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Son arrested my story

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Therese

Member since
May 2025

1 post

My son was arrested and bailed today hes just turned 18 3 months ago . They have too his devices due to him making sexual communication with children . I absolutely devastated didnt see this coming at all . Knew hes been depressed for some time but I feel like a bad person and mum. I cant look at him . He says it was when he was under 18 and he was chatting to other teens ,15/16 and he was addicted to porn but I'm just devastated. I'm worried for my other kids when it goes to court as it could get published in the paper . I'm selfishly worried about my shame of him . I'm struggling to be any support to anyone . Cant wrap my head around it all . I was the victim of child abuse too so its thrown up all sort in my head been in bed all day

Posted Fri May 2, 2025 6:18pmReport post

Absolutely heartbroken...

Member since
April 2025

21 posts

Therese, hi hun how are you today? I'm sorry you have found your self here in this awful unknown mess. I know exactly how your feeling it's normal your emotions are going to be all over but please dont blame yourself it is not your fault!. These young adult should know what they are doing but unfortunately I don't think they understand the consequences this is a big big life changing thing they have done but hopefully they can start to understand that and get the help they need. Please remember this doesn't define him as a person I'm sure he as still got many good things about him? But I feel they need us now more then ever as hard as it is I don't know how I'm doing it or getting through everyday and I am petrified of when it comes to court but I have to stay strong because if I crumble I feel my son will crumble and I dread to think what will happen. Try and take it day by day uts not easy by any means. My inbox Is open if want to chat more hun take care x

Posted Sat May 3, 2025 9:28amReport post

swimmer

Member since
July 2025

6 posts

We're several years on from the first knock. I was on holiday with my partner so had to come home before he was interviewed and processed as he was under 18. I felt so conflicted seeing him so vulnerable but shocked and disgusted at the crime.

When he turned 18 we got the second knock, that was 2 years ago. I'm honestly still traumatised because whenever the door is knocked before 8am I feel scared and sick. That time my son ended up in a psychiatric unit because he was at serious risk of harming himself.

All I can say is to allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel, but also be kind to yourself. It's nothing you did that caused this and trying to be the best parent you can now is all you can do.

Posted Wed July 2, 2025 10:32pmReport post

Crushed

Member since
July 2024

200 posts

Therese I'm thinking of you, in a similar position and it's so heartbreaking.

Swimmer what outcome did your son get the first time if you don't mind sharing? As I'm in a similar position with my son xx

Posted Thu July 3, 2025 9:44amReport post

Aerial72

Member since
April 2025

4 posts

6 months ago my son was arrested. We are still waiting for the inevitable interview. Im heartbroken, angry and really struggling. My son was meant to engage with stop it now, but he sees no point and I do agree. They are not counsellors and aren't really offering anything. My son is autistic. I cant bear the thought of losing him, and him going to prison. Dont know where to turn, what to do. He won't talk to me about it and just wants to block it out

Posted Thu September 25, 2025 12:58pmReport post

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

457 posts

Hi Aerial

Has your son been able to talk to anyone about what has happened? As he has autism he could be quite vulnerable to the dangers of the internet.

Is he able to talk to you about why he wants to block it out? There could be numerous reasons .... for example, could he have PTSD from the knock and it is too painful to talk about? He may not even know why he is blocking it out.

It must be a terrible worry for you. Are you receving any support?

Posted Thu September 25, 2025 7:20pm
Edited Thu September 25, 2025 7:26pmReport post

26a20

Member since
December 2024

226 posts

Whilst Stop it now don't provide access to counselling/therapy there is another organisation which can called StopSO, might be worth speaking to them to see what they can offer.

Posted Thu September 25, 2025 9:06pmReport post

Quick exit