Stupid?
Notifications OFF
This happened to me almost 5 years ago. I decided to stay with my partner depsite him being charged.
Fast forward 5 years and we got the second knock and husband arrested and phone seized. He has been accused of creating and fake snap chat account to send photos of a child on one occasion on a date and time we were together and both in bed.
It's now a long wait again for an evidence.
Am I stupid for staying with him in the first plac
I feel so lost,alone and confused and don't know what to do.
I know I'll probably be judged for standing by him
Fast forward 5 years and we got the second knock and husband arrested and phone seized. He has been accused of creating and fake snap chat account to send photos of a child on one occasion on a date and time we were together and both in bed.
It's now a long wait again for an evidence.
Am I stupid for staying with him in the first plac
I feel so lost,alone and confused and don't know what to do.
I know I'll probably be judged for standing by him
Sophie,
sending you lots of love and support you certainly don’t deserve any of this.
please use the forum you will never be judged only supported through this yucky situation.
I agree with poster you sound kind and supportive not stupid. The world needs people who are living and forgiving. I don’t know what led your partner to take these risks again and I am angry for you to have to deal with it again. Only he knows what led him to do this but it’s not your fault. It seems to be a complicated addiction mixed with low self worth and self esteem. It’s not your job to fix that only he can do this.
You must look after yourself too, I know this is harder said than done, I find self care hard to do.
Your not alone, I get how isolating it is and unfair you have to go through this twice. Xxx
big loves xxx
sending you lots of love and support you certainly don’t deserve any of this.
please use the forum you will never be judged only supported through this yucky situation.
I agree with poster you sound kind and supportive not stupid. The world needs people who are living and forgiving. I don’t know what led your partner to take these risks again and I am angry for you to have to deal with it again. Only he knows what led him to do this but it’s not your fault. It seems to be a complicated addiction mixed with low self worth and self esteem. It’s not your job to fix that only he can do this.
You must look after yourself too, I know this is harder said than done, I find self care hard to do.
Your not alone, I get how isolating it is and unfair you have to go through this twice. Xxx
big loves xxx
I feel like a bad person and guilty because I still love him so much and want to be with him.
I just dont know what to do. Until the outcome 0f this investigation I wont know what to do or what our future holds .
So glad I found this website its good to finally speak to people who understand and have gone through similar.
I just dont know what to do. Until the outcome 0f this investigation I wont know what to do or what our future holds .
So glad I found this website its good to finally speak to people who understand and have gone through similar.
Sophie,
you sound so hard on yourself especially naming the thread ‘stupid’ your not stupid your just very kind and I imagine empathetic. Don’t feel guilty for that.
you may benefit from talking to someone who can help you unpick things. I have started counselling and my counsellor is really good he understand sex addiction and is not judgmental. I don’t hate my ex. I am not with him because he can’t accept that he has done anything wrong. If he could maybe I could work with that. My partner is a lost little boy in an adult body. He needs his own therapy but he is not actively looking into this.
the forum is a great place, I am glad you found us too. I have been glued to this since my knock on the 20th December. It’s a safe space to thrash out ideas and feelings.
you can get through this Sophie, we are all in this boat together. It certainly is life shattering especially as you put your trust in him previously, though don’t apologise for standing by him. It’s your life you just need to look after yourself too xxx
you sound so hard on yourself especially naming the thread ‘stupid’ your not stupid your just very kind and I imagine empathetic. Don’t feel guilty for that.
you may benefit from talking to someone who can help you unpick things. I have started counselling and my counsellor is really good he understand sex addiction and is not judgmental. I don’t hate my ex. I am not with him because he can’t accept that he has done anything wrong. If he could maybe I could work with that. My partner is a lost little boy in an adult body. He needs his own therapy but he is not actively looking into this.
the forum is a great place, I am glad you found us too. I have been glued to this since my knock on the 20th December. It’s a safe space to thrash out ideas and feelings.
you can get through this Sophie, we are all in this boat together. It certainly is life shattering especially as you put your trust in him previously, though don’t apologise for standing by him. It’s your life you just need to look after yourself too xxx
Hi Sophie,
Please don't feel stupid my lovely, it's hard to just let someone go when you love them so much. You need to get him talking, find out what he did, if there is more that he isn't telling you a most of all why. He could be a sex/porn addict, be suffering with depression and you may not have a clue it is going on. I certainly didn't. Not that it makes what they have done any less serious but it will at least give you some sort of understanding. If you plan to stay with him then he will need to work on what his problem is for you to move on and get him help.
Much love to you x
Please don't feel stupid my lovely, it's hard to just let someone go when you love them so much. You need to get him talking, find out what he did, if there is more that he isn't telling you a most of all why. He could be a sex/porn addict, be suffering with depression and you may not have a clue it is going on. I certainly didn't. Not that it makes what they have done any less serious but it will at least give you some sort of understanding. If you plan to stay with him then he will need to work on what his problem is for you to move on and get him help.
Much love to you x
Hello Sophie. Yesterday I posted saying my husband has been arrested for the second time and Bethlou23 pointed me towards your post.
I'm feeling the same as you - and it's horrible. Somehow it's more of a reflection on us second time around.
It's been a few weeks since you first posted and I hope you've been able to be kind to yourself - you and I did nothing wrong for loving and supporting our partners. And we don't deserve what has happened to us.
Take care,
J x
I'm feeling the same as you - and it's horrible. Somehow it's more of a reflection on us second time around.
It's been a few weeks since you first posted and I hope you've been able to be kind to yourself - you and I did nothing wrong for loving and supporting our partners. And we don't deserve what has happened to us.
Take care,
J x