Meeting up
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hiya, I guess this is a question for LF. I’ve looked at the forum agreement and can’t see anything about discouraging us (as innocent individuals) from meeting up face to face. Almost on every thread people are asking about being able to meet face to face, as a group, to help us on this horrible journey.
Is this something LF can look at facilitating? If not could we be told of the reasons against it?
This forum has been a godsend and maybe to the odd one or two a lifesaver! LF you’ve created a monster (in a good way!) It’s been so successful that people are really wanting the next step, from a virtual world into the real world. It’s this virtual world that’s caused us so many problems. Reaching out into the real world would be so positive for many of us.
I’m sure there are reasons other than resources that may make LF not wish to be involved but it would be good to be informed of any reasons why we couldn’t meet face to face?
LF if you could respond that would be great. Ta.
Is this something LF can look at facilitating? If not could we be told of the reasons against it?
This forum has been a godsend and maybe to the odd one or two a lifesaver! LF you’ve created a monster (in a good way!) It’s been so successful that people are really wanting the next step, from a virtual world into the real world. It’s this virtual world that’s caused us so many problems. Reaching out into the real world would be so positive for many of us.
I’m sure there are reasons other than resources that may make LF not wish to be involved but it would be good to be informed of any reasons why we couldn’t meet face to face?
LF if you could respond that would be great. Ta.
Hi Jaded
i was thinking o writing exactly the same question but I was still considering how to word it!
you couldn’t have put it better!
yes please consider this LF?
Mabel x
i was thinking o writing exactly the same question but I was still considering how to word it!
you couldn’t have put it better!
yes please consider this LF?
Mabel x
Yes, I have even been thinking I could set up another email account and give that email address out and after some correspondence then arrange a phone call with one/ some of you. There are ways to do it carefully without letting the whole world know who you are
I was wondering if I should give my username on Mumsnet or something? You can correspond by pm on there. How other would you suggest Big Sigh?
Hi Jaded - if u felt ok doing that. I don’t use them but could register.
Well I’m registered as Jaded123. No posts on there yet and no identifying info so if you find me it’s all good!
Can’t find you if you don’t post anything x
Hi Jaded - worked out how to do it and have sent pm x
I've just signed up with Mumsnet, that took some doing, I'm now going to try and suss out how to send a message x
Just sent you a message Jaded, not in this name on here, hour it gets through to you xx
Well now I can’t even find the profile I set up on Mumsnet! What a complicated, yukky format to navigate?! I’ve tried to set up a new one but I’m going around in circles
I wouldnt pm my profile or send any personal info at this stage.
Any other suggestions?
I wouldnt pm my profile or send any personal info at this stage.
Any other suggestions?
I’ve messaged Mumsnet directly for a response, see what they advise? Or if anyone feels comfortable to share their Mumsnet profile name I could message you
Mine is TB14
Right I’ve just changed mine to Jaded1967 (I didn’t get any private messages on the other one?)
I’m sure we’ll all get a telling off for this :-/
I’m sure we’ll all get a telling off for this :-/
I've just sent another one - fingers crossed xx
It only bloody works guys - I could cry with happiness xx
I have also been thinking about this for months. This forum is a God send but I am also very aware anyone can read it so I dont always but everything that i need to. Meeting up together would be amazing xx
I've pm'd you on Mumsnet Tracey, fingers crossed you get it.
Hi
so I set me up as well on Mumsnet!
I am Mabel111
would be lovely to chat or meet up!
Mabel x
so I set me up as well on Mumsnet!
I am Mabel111
would be lovely to chat or meet up!
Mabel x
How do I do this?
Do I set up account on mumsnet? Thanks x
Do I set up account on mumsnet? Thanks x
Hi Rainbow
I set an account up on Mumsnet and from that some of us have swapped email addresses too, it's absolutely the best thing ever. Can't wait to hear from you xx
I set an account up on Mumsnet and from that some of us have swapped email addresses too, it's absolutely the best thing ever. Can't wait to hear from you xx
Hey everyone, I’ve just signed up to mumsnet too. Jaded, I *think* I’ve sent you a message, but I’m not sure!
My username is JayneG1989 for anyone else who’s on there. Just in the process of setting up a new email. (Shock of shocks, Jayne isn’t my real first name!) xx
My username is JayneG1989 for anyone else who’s on there. Just in the process of setting up a new email. (Shock of shocks, Jayne isn’t my real first name!) xx
Hows it going every one are you able to connect?
i also feel very vulnerable that everyone can read this forum it will be good of jaded has found away people can have private chats. Xxx
i also feel very vulnerable that everyone can read this forum it will be good of jaded has found away people can have private chats. Xxx
Hi Bethlou23
It really does work, I'm now in touch with 7 people, please try it, I can assure you I'm not getting vibes that people aren't who they say they are.
I was thinking about you today and wondering how you were?
xx
It really does work, I'm now in touch with 7 people, please try it, I can assure you I'm not getting vibes that people aren't who they say they are.
I was thinking about you today and wondering how you were?
xx
Bethlou, do it. Do you remember when you found this forum, that feeling of “oh my god - I’m not the only one”? It’s like having that feeling all over again, but stronger. I’ve not spoken with anyone I don’t feel is genuine yet, but I set up a fake email purely for that purpose. Given our partners/brothers/sons have all committed offences online, I feel like anyone genuine will understand me being guarded. Anyone who has a problem with it is probably the kind of person whose “support” I don’t need xx
Hi all, I've been in touch with Tracey through mumsnet today and I can't tell you how much of a relief that has been. I'll try and message some more over the next few days. I've yet to find the time or courage to post my experience so far to the forum but it's so helpful so read some of the posts. I'm new as in we had the knock on Thursday 13th June and it's blown my life to bits, but I'll get there xx
Hello,
We are very pleased that this forum has been such a success for almost a year now, and from reading your posts it is clear that you have found it to be a very positive platform through which you can support one another.
In response to the discussion about people’s desire for ‘face to face’ support, we recognise the limitations of the forum in this regard, and we appreciate why you would wish to meet up with each other in person. However, unfortunately this is not something that The Lucy Faithfull Foundation can facilitate at the current time. This is because we do not have the resources to develop and implement a system that would enable us to verify everyone’s identities, which we would be obliged to do due to the open nature of the forum. Your safety and well-being is our priority, and there is always the risk that someone else, with less positive motives, might want to attend an offline meeting. As we all know, there are always some risks when people move online relationships offline.
Equally, it is not our place to stop you having contact with one another offline, and nor could we do so. This is a private decision for each of you. However, as well as the upsides, we would encourage you all to think about the potential downsides, too. Please take steps to ensure you are not meeting someone who might have a hidden agenda and/or an axe to grind, or put yourselves in a vulnerable position. It is for this reason that we cannot allow people to publicise a date and venue for a meeting on the forum – who knows who might turn up. We hope that makes sense.
Please remember, too, that we do encourage people who attend our Inform programme (for people in similar situations to users of this forum) to maintain contact with one another after they have completed the programme. You can find more information can be found about this here, if you would like to take part in one of these courses please call our Stop It Now! helpline.
Thanks,
Lucy
We are very pleased that this forum has been such a success for almost a year now, and from reading your posts it is clear that you have found it to be a very positive platform through which you can support one another.
In response to the discussion about people’s desire for ‘face to face’ support, we recognise the limitations of the forum in this regard, and we appreciate why you would wish to meet up with each other in person. However, unfortunately this is not something that The Lucy Faithfull Foundation can facilitate at the current time. This is because we do not have the resources to develop and implement a system that would enable us to verify everyone’s identities, which we would be obliged to do due to the open nature of the forum. Your safety and well-being is our priority, and there is always the risk that someone else, with less positive motives, might want to attend an offline meeting. As we all know, there are always some risks when people move online relationships offline.
Equally, it is not our place to stop you having contact with one another offline, and nor could we do so. This is a private decision for each of you. However, as well as the upsides, we would encourage you all to think about the potential downsides, too. Please take steps to ensure you are not meeting someone who might have a hidden agenda and/or an axe to grind, or put yourselves in a vulnerable position. It is for this reason that we cannot allow people to publicise a date and venue for a meeting on the forum – who knows who might turn up. We hope that makes sense.
Please remember, too, that we do encourage people who attend our Inform programme (for people in similar situations to users of this forum) to maintain contact with one another after they have completed the programme. You can find more information can be found about this here, if you would like to take part in one of these courses please call our Stop It Now! helpline.
Thanks,
Lucy
That’s reassuring. I am going to look into the mums net thing, It may take me till tomorrow to try and work it all out.
there is questions and conversations people don’t want to ask on the open forum. Though I am forever grateful for finding this forum pretty much the same time as the knock.
i am okay Tracey back at work now and trying to catch up after my well needed holiday with my daughter. I think of you all too, all around the country experiencing the same issues and grief.
thanks jaded too for coming up with a plan. I will certainly look at mums net xxx
there is questions and conversations people don’t want to ask on the open forum. Though I am forever grateful for finding this forum pretty much the same time as the knock.
i am okay Tracey back at work now and trying to catch up after my well needed holiday with my daughter. I think of you all too, all around the country experiencing the same issues and grief.
thanks jaded too for coming up with a plan. I will certainly look at mums net xxx
Hi everyone, Paula here. It's been a while. For those who don't remember me, it's a year in June since the man I was about to marry was arrested at our home for downloading indecent images. Still no court case. I changed the locks and threw him out, but we still meet occasionally as he has no one else, and I still care about him. Although sometimes I hate him so much, I can barely look at him.
It this Mumsnet contact idea works, that will be wonderful. For months I have wanted to get in touch with those who have been such a comfort to me, Jaded, and Bethlou and Tracey. And where are you poster.So anyway I have joined Mumsnet as Sunny333. So do message me if you want to get in touch. xx
It this Mumsnet contact idea works, that will be wonderful. For months I have wanted to get in touch with those who have been such a comfort to me, Jaded, and Bethlou and Tracey. And where are you poster.So anyway I have joined Mumsnet as Sunny333. So do message me if you want to get in touch. xx
Hi. I've just joined and sent jaded a message. Are with PM people individually?
Hi Paula, I am also going to try and sort out mums net. Having a bit of a big week as things are starting to happen with police investigation and other things. I haven’t forgotten people. Just lots to navigate at the moment.
Hi,Jaded,thank you for sharing
Hi everyone I am on mumsnet too and have made contact with others and have swapped email address too, just being able to speak directly is so good really takes away that isolated feeling, this forum is also fantastic, my name on mumsnet is snookieboo
Aas some of you may know I am now 14 months post second knock, and there are times when I still need to take the day hour by hour, my boys and I are rebuilding our lives again but it's a ever so slow process
Aas some of you may know I am now 14 months post second knock, and there are times when I still need to take the day hour by hour, my boys and I are rebuilding our lives again but it's a ever so slow process
I've just sent a few messages on mumsnet.
Whatnow- I dont think I have yours maybe someone can post your user name in a message if you dont want to post on here.
Look forward to talking and I do hope I have someone near me to meet up with x
Whatnow- I dont think I have yours maybe someone can post your user name in a message if you dont want to post on here.
Look forward to talking and I do hope I have someone near me to meet up with x
Hi guys
It's been so lovely to message you and even speak to 2 of you, you've no idea (actually you probably have!) how much it helps.
I wanted to keep this link near the to in case others wanted to join, it seriously has changed my life for now, I can't speak/message people who know exactly how I'm feeling and me back to them.
Hoping to arrange a meet up for those who want to later in the year but it won't be put on here for obvious reasons xx
It's been so lovely to message you and even speak to 2 of you, you've no idea (actually you probably have!) how much it helps.
I wanted to keep this link near the to in case others wanted to join, it seriously has changed my life for now, I can't speak/message people who know exactly how I'm feeling and me back to them.
Hoping to arrange a meet up for those who want to later in the year but it won't be put on here for obvious reasons xx
Hi lee1969,
I will try and look in the next few days. Sounds complicated and my brain cells seem to have gone walkabout since this nightmare unfolded. Got a busy week but I will look into it. Thanks for thinking of me. Xx
I will try and look in the next few days. Sounds complicated and my brain cells seem to have gone walkabout since this nightmare unfolded. Got a busy week but I will look into it. Thanks for thinking of me. Xx
Hi, could I join in the mumsnet too please? I think I've sent a message to Jaded.
Thanks
Thanks
Hi lee1969, it's Lottiemay78
I just want to 2nd that Lee, amazing, wonderful, strong, funny women who give me strength to.
You know how your feel about this forum, well times it by 10 ????xx
You know how your feel about this forum, well times it by 10 ????xx
I’ve just set up a Mumsnet account, still trying to work out how it works with messages, my user name is sweetcupcake, Would be nice to speak to someone in the same position as me
Hi Thanks so much for setting this up. I am helpimgoingcrazyhere. I've messaged Jaded and despite being more of a lurker than poster, would love to be connected with the chance to meet face to face. x
Hi coping and loopie Lou. I've messaged you on mumsnet. Would be lovely to hear from you x
And lottie x
oooooo this sounds great, I have been here and mooching every now and then but my mother in law has said she reads this so I don't really want to post anymore =(
I have just set up an account, username KLK79, please add me to whatever you guys are communicating via!
I have just set up an account, username KLK79, please add me to whatever you guys are communicating via!
Three weeks post knock here and my brain isn't functioning...
I can't figure out how to search by user from my phone. I've created a mumsnet account, can someone add me please?
Username: Warrioress
Thanks
I can't figure out how to search by user from my phone. I've created a mumsnet account, can someone add me please?
Username: Warrioress
Thanks
Jaded this is so good. When you said this virtual world into this real world. We as a normal family have gone through hell. Like all you others on here. I know that if these images didn't exist none of us would be in this position. We are desperate to meet up
Hi Catlady
It's an awful thing isn't it? How far in are you?
We always say a meet up would be amazing - can you imagine the tears! Xx
It's an awful thing isn't it? How far in are you?
We always say a meet up would be amazing - can you imagine the tears! Xx
Hi I've joined mumsnet my name is rocknroll1965 I don't quite know how this works il be grateful for advice on what to do next
This would be great for me but I have such deep fears of someone finding me.
Hi Sallyblue
I understand that and it isn't for everyone but you can keep it as anonymous as you like, no names, addresses or phone numbers, it just gives you the change to speak more privately with others.
Take things at your pace and do what's right for you xx
I understand that and it isn't for everyone but you can keep it as anonymous as you like, no names, addresses or phone numbers, it just gives you the change to speak more privately with others.
Take things at your pace and do what's right for you xx
I did it, managed to get my head around it and I'm now on mumsnet as sun68, have messaged one person only to find they are about 15 mins away. Mad.
I'm on BlueSally.
Depression is killing me today. Haven't slept yet so thought I'd try.
Depression is killing me today. Haven't slept yet so thought I'd try.
Hi everyone I’m on mumsnet as strongmam not sure how to add people xxx
Post deleted by user
I’ve had some nice messages xx I will reply ASAP my son has tried to kill himself Thai morning x
Post deleted by user
Just wanted to say I hope your ok scrappy and sending love your way. I hope your son is ok and gets the help he needs. This situation we are all in is a nightmare, it really is too much for some to bare. I can't imagine how I would feel and cope if it was my son.
I'm sending love your way. Xx
I'm sending love your way. Xx
I’ve set up mumsnet user name is foxylaa I have no idea how the site works xx
How do i join the mumsnet group?
I havent used mums net before but i have set up a user of M1213
xx
I havent used mums net before but i have set up a user of M1213
xx
Hi ladies, I'm fairly new here on the forum and I've joined mumsnet today just for this. Username is DarkHorse60. Hope to connect with some of you along this pothole strewn path we are all negotiating blindfold!
Hi Big Sigh
Are you on mumsnet? I wanted to send you a private message. Thanks x
Are you on mumsnet? I wanted to send you a private message. Thanks x
Hi Rainbow
yes I am on mumsnet and have messaged a couple of people. But I would prefer to send a message than put my username up there if that is ok. Still going through this stuff so need to be really careful - if that makes sense. Would be happy to message you if you give me your one x
yes I am on mumsnet and have messaged a couple of people. But I would prefer to send a message than put my username up there if that is ok. Still going through this stuff so need to be really careful - if that makes sense. Would be happy to message you if you give me your one x
Hi all, can someone please send me a step by step on how to do Mumsnet, I’m not great with tech x thanks in advance
Hi all, I’ve joined Mumsnet, my username is groot1967.
Is mumsnet just for mums? Or is there others on there as well as I am not a mum, Ito am the daughter of an offender.
My Mumsnet user name is Chocaholic4672
Just bumping this upto the top for those struggling and wanting extra support.
Love to all, keep strong, we can do this with each other's support. Xx
Love to all, keep strong, we can do this with each other's support. Xx
My mumsnet name is sun68.
Mine is Cymraes66. X
I finally got round to joining mumsnet, I can't figure out though how to message people. My username is the same on there as it is on here if someone could message me.
Hi there,
New to this and mumsnet. I've created a username Ka89 if someone can reach out please via mumsnet to let me kno how I can become involved please?
Thanks,
New to this and mumsnet. I've created a username Ka89 if someone can reach out please via mumsnet to let me kno how I can become involved please?
Thanks,
For those who don't know how to send a message via mumsnet, you aren't alone, it's not the most obvious if you've never used it before.
Click on "My mumset"
Click "inbox"
Click "New Message"
Enter the user name of the person you want to contact.
You'll probably get an email when you receive a message from someone.
Click on "My mumset"
Click "inbox"
Click "New Message"
Enter the user name of the person you want to contact.
You'll probably get an email when you receive a message from someone.
Hi everyone I'm Thistle81 there, I'd really like to get in touch with others there and have just started sending the odd message here and there. Please do message me if you'd like to.
I don't have children. Can I still connect with people on Mumsnet or is it just for people with children.
I don't have children either, nothing stopping you from joining mumsnet. I only use it for messaging people. Once you have joined feel free to send me a message my username is the same on there as here.
Hi O&U
It was so lovely chatting with you, if ever you change your mind you know where to find me. Hope everything continues to move along
Much love
Xx
It was so lovely chatting with you, if ever you change your mind you know where to find me. Hope everything continues to move along
Much love
Xx
Hi guys
Eventually decided to get on mumsnet.
My username on there is poobear86, if anyone wants to chat send me a message.
Eventually decided to get on mumsnet.
My username on there is poobear86, if anyone wants to chat send me a message.
Hi everyone, I'm on mumsnet too. My user name is Fooledtwice
I hope some of you will message me. It'd be lovely to hear from you. xx
I hope some of you will message me. It'd be lovely to hear from you. xx
BlueSally on the forums. I'm in Scotland and would live to find friends around here that wont judge me! I've been there from the knock to the moving back in together. I will help and support you where I can. X
Hi
sally blue and everyone else I'm now back into mumsnet after not being able to get into my old one. If anyone wants to email my name is nicenana1. It would be good to hear from people in Scotland as well as elsewhere x
sally blue and everyone else I'm now back into mumsnet after not being able to get into my old one. If anyone wants to email my name is nicenana1. It would be good to hear from people in Scotland as well as elsewhere x
Hi lee1969 I've sent a pm to you on mumsnet x
hi family moved to live in Finland and don't know where to go ( looking for new acquaintances and friends) will appreciate your commentaries and new znakomstvam thank you for your attention
Post deleted
Dear Forum Users
We at LFF just wanted to remind individuals of the risks involved in sharing personal details, such as usernames for other forums, on a public site. Please see the following link to our previous post:https://get-help.stopitnow.org.uk/family-and-friends/family-and-friends-forum/topic/1417
In exciting news, our software team are in the process of developing our Direct Messaging function so watch this space as we hope to be introducing this feature in the very near future. This way we can ensure our users are able to safely access one-to-one contact without sharing personal details publicly.
Take Care
The Forum Team
We at LFF just wanted to remind individuals of the risks involved in sharing personal details, such as usernames for other forums, on a public site. Please see the following link to our previous post:https://get-help.stopitnow.org.uk/family-and-friends/family-and-friends-forum/topic/1417
In exciting news, our software team are in the process of developing our Direct Messaging function so watch this space as we hope to be introducing this feature in the very near future. This way we can ensure our users are able to safely access one-to-one contact without sharing personal details publicly.
Take Care
The Forum Team
Post deleted
Sounds great Lucy / not sure I'm up to the 'meetingup' bit but would be nice to message a few folk. As long as it doesn't dilute the main forum which so many newcomers find.
Post deleted
So looking forward to the messaging function thank you LFF!
Also, there are so many names from 2019 we don't see anymore. I wonder how they are and I take it as they've moved on which is reassuring for the rest of us still facing this.
Also, there are so many names from 2019 we don't see anymore. I wonder how they are and I take it as they've moved on which is reassuring for the rest of us still facing this.
Baffled,
I was thinking the same! It gives hope that one day we will have all moved on, although I am so very grateful for the genuine connection I have made here, I would be lost without it.
Looking forward to DMs! I'm sure you will reassure us nearer the time as to how we won't get trolled!
X
I was thinking the same! It gives hope that one day we will have all moved on, although I am so very grateful for the genuine connection I have made here, I would be lost without it.
Looking forward to DMs! I'm sure you will reassure us nearer the time as to how we won't get trolled!
X
Hi all
I totally agree with LFF. I would be very careful in sharing details. It is so easy for unscrupulous individuals with their own agendas to access public forums and expose individuals . Having attended the inform course , this is the best place to arrange a face to face meeting privately , if you chose to . The course is also beneficial in sharing experiences between each other, in the presence of experts that give you positive feedback , builds your knowledge and understanding of this sensitive topic . I recommend doing this, keep safe everyone. Having said all that I have found this forum so helpful in guiding me through this time in our family's life, so I thank all of you for you kindness and support. For those of you who don't know my story, it is my son who offended for having iioc aged 23 years he received a caution.
maij x
I totally agree with LFF. I would be very careful in sharing details. It is so easy for unscrupulous individuals with their own agendas to access public forums and expose individuals . Having attended the inform course , this is the best place to arrange a face to face meeting privately , if you chose to . The course is also beneficial in sharing experiences between each other, in the presence of experts that give you positive feedback , builds your knowledge and understanding of this sensitive topic . I recommend doing this, keep safe everyone. Having said all that I have found this forum so helpful in guiding me through this time in our family's life, so I thank all of you for you kindness and support. For those of you who don't know my story, it is my son who offended for having iioc aged 23 years he received a caution.
maij x