Son arrested my story
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My son was arrested and bailed today hes just turned 18 3 months ago . They have too his devices due to him making sexual communication with children . I absolutely devastated didnt see this coming at all . Knew hes been depressed for some time but I feel like a bad person and mum. I cant look at him . He says it was when he was under 18 and he was chatting to other teens ,15/16 and he was addicted to porn but I'm just devastated. I'm worried for my other kids when it goes to court as it could get published in the paper . I'm selfishly worried about my shame of him . I'm struggling to be any support to anyone . Cant wrap my head around it all . I was the victim of child abuse too so its thrown up all sort in my head been in bed all day
Therese, hi hun how are you today? I'm sorry you have found your self here in this awful unknown mess. I know exactly how your feeling it's normal your emotions are going to be all over but please dont blame yourself it is not your fault!. These young adult should know what they are doing but unfortunately I don't think they understand the consequences this is a big big life changing thing they have done but hopefully they can start to understand that and get the help they need. Please remember this doesn't define him as a person I'm sure he as still got many good things about him? But I feel they need us now more then ever as hard as it is I don't know how I'm doing it or getting through everyday and I am petrified of when it comes to court but I have to stay strong because if I crumble I feel my son will crumble and I dread to think what will happen. Try and take it day by day uts not easy by any means. My inbox Is open if want to chat more hun take care x
We're several years on from the first knock. I was on holiday with my partner so had to come home before he was interviewed and processed as he was under 18. I felt so conflicted seeing him so vulnerable but shocked and disgusted at the crime.
When he turned 18 we got the second knock, that was 2 years ago. I'm honestly still traumatised because whenever the door is knocked before 8am I feel scared and sick. That time my son ended up in a psychiatric unit because he was at serious risk of harming himself.
All I can say is to allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel, but also be kind to yourself. It's nothing you did that caused this and trying to be the best parent you can now is all you can do.
When he turned 18 we got the second knock, that was 2 years ago. I'm honestly still traumatised because whenever the door is knocked before 8am I feel scared and sick. That time my son ended up in a psychiatric unit because he was at serious risk of harming himself.
All I can say is to allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel, but also be kind to yourself. It's nothing you did that caused this and trying to be the best parent you can now is all you can do.
Therese I'm thinking of you, in a similar position and it's so heartbreaking.
Swimmer what outcome did your son get the first time if you don't mind sharing? As I'm in a similar position with my son xx
Swimmer what outcome did your son get the first time if you don't mind sharing? As I'm in a similar position with my son xx
6 months ago my son was arrested. We are still waiting for the inevitable interview. Im heartbroken, angry and really struggling. My son was meant to engage with stop it now, but he sees no point and I do agree. They are not counsellors and aren't really offering anything. My son is autistic. I cant bear the thought of losing him, and him going to prison. Dont know where to turn, what to do. He won't talk to me about it and just wants to block it out
Hi Aerial
Has your son been able to talk to anyone about what has happened? As he has autism he could be quite vulnerable to the dangers of the internet.
Is he able to talk to you about why he wants to block it out? There could be numerous reasons .... for example, could he have PTSD from the knock and it is too painful to talk about? He may not even know why he is blocking it out.
It must be a terrible worry for you. Are you receving any support?
Has your son been able to talk to anyone about what has happened? As he has autism he could be quite vulnerable to the dangers of the internet.
Is he able to talk to you about why he wants to block it out? There could be numerous reasons .... for example, could he have PTSD from the knock and it is too painful to talk about? He may not even know why he is blocking it out.
It must be a terrible worry for you. Are you receving any support?
Whilst Stop it now don't provide access to counselling/therapy there is another organisation which can called StopSO, might be worth speaking to them to see what they can offer.
Ariel, We got a private therapist for my son, he is autistic. 3 years later, he still sees him off and on but saw him weekly for a year and a half, his confidence shot up, which is one on the reasons he dived into an online world. He also spoke to stop it now and so did I, they were amazing. They may not be counsellors but they heard me load and clear, no judgement, they were the first people I called after court as they supported me so much, I needed them to have the ending too. He can use the Ocean site and text them. We both done the LFF course too and both got a lot out of it. We didn't engage with SIN till about 9 months after, I think when we got the court date, but I wish i had done it sooner.