet got to update my dbs first, which is understandable but frustrating but taking the time to make plans for my future
So pleased people can be honest here.
Poster your boys are lucky to have you. It’s their dad that is missing out on having a mature authentic relationship with his sons.
Loves to all the friends out there. Have a sip of coffee or tea and know somewhere out there your not alone.